Never-Ending Thread: A Place for Laughs and Jokes - Join the Fun!

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Now THAT'S funny!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Not if your son is in Iraq...and has to dodge those suicide bombers every day.

 

[raebates]

Here in north-central Indiana, there's a commercial that makes me yell at the TV screen. It's a commercial for Aunt Millie's bakery items. The little jingle includes the line:The windows are lit by the glow of something baking.What does it make me yell? "If what you're baking is causing a glow in the windows, it's on fire! Go to the kitchen and put it out now! Quickly! Your family is in peril!"The good thing is that I'm usually alone when I yell this at the TV screen.

 

[chefann]

OMG! I just saw that commercial the other day and I thought the exact same thing!

 

[raebates]

Great minds, Ann. Great minds.That, or we're beginning to think alike. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

 

[PamperedTammy]

Pedro & His Girl

One beautiful December evening Pedro and his girlfriend Rosita were sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."
Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.


Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged "But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Rosita.



Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me."
Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."




Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....

"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a
Merry Christmas, and a Happy Juu Year."

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Here in north-central Indiana, there's a commercial that makes me yell at the TV screen. It's a commercial for Aunt Millie's bakery items. The little jingle includes the line:

The windows are bright with the glow of something baking.

What does it make me yell? "If what you're baking is causing a glow in the windows, it's on fire! Go to the kitchen and put it out now! Quickly! Your family is in peril!"

The good thing is that I'm usually alone when I yell this at the TV screen.

Be sure to let us know if the TV screen ever begins to answer.

 

[missyciccolella]

Not if your son is in Iraq...and has to dodge those suicide bombers every day.

My husband is in the Army so I completely understand - we've had many a conversation interrupted by RPG's & mortars ...I had just finished a conversation with a customer service rep who happened to be in India. I thought is was timely that I was transferred to another country and then received this email. I didn't mean to offend anyone as I have lost far too many friends in Iraq and Afghanistan.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Missy, I PM'd ya. (don't worry...nothin' but love for ya!)

 

[raebates]

Be sure to let us know if the TV screen ever begins to answer.

It often answers, but it's usually a non sequitur.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

There's a joke in there someplace, but it's a little more adult than should be posted in this forum.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

There's a joke in there someplace, but it's a little more adult than should be posted in this forum.

Are you saying some of us aren't adults?

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Well, now that you mention it, that's a pretty good point.

 

[chefann]

Hey! I resemble that remark!

 

[raebates]

I'm not sure what you're implying, but I feel certain that I may be offended.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Well, then, let me be the first to send you best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion as well as those who choose not to practice a religion at all;Additionally,a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions have helped make our society great, without regard to the race, creed, color, religious, or sexual preferences of the wishes.(Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

PC, Santa and MacHave you seen the new Macintosh commercial?

It's animated in the format of the old Frosty/Rudolph stop-action animations but instead of clay figures, it's all computer generated - on a Mac, I'm sure.

Very clever and very cute!

See it here.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Have you seen the new Macintosh commercial?

It's animated in the format of the old Frosty/Rudolph stop-action animations but instead of clay figures, it's all computer generated - on a Mac, I'm sure.

Very clever and very cute!

See it here.

That is so funny! I was just watching it when I clicked on this thread!

 

[raebates]

Well, then, let me be the first to send you best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion as well as those who choose not to practice a religion at all;

Additionally,

a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions have helped make our society great, without regard to the race, creed, color, religious, or sexual preferences of the wishes.

(Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)

Right back atcha, KG.

I purchased The Politically Correct Night Before Christmas last year. You'd love it.

 

[chefann]

Have you seen the new Macintosh commercial?

It's animated in the format of the old Frosty/Rudolph stop-action animations but instead of clay figures, it's all computer generated - on a Mac, I'm sure.

Very clever and very cute!

See it here.

I'd only give a PC as a gift to an enemy.


Or my SIL.

DH and I hadn't seen that one yet. Very funny.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

If you're really cruel to your SIL, give her a PC with Vista on it.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Well, then, let me be the first to send you best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion as well as those who choose not to practice a religion at all;

Additionally,

<SNIP>

that's why you should just celebrate Festivus!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

I remember Festus from Gunsmoke. He was played by the late Ken Curtis. http://comp.uark.edu/~tsnyder/gunsmoke/images/jpgs/festus.JPGI didn't know there was a holiday for Festus!

 

[chefann]

A blog I read had a great line the other day: Remember, good girls may get to go to heaven, but bad girls get to go everywhere!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

I remember Festus from Gunsmoke. He was played by the late Ken Curtis.

http://comp.uark.edu/~tsnyder/gunsmoke/images/jpgs/festus.JPG

I didn't know there was a holiday for Festus!

Festivus was a Holiday that George Costanza's family celebrated on the TV show Seinfeld.

How much must you hate your child to name it Festus? Poor Thing!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

A blog I read had a great line the other day: Remember, good girls may get to go to heaven, but bad girls get to go everywhere!

That must be why you only made it as far as Milwaukee.

You could have gone to Antigo, but NOOOOOOOoooooooooooo, you didn't want to go see that nice car.

