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Never-Ending Thread: A Place for Laughs and Jokes - Join the Fun!
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DebPC
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The_Kitchen_Guy
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22 Aphorisms
- 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
- The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
- Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
- Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
- Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
- The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
- It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
- Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.
- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
- For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
- Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
- To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
- Two wrongs are only the beginning.
- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
- Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.
- Don't sweat petty things....or pet sweaty things.
- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
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The_Kitchen_Guy
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GOOD SAMARITANA Sunday school teacher was telling her class
the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked
the class, "If you saw a person lying on the
roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would
you do?" A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed
silence, "I think I'd throw up."
the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked
the class, "If you saw a person lying on the
roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would
you do?" A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed
silence, "I think I'd throw up."
DebPC
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keynibear
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keynibear
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Christmas Day 2006
About 4:00 in the morning my 4 year old daughter wakes up and wants to open presents. I told her it was still just a bit to early, and to go back to bed, we could get up in a little while to open presents.
About 6:30 I get up, get dressed and get ready to make pancakes for breakfast. My daughter comes back into the room and asks if we can open presents now. I told her sure, and to go wake up her brothers. I was sitting in a chair and had just finished putting on my shoes.
My daughter climbs in my lap, and says. “ I don’t feel good.” Thinking she was still tired, I told her to go lay on the bed with daddy, and I would call her when the pancakes are ready.
She goes over to the bed and climbs up, and as soon as she does, she throws up all over my husband, and the bed.
I couldn’t help myself , I started to laugh, and couldn’t stop. My husband said, “this isn’t funny!” and my response : “oh yes it I just left MY Lap.: LOL
About 4:00 in the morning my 4 year old daughter wakes up and wants to open presents. I told her it was still just a bit to early, and to go back to bed, we could get up in a little while to open presents.
About 6:30 I get up, get dressed and get ready to make pancakes for breakfast. My daughter comes back into the room and asks if we can open presents now. I told her sure, and to go wake up her brothers. I was sitting in a chair and had just finished putting on my shoes.
My daughter climbs in my lap, and says. “ I don’t feel good.” Thinking she was still tired, I told her to go lay on the bed with daddy, and I would call her when the pancakes are ready.
She goes over to the bed and climbs up, and as soon as she does, she throws up all over my husband, and the bed.
I couldn’t help myself , I started to laugh, and couldn’t stop. My husband said, “this isn’t funny!” and my response : “oh yes it I just left MY Lap.: LOL
keynibear
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esavvymom
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There was a middle aged guy who bought a brand new Mercedes convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it up to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. 'This is great,' he thought and floored it some more. He looked in his rearview mirror and there was a Florida Highway Patrol Trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blasting. 'I can get away from him with no problem' thought the man and he floored it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph. Then he thought, 'What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing' and pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the State Trooper to catch up with him. The Trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man. 'Sir,' he said, looking at his watch. 'My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday the 13th. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding; that I've never heard before, I'll let you go.' The man looked back at the Trooper and said, 'Last week my wife ran off with a State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back.' The State Trooper said, 'Have a nice day.'
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The_Kitchen_Guy
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esavvymom
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His name is BubbaHis name was Bubba, he was from Mississippi and he needed a loan. So, he walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan Officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Paris for an International Redneck Festival for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank. The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Redneck handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The Redneck produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold he car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest.
*
Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Redneck from the south for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan.
*
An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's private underground garage and parked it.
*
Two weeks later, the Redneck returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07.
*
The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found that you are distinguished alumni from Ole Miss University, a highly sophisticated investor and multi-millionaire with real estate and financial interests all over the world. Your investments include a large number of wind turbines around Sweetwater, Texas. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
*
The good 'ole boy replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?"
*
His name was BUBBA.... Keep an eye on those southern boys! Just because we talk funny does not mean we are stupid.
*
Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Redneck from the south for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan.
*
An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's private underground garage and parked it.
*
Two weeks later, the Redneck returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07.
*
The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found that you are distinguished alumni from Ole Miss University, a highly sophisticated investor and multi-millionaire with real estate and financial interests all over the world. Your investments include a large number of wind turbines around Sweetwater, Texas. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
*
The good 'ole boy replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?"
*
His name was BUBBA.... Keep an eye on those southern boys! Just because we talk funny does not mean we are stupid.
DebPC
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<h2>1. What is Never-Ending Thread (NET)?</h2><p>Never-Ending Thread (NET) is a thread created on Pampered Chef's forum as a place for members to share their latest jokes without having to start a new thread every time.</p><h2>2. Why was NET created?</h2><p>NET was created to provide a designated space for members to share jokes and have a good laugh without cluttering the forum with multiple joke threads.</p><h2>3. Can anyone post in NET?</h2><p>Yes, anyone who is a member of Pampered Chef's forum can post in NET and contribute their jokes.</p><h2>4. Are there any guidelines for posting in NET?</h2><p>We ask that members keep the jokes appropriate and respectful. We also encourage members to use proper grammar and spelling when posting.</p><h2>5. Can jokes posted in NET be used in shows?</h2><p>It's possible that some jokes posted in NET may be used in shows, but it is not guaranteed. The purpose of NET is to provide a fun space for members to share jokes, not for the sole purpose of finding material for shows.</p>
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