My Dad's Fight for Recovery: A Daughter's Sad Update

[Shawnna]

Linda...we are still praying for you and your dad. God bless you.

 

[Shawnna]

Linda...please keep us updated on your move. My church is still praying for you.

 

[pamperedlinda]

update:

Well, things didn't go as I had hoped. I had a new rehab place all set for my dad near my home and I had chartered a medically equiped airplane to bring us back to GA....then, he had a set-back and was too unstable to fly. My husband had come to FL to help me close his house and hang the hurricane shutters and he was going to drive my car home so I could go in the airplane with my dad. Since we had already done everything, we decided to go ahead and drive my car home with some of my dad's things I wanted to bring home with me. I came home with him yesterday and am planning to fly back to WPB this weekend. Hopefully my dad will be stable enough to travel later in the week. We also discovered that the rehab place that I was going to take my dad too is not equiped to handle someone in his condition (WHY didn't they figure THAT out when they accepted him???? :grumpy: ) The doctor is finally paying more attention to me and my dad and she didn't act like a bitch when we met on Weds afternoon - plus, I refuse to meet with her in a one on one anymore, I have insisted that the Asst. Director be present....works out much better IMO.

So, I am home for a couple of days. I thought it would feel good, but I only feel more guilty. I feel guilty that I left my dad alone in the hospital and I feel guilty because I see that my house and family are suffering in my absence.

One good thing - I was able to get an appt to have my hair done this afternoon

Thanks everyone, I appreciate your support. I'll update when I can.

 

[raebates]

Linda, shame OFF you. Don't let that guilt settle on your shoulders. You're a good daughter who is doing everything she can to make sure her dad gets the care he needs. Enjoy your little respite of pampering at the salon. Eat right and get plenty of sleep. Keep yourself healthy so you can continue to be an advocate for your dad. You know I'm praying for you both.

 

[chefann]

Linda, you need to take care of yourself, too! Ignoring your needs while you take care of your Dad's only means that eventually you won't be able to take care of him because there's some sort of crisis. It sounds like he's in good hands at the hospital, so let the staff there do their jobs and get a little you-time. Enjoy the hair appointment, and pamper yourself! You'll come out of that refreshed and better able to attack the tasks in front of you.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

What Ann & Rae said.

Plus - ((((Hugs))))

I know about being the parent to your parent, Linda...and I know how physically, mentally, and emotionally draining it can be. Enjoy your time home with your family, don't worry (too much) about your house, and do something that rejuvenates your spirit.

Love you, and will continue to pray, Girl!

 

[heat123]

update:

Well, things didn't go as I had hoped. I had a new rehab place all set for my dad near my home and I had chartered a medically equiped airplane to bring us back to GA....then, he had a set-back and was too unstable to fly. My husband had come to FL to help me close his house and hang the hurricane shutters and he was going to drive my car home so I could go in the airplane with my dad. Since we had already done everything, we decided to go ahead and drive my car home with some of my dad's things I wanted to bring home with me. I came home with him yesterday and am planning to fly back to WPB this weekend. Hopefully my dad will be stable enough to travel later in the week. We also discovered that the rehab place that I was going to take my dad too is not equiped to handle someone in his condition (WHY didn't they figure THAT out when they accepted him???? :grumpy: ) The doctor is finally paying more attention to me and my dad and she didn't act like a bitch when we met on Weds afternoon - plus, I refuse to meet with her in a one on one anymore, I have insisted that the Asst. Director be present....works out much better IMO.

So, I am home for a couple of days. I thought it would feel good, but I only feel more guilty. I feel guilty that I left my dad alone in the hospital and I feel guilty because I see that my house and family are suffering in my absence.

One good thing - I was able to get an appt to have my hair done this afternoon

Thanks everyone, I appreciate your support. I'll update when I can.

Enjoy your time at home... get a message! Good luck next week. Hugs.

 

[Nanisu]

Hey Linda:

{{{{{{{Linda}}}}}}. Guilt is always a gift from the Enemy, not from God. You are doing everything to honor your family--both your dad and your personal family. I'm praying that you can just relax for a couple of days, clear your head, and get His direction. He loves your family more than you do....hard to believe, I know. It will work out according to His plan for you. It is not a co-incidence that this all happend right after you got back from that awesome Missions trip to China--the Enemy wants to discourage and defeat you. When you get this way borrow some strength from the rest of us--we're all praying for you.

 

[NooraK]

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

Ditto what everyone else said. Take some time to be with yourself, enjoy that hair appointment. It's not like you left your dad at home, alone with no help.

 

[pamperedlinda]

the saga continues....

I am back in FL. I enjoyed my time at home and my hair looks so much better now .

