OMG! Husband Drops Baby Bomb on Me: My Reaction is Priceless!

[ChefBeckyD]

My DH and I THOUGHT we weren't going to have children....but God had another plan! For a whole week after we found out I was pregnant, neither one of us talked about it...not to anyone...not even each other (like it would just go away or something). We had a good life, we travelled, we spent our money from our 2 full time incomes any way we pleased, and really enjoyed our life the way it was. My DH especially thought his life was over now that a baby was on the way. (BTW, I was 39 & he was 46) We had our reservations all thru the pregnancy - until I started early labor, and all of a sudden I realized that little guy inside me had somehow captured my heart, and I was willing to do ANYTHING to keep him safe. The moment he was born (after a grueling labor that I haven't forgotten!) my DH looked at me with tears in his eyes and said "Oh Wow!".....and it has been an incredible journey ever since. Did we give up a lifestyle....yes. Did we give up some income? yes, yes, yes! But what we received in return is so much more incredible and fulfilling. We had no idea before he was born how much we were going to love him, or how much joy and laughter he would bring into our lives. Yes, we also have had plenty of poopy diapers, and projectile vomit, and temper tantrums, and lots of spills and messes....and my corner jacuzzi tub is now filled with bath toys, and I am missing the jackets off alot of my hardback books....but I wouldn't go back to my "other" life for anything! I'm such a sap for those Johnson & Johnson commercials - the ones that end with "Having a baby changes everything". They make me cry, because for us it was so true! Everything we never wanted, but are so thankful now that we didn't miss out on!

 

[Kathytnt]

Becky - What a great story

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Becky - What a great story

Thanks Kathy. I just wanted to share my story - because I have been on both sides now. I totally understand where Rennea is coming from - that's where I was....but I have also learned that what I thought was the end of a great life was actually the beginning of another great life!
I am reading a book right now by Jodi Picoult - "Vanishing Act", and there is a quote right in the beginning by the main character...."That's the strange thing about being a mother: Until you have a baby, you don't even realize how much you were missing one."
And that is truly my story!

 

[baychef]

Becky - What a great story

Becky, that was fantastic! That's the way it should be. It brings back the point that we never know what is in God's plan. I am not a deeply religious person, but I do believe that there is a God, a Higher Power or something greater than us.
On the sad side of life, I work in a school district and see so many very sad stories. It reinforces the "think it over REALLY hard" before you just make a quick decision.
Just saying that made me think of my great aunt that passed away a few years ago. She and my great uncle were very much in love. She did not want to have children because she wanted all of the attention. I truly believe that she was Daddy's little girl to the hilt and she wanted to remain that way. She liked to be waited on and was a bit on the selfish side. Guess what she did for a living??? She was a 5th grade teacher for years. She was a good teacher and was firm, but fair. My great uncle is my blood relative and his family is VERY family oriented and they were married in the 1930's or 40's when having a family was just a natural progression. Dispite her selfish side, I think she and my great uncle did the right thing. I am sure at times one of them may have felt different.
Ann

 

[Chef Michelle D]

Me and my DH always knew we wanted kids but not sure on how many. We had our son 8 years ago and we stopped with him. We do get "how can you only have one", I had no problems getting pregnant and I was only 30 when we had him but we felt our family was just fine with one. It's amazine what people will say to you. Even if they don't know you well they are like "wow you only have one". Like it's the end of the world that he is in an only child. People say what about when you are gone. I don't feel I need to give my son a brother or sister just so he has one later. Just because he has one does not mean they are going to be close or even live in the same part of the world later in life.