 

[chefann]

Are you trying to say that Milwaukee is heaven?

Hardly. I mean, it's nice, but...

That car is very nice, but DH just isn't interested in one that old. And that trip was the alternator-free trip. We had enough problems getting home from Fox Point!

 

[chefann]

Mother's Dictionary

Drooling: how teething babies wash their chins

Family Planning: the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster

Feedback: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the
strained carrots

Full Name: what you call your child when you're mad at him

Grandparents: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right

Hearsay: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word

Impregnable: a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid

Independent: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say

Look Out!: what it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it

Prenatal: when your life was still somewhat your own

Prepared Childbirth: a contradiction in terms

Puddle: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing
dry shoes into it

Show Off: a child who is more talented than yours

Sterilize: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to
your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it

Storeroom: the distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything

Temper Tantrums: what you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children

Thunderstorm: a chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed

Top Bunk: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies

Two-Minute Warning: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises

Verbal: able to whine in words

Whodunit: none of the kids that live in your house

Whoops: an exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge"

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Are you trying to say that Milwaukee is heaven?Hardly. I mean, it's nice, but...That car is very nice, but DH just isn't interested in one that old. And that trip was the alternator-free trip. We had enough problems getting home from Fox Point!

Aw, but it was your color!Not to mention, on the way home, he could have taken you cruising on the Polish Love Boat.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Q: What is the first thing a blonde does after a serious automobile accident?A:

 

[Kitchen Diva]

hey KG, wanna help me find a 1972 Plymouth Baracuda? It's my dream car!

Course, once you find one, coming up with the cash to buy it will be another thing...but one step at a time, right?!? Why put the cart before the horse or count my hatched chickens or something like that

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

If the Magi had been women...

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

hey KG, wanna help me find a 1972 Plymouth Baracuda? It's my dream car!

Course, once you find one, coming up with the cash to buy it will be another thing...but one step at a time, right?!? Why put the cart before the horse or count my hatched chickens or something like that

Your wish is my command.

FOR SALE

http://www.oldcartrader.com/files/145533_9.jpg

It's on http://www.oldcartrader.com/ocdetail145533.htm.

The asking price is also more than I paid for my first home.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Your wish is my command.

FOR SALE

http://www.oldcartrader.com/files/145533_9.jpg

It's on http://www.oldcartrader.com/ocdetail145533.htm.

The asking price is also more than I paid for my first home.

Hmmm, I was hoping for yellow or purple. curious-how much are they asking? I'm hoping your first house was a one room house in a very remote rural area...

But it sure is a pretty car though.. Prrrrrrr

 

[Kitchen Diva]

They want $39,500 for that? Crimany, that's a little more than I paid for the car I drive now. holy moly batman!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

there was one on there for $70K
Sorry if I'm going to spend that much on a car, it is going to be a BMW Or maybe an old Camaro AND a Cuda! Great, now I'm drooling.

(I LOVE cars!!!!)

 

[chefann]

Go ahead - ask KG about his special car. Her name is Sonja.DH and I currently own, let's see... I think 8 cars, although several are parts cars that DH is selling piece by piece. He and I are active in the Lincoln and Continental Owners Club.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

there was one on there for $70K
Sorry if I'm going to spend that much on a car, it is going to be a BMW Or maybe an old Camaro AND a Cuda! Great, now I'm drooling.

(I LOVE cars!!!!)

Now you are talking my language!:love:

DH and I own an original, #'s matching, 1970 Plum Crazy Purple 440-6 pac Challenger - in mint condition! It is BEEYOOOOTEEEFULLL!

Mopars are the family hobby.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Moved to the Cars thread.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Before and AfterMoved to the Cars thread.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Now you are talking my language!:love:

DH and I own an original, #'s matching, 1970 Plum Crazy Purple 440-6 pac Challenger - in mint condition! It is BEEYOOOOTEEEFULLL!

Mopars are the family hobby.

Can I come and touch it?:blushing:

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Sonja is quite the looker!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

My babyShe's young, but she's a beauty!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Moved to the Cars thread.

 

[chefann]

Here's one of our babies. DH had just finished an engine bay restoration, and the hood hadn't yet been reinstalled.http://www.michiganlcoc.org/gallery/albums/DownriverCruise2007/Downriver_cruise_2007002.sized.jpgThis is it, same day, on the move:
http://www.michiganlcoc.org/gallery/albums/DownriverCruise2007/DSC_0054_U.sized.jpgAnd that's DH in the driver's seat, wearing his "dork hat."

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

I think we should have started a car thread.I'll move my posts to a car thread if you will.

 

[chefann]

'Kay.
Gotta reboot - I just bopped over into Boot Camp to submit a show.

 

[chefann]

Aw, crud! I cut the code for my post so I could copy it into a new thread. Then I went and copied something else. argh!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

I love cars...where is the car thread? Sorry I broke the rules again KG and hijacked a thread and I'm sure I committed a minimum of 18 other CS rule infractions... sniffle

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Yes, hijacking is a serious offense around here.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

please forgive. I keep forgetting... I don't even know I'm doing it. Honest! I'm just too perky and it gets the best of me.
so...where's the car thread?