The hospital has been working with me to relocate my dad to GA. Bad thing is, no other facility will accept him (damn medicare and their strict regulations!!!) which really blows my mind, becaue the care he is receiving is expensive, seems to me any hospital would want that . Anyhow, I have come to peace with the fact that he is going to remain in FL and I will split my weeks between my home and here in FL until he is discharged. I have no idea how long medicare will allow him to stay in the acute rehab environment (probably as soon as he starts to show signs on improvement they will insist he is good to go to a lower level of care :grumpy Anyhow, I am going to focus my efforts now on finding a sub-acute rehab nearer to my home that he can go to when he is discharged. His doctor has been much better to deal with and at this point I really see no beneficial reason to change from her.

Get this! I found a fabulous Traumatic Brain Injury facility in central FL (not far from where I have more family) they were willing to accept him...then I found out that medicare does not consider them as a "necessary level of care" and will not pay anything towards care there....care there ranges from $900-$2000/day! and they like to start with 30-90 days

 

[ChefBeckyD]

the saga continues....

I am back in FL. I enjoyed my time at home and my hair looks so much better now .

The hospital has been working with me to relocate my dad to GA. Bad thing is, no other facility will accept him (damn medicare and their strict regulations!!!) which really blows my mind, becaue the care he is receiving is expensive, seems to me any hospital would want that . Anyhow, I have come to peace with the fact that he is going to remain in FL and I will split my weeks between my home and here in FL until he is discharged. I have no idea how long medicare will allow him to stay in the acute rehab environment (probably as soon as he starts to show signs on improvement they will insist he is good to go to a lower level of care :grumpy Anyhow, I am going to focus my efforts now on finding a sub-acute rehab nearer to my home that he can go to when he is discharged. His doctor has been much better to deal with and at this point I really see no beneficial reason to change from her.

Get this! I found a fabulous Traumatic Brain Injury facility in central FL (not far from where I have more family) they were willing to accept him...then found out that medicare does not consider them as a "necessary level of care" and will not pay anything towards care there....care there ranges from $900-$2000/day! and they like to start with 30-90 days

Linda, I am so sorry. I know the frustration of dealing with medicare...it's one (of many) reasons that I hate the thought of gov't controlled health care for everyone. The rules and regulations for medicare forget to include common sense and NEVER take into consideration the individual needs of the patient.

This has to be physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausting for you. PLEASE make sure you are taking care of yourself, and I'll keep praying.

{{{{{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}}}}}

 

[pamperedlinda]

Linda, I am so sorry. I know the frustration of dealing with medicare...it's one (of many) reasons that I hate the thought of gov't controlled health care for everyone. The rules and regulations for medicare forget to include common sense and NEVER take into consideration the individual needs of the patient.

God help us all if this passes. The level of health care an individual is eligible for care cannot be regulated by statistics!!!

 

[Shawnna]

Linda...we are still praying for you and your dad. I am so sorry you are still having problems. I am glad you got to go home for a little while...you needed that time for yourself. If you don't take care of yourself you won't be able to take care of anyone else. I will begin to pray that the Lord will show you the perfect place for your dad and that they will accept him.

I am very afraid of what is going to happen if we get government controlled health care. It scares me for our elderly.

 

[pamperedlinda]

Got the official word on Friday - Medicare wants him moved to a lower level of care because he cannot keep up with the intense therapy program in Acute Rehab Good news is I found a top rated Sub-Acute Rehab and Nursing facility near my home in GA that has accepted him (I had forgotten that a HS friend of mine was Director of Nursing in a similar type facility and she helped me find this place...woot woot!!!). Anyhow, dad and I are scheduled to leave tomorrow morning on a medical charter plane to go back to GA, he will go to the new facility, and I get to sleep in my own bed tomorrow night. Tuesday, Dad will start his new therapy program and I will start to figure-out what my "new-normal-life" will be.

This has been a very long and emotional journey. Thanks to all of my CS friends and your thoughts, prayers and support in helping me deal with this.

 

[letscook04]

I know what you are going through {{{{hugs}}}}. We just had to put my mother n law and father n law in a Nursing facility (seperate facility). It just breaks my heart seeing them both like that. My MIL has dementia and does not remember me marring her son (17 years) On the weekends we go and visit them.

 

[babywings76]

I'm so glad that you're able to go home and bring your dad closer to you now. Hope all goes well with the travel and the new adjustments.

 

[Chef Endora]

Linda, you, your dad & the rest of your family will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers as you travel down this path. Most important...please take care of yourself, and do not do this alone. Involve your family members. Once you set a tone of being "the one" its hard to move away from that!

 

[pamperedlinda]

.....please take care of yourself, and do not do this alone. Involve your family members. Once you set a tone of being "the one" its hard to move away from that!

Unfortunately I am the the only one. I have a brother, but he is not exactly 'reliable'

I am taking care of myself the best I can. I have a very supportive husband too. One thing that has resulted from all of this is that when I am under stress I lose my appetite...I have lost @ 10 pounds which has given me motivation to start working out again. I'd kinda like to keep it off and lose another 10

 

[Shawnna]

Linda...you and your family will continue to be in my prayers. I am glad you found a good facility close to home. I am very glad you have a supportive husband to help you. That is a great blessing. I am sorry you don't have help from other family members. I will add that to my prayer...that your brother will begin to be reliable and help you more. Don't get discouraged. Don't let stuff build up inside you...if you can't talk to anyone else you can always talk to God. Getting it off your chest will make you feel better. Remember that you are not alone. God is always there to listen and comfort you. You take care of yourself. God bless you.