You need to decide what is best for you now and later in life. I would never change having my son but I am very happy that we only had one. Good luck and just think how much fun making a baby could be!!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Becky, that was fantastic! That's the way it should be. It brings back the point that we never know what is in God's plan. I am not a deeply religious person, but I do believe that there is a God, a Higher Power or something greater than us.
On the sad side of life, I work in a school district and see so many very sad stories. It reinforces the "think it over REALLY hard" before you just make a quick decision.
Just saying that made me think of my great aunt that passed away a few years ago. She and my great uncle were very much in love. She did not want to have children because she wanted all of the attention. I truly believe that she was Daddy's little girl to the hilt and she wanted to remain that way. She liked to be waited on and was a bit on the selfish side. Guess what she did for a living??? She was a 5th grade teacher for years. She was a good teacher and was firm, but fair. My great uncle is my blood relative and his family is VERY family oriented and they were married in the 1930's or 40's when having a family was just a natural progression. Dispite her selfish side, I think she and my great uncle did the right thing. I am sure at times one of them may have felt different.
Ann

Ann, some of my best friends are teachers, and another close friend is a Case Manager for MI Gift of Life (organ donors), and I hear such heartbreaking stories from them about parents who should never be called parents. I totally agree that some people should never be parents. It breaks my heart.
In my story - sometimes what you think may be the worst thing to happen to you, can actually turn out to be the best! Our lives just take turns like that (orchestrated by God). In all areas, not just babies!

 

[chefann]

Me and my DH always knew we wanted kids but not sure on how many. We had our son 8 years ago and we stopped with him. We do get "how can you only have one", I had no problems getting pregnant and I was only 30 when we had him but we felt our family was just fine with one. It's amazine what people will say to you. Even if they don't know you well they are like "wow you only have one". Like it's the end of the world that he is in an only child. People say what about when you are gone. I don't feel I need to give my son a brother or sister just so he has one later. Just because he has one does not mean they are going to be close or even live in the same part of the world later in life.

I get a similar response when people find out that DH and I do not want children. They usually express outrage that we don't want to reproduce and start treating me like I'm somehow mentally ill or not a real woman.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

I get a similar response when people find out that DH and I do not want children. They usually express outrage that we don't want to reproduce and start treating me like I'm somehow mentally ill or not a real woman.

I used to get that all the time too....and like Michele, I also get the whole "You can't let him be an only child" speil now.....to which we reply "Ummm, yes, we can!". Like it's any of their business! We LOVE our son, but since I never had any ticking biological clock or anything, and I really don't like taking care of other people's kids (my nightmare job would be running a daycare!), I have no desire now to keep having kids! One is enough for me, and I feel that if I am doing a good job of raising him, than that is plenty!

 

[baychef]

I used to get that all the time too....and like Michele, I also get the whole "You can't let him be an only child" speil now.....to which we reply "Ummm, yes, we can!". Like it's any of their business! We LOVE our son, but since I never had any ticking biological clock or anything, and I really don't like taking care of other people's kids (my nightmare job would be running a daycare!), I have no desire now to keep having kids! One is enough for me, and I feel that if I am doing a good job of raising him, than that is plenty!

I did want a second child, but my ex was concerned about the cost. He was right. Sometimes I have little moments of regrets but for the most part...I don't. I have 2 older brothers...one I tolerate for my parents' sake and because I love his 2 boys. The other I get along with but he can be so head strong. Yes, all three of us are different and some of our similarities can drive us nuts!

We tried not to treat our son like an only child. He loved it when the cat got in trouble...took the pressure off him!! He is a very well adjusted 16 year old. He will be joining me at Atlantis and turning 17 there!!! He has lots of friends and uses good judgement (not perfect but I am impressed with some of the choices he makes...not sure I thought things out as well at his age!)

I hate it when people pressure people to have children or if they decide they want more than a few children. My friend is a very patient Mom and has 5 children ranging in ages 15 through 8 months!! She gets the...HOW MANY DO YOU HAVE? I always got the "only child...that's so sad" line!! My son loves it. I was the only girl and felt like an only child so everyone's case is different.
Ann

 

[jenniferp417]

I'm another one of those "really don't want children" people and I get a lot of flack too.

My Mom tried to convince me I'd change my mind once I saw my hypothetical baby... and I asked "what if I don't, can I give it to you?" She said yes.

 

[chefjeanine]

I get a similar response when people find out that DH and I do not want children. They usually express outrage that we don't want to reproduce and start treating me like I'm somehow mentally ill or not a real woman.

Ah yes, I know that one ALL to well. Here's to all of us mentally ill, fake women and men! We've been married for over 17 years now so our friends and families are used to the idea. Can still be interesting when you're with a group of Pampered Chef Consultants or at a show.