Never-Ending Thread: A Place for Laughs and Jokes - Join the Fun!

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Shampoo Warning!I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner!

Do you use shampoo in the shower like I do?

When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and
printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning,

"FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY"

No wonder I keep gaining weight! So, I have got rid of that shampoo and
I've started using Dawn dish soap instead.

The label reads, "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."

Well, my problem is solved! If I don't answer the phone,
it's because I'm in the shower.

 

[DebPC]

Garden Store Sign

 

[DebPC]

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.

Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.

" I feel terrible,"! He explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."
The blonde says, "Don't worry."

She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.

The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.

Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet,turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished.

He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"

The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.
It says..........."Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave."

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

No idea how this is done - clever programming I guess.

Follow the link below, when the guy stops jogging, move your cursor just above his head.

http://www.selfcontrolfreak.com/pakken.html

 

[DebPC]

Yes!

 

[DebPC]

Yes!

 

[DebPC]

So me- sometimes...

 

[DebPC]

Makes sense to me.

 

[DebPC]

Simply put.

 

[DebPC]

Oh yeah!

 

[DebPC]

Welcome to Monday!

 

[DebPC]

Oh yeah!

 

[DebPC]

Funny...

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

A recent article in the Cincinnati Enquirer reported that a woman, one Myra Yablonski, has sued Bethesda North Hospital, saying that after her husband was treated there recently, he had lost all interest in sex. A hospital spokesman replied, "Mr. Yablonski was actually admitted in Ophthalmology. All we did was correct his eyesight."

 

[DebPC]

CaliforniaJust got back from California- found this cute!

 

[DebPC]

Liked this...

 

[DebPC]

hmmmm...

 

[DebPC]

So true- ouch!

 

[DebPC]

Cute!

 

[DebPC]

Been there....

 

[DebPC]

Oh yeah... From theberry.com

 

[DebPC]

Anyone have one of these at home?

 

[DebPC]

Happy Sunday!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Do you think you're pretty good at geography?

In this game by Lufthansa, just click on where you think the city is and the plane will land there. The game then shows the correct destination! (It's sort of like pin the tail on the donkey only you have to know something about geography.) Good luck!

Warning - this is addictive!

http://www.lufthansa-usa.com/useugame2007/html/play.html

PS - I'm not very good at it!

 

[DebPC]

HaHa...

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl
whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?''

Her mother replied, "Because white is the color of happiness,
and today is the happiest day of her life!"

The little girl thought about this for a moment then said,
"Then why is the groom wearing black?"








(I always thought the bride wore white because the dishwasher
should match all the other major appliances!)

 

[DebPC]

To wine lovers everywhere.

 

[DebPC]

So true.

 

[DebPC]

Self esteem issues...

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Mike and Jerry met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

One day Jerry didn't show up. Mike didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something.. But after Jerry hadn't shown up for a week or so, Mike really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Mike didn't know where Jerry lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Mike figured he had seen the last of Jerry, but one day, Mike went to the park and - SURPRISE! There sat Jerry! Mike was very excited and happy to see him, told him so, then asked him, "For crying out loud Jerry, what in the world happened to you? Where have you been?"

Jerry replied, "I've been in jail."

"Jail?!" cried Mike. "Why were you in jail?"

"Well," Jerry explained, "Remember Rosie, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop?"

"Yeah," said Mike, "How could I forget her? What about her?"

"Well, one day she filed rape charges against me. Being's as old as I am, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty'."

"And?" asked Mike.

"The damn judge gave me 30 days for perjury!"

 

[DebPC]

We're still here.

 

[DebPC]

So true...

 

[DebPC]

Happy Sunday!

 

[DebPC]

Very punny!

 

[DebPC]

So true.

 

[DebPC]

Happy Wednesday!

 

[DebPC]

So true...

 

[DebPC]

Happy Friday!

 

[DebPC]

Yup.

 

[DebPC]

Happy Mothers Day!

 

[DebPC]

Monday Monday.....

 

[DebPC]

Have a great Tuesday!

 

[DebPC]

Oh yeah!

 

[DebPC]

So true.

 

[DebPC]

Happy Friday!!!

 

[DebPC]

So true.

 

[dooleycrew]

Funny I have a dog named Ebony -- she gets sooo excited when it is time to eat... I figured someone would enjoy this also!! (she also steals sticks of butter off the counter)This isn't Ebony though, she is a German Shepherd...

 

[DebPC]

Have a great day!

 

[dooleycrew]

This happens all of the time!!

 

[dooleycrew]

This is soo true!! I need to hang this one up.