 

[Curlyone]

Linda,

I haven't been on CS for quite a while and am now just reading these posts. I am so sorry to read about all that you and your Dad have been thru. I am so glad to be associated with individuals that have the love of the LORD in their hearts and it definitely has spilled out in the many messages of inspiration that you have received here on this site. I too will keep you, your family and your Dad in my prayers.

My father died on April 30th, 2005 from pancreatic cancer and I was the "responsible" daughter that mostly took care of him. It was not only a very tramatic situation for me, but also a "gift" of love. Please take care of yourself. Without you, your family and your Dad will suffer. My pastor is always telling us "in all things, give thanks". I know that it is hard to thank GOD during these times, but it really works. Thank him even for the little things that your Dad responds to. Thank Him for the tears, because they help cleanse the body. You will be a changed person because of this. And because you are changed . . . you will see things and treat people differently because of what you have been thru yourself.

I pray for GOD to give you the strength to endure and for GOD, who is the Great Physician, to heal your Father.

Much love to you!!! ~ Connie

 

[pamperedlinda]

I am finally home! I moved my dad to a rehab/nursing facility near my home on Monday. Dad is adjusting and hopefully he will continue to heal. He is still a fall risk and is unable to walk unassisted. He has lots of memory issues as well. I hope that this place will be able to help him heal so that he can resume (if not all then at least a portion) of his life and that he can be self-sufficient again.

 

[pcchefjane]

So glad you are back home! Praying your dad will continue to recover!

 

[heat123]

That's wonderful to hear you are back home! I wish your father continued healing and take care of youself too!

 

[Shawnna]

So glad you are home and found a good facility for your Dad. We will continue to pray for his complete healing. You take care of yourself.

 

[Nanisu]

{{{{{Linda}}}}}. Prayers for thanksgiving and strength coming your way

 

[pamperedlinda]

Update:

My dad passed away tonight @ 7:00. He developed pneumonia earlier this week and went very quickly. It was a shock to all of us. I am grateful that he did not suffer and linger. Thanks to all of you for your prayers and your concern and your kind words during this time. I do appreciate it.

 

[TrishPCMommy]

I'm so sorry for your loss Linda! I'm glad he did not suffer and I'm glad you had the opportunity to spend time with him... I'll pray for peace and comfort.

 

[nikked]

Oh, Linda. I am so sorry for your loss! You and your family continue to be in our prayers.

 

[Shawnna]

Oh Linda...I am so sorry to hear that. I am glad you got to spend these past few weeks/months with him. We will continue to pray for your family. Feel free to message me if you need to vent/talk/whatever. I am here to listen and help in any way I can.

 

[babywings76]

Linda, I'm so sorry for your loss. You have cared so much for him. He had such love and care from you for a long time. Such sad news! You and your family will continue to be in my prayers.

 

[mountainmama74]

I'm so so sorry to hear of your loss.

 

[raebates]

Linda, I'm so sorry. I pray that you will find comfort in the wonderful memories you shared with your dad.

 

[erinyourpclady]

Linda, I am so sorry for your loss. You an your family will continue to be in my prayers...

 

[legacypc46]

Lots of hugs Linda. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[dianevill]

Linda, I am so sorry for your loss. He will always live on within you. I'm praying for your comfort and peace during this time.

 

[Ginger428]

I am SO sorry for your loss. I have not been on here for awhile & did not know.

 

[chefcharity]

I am sorry for your loss, Linda. You and your family are in my prayers.

 

[heat123]

OMG, Linda... HUGS. I am sooo sorry. Take care of you, thoughts with you and your family.

 

[Chefgirl2]

Linda, I am so sorry to hear about your father. It know how devestating it can be to lose a parent. Take comfort that you were there for him and that he didn't suffer. You and your family are in my prayers. ~Elaine

 

[aalbert]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!

 

[MissChef]

Linda, I already posted on fb to this news, but again, i'm sorry hun! I'm still praying for you and your family!
love & hugs to you!

 

[ChefLoriG]

*hugs*, so sorry to hear, just know you were the best daughter ever!

 

[pampered1224]

Oh man Linda. I am soooo sad to hear that. Prayers and love to you!

 

[pampchefsarah]

Oh, Linda, I just saw this (missed it on FB, but now understand what Kacey meant). Like everyone else, I'm so sorry and am sending hugs and prayers. I lost my father in 2000, and if you need a shoulder, please don't hesitate to contact me. [email protected] or 703-296-9100.

 

[pamperedbybarbara]

Linda, I am so sorry for your loss.....prayers for both you and your family....{{{hugs}}}

 

[Lisa/ChefBear]

Linda,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm so glad you were able to be there for him.

Keeping you and your family in prayer. May God's hand of peace continue to be with you.

Lisa