My Dad's Fight for Recovery: A Daughter's Sad Update

[heather223]

Linda- I am sending prayers your way!

 

[AJPratt]

This is good! I know this is hard, but you don't want him sent home too early!

 

[pamperedpals]

Linda I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. I will be praying for him and your family.

 

[Admin Greg]

Big hugs from me too!!

 

[pamperedlinda]

Thanks again ya'll! Here's an update:

I think I already told yu that dad is in the Acute Rehab area of the hospital - this is where all of their brain trauma patients go. He was moved there on Thurs evening. On Friday they did thei evals on him. He slept from Fir afternoon until Mon morning! I was really getting distressed with that. Monday he had a great day and good therapy sessions - he gets 3 hours of theraphy each day (physical therapy, occupational therapy & speech therapy). When I arrived today I ran into the Dr. and she said that I would be amazed at his progress....well, byt that time he was tired and to me he seemed to regress. He didn't know me and his speech was all jibberish again. He babbled and didn't make any sense when we talqked to him. The assured me that it was part of the "sundowner's" syndrom and that he was just tired. We still don't know how much/if any brain damage ther is - and probably won't know for a while.

Thanks everyone for your prayers, thoughts, and comforting words.

 

[dannyzmom]

Sending you lots of hugs Lin!
xoxoxoxox

 

[legacypc46]

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers Linda.

 

[AJPratt]

Just keep in mind that they see the worst of the worst! It sounds like positive news to me. And, I know its hard. Hang in there, my little chickpee!

 

[Shawnna]

Dear Heavenly Father...I lift up Linda and her Dad. Please give her strength for each day. I pray father for healing in her Dad. I know Lord that you are the great physician and by Your stripes we are healed. Dear Jesus please give Linda a peace about this situation. Wrap your arms around her and her Dad and hold them close. Father I also pray that you would send someone by to minister to them. They are far from home and need encouragement. I thank you Jesus for the healing. I know that you will be glorified in this situation. We love you father and praise you. Thank you. Amen

 

[Shawnna]

bumping to keep this active.

 

[vwpamperedchef]

Linda, I have been away from this board for awhile, but I am sending you prayers and hugs. Love Vanessa

 

[Shawnna]

Still praying Linda.

 

[Bren706]

You are in my thoughts and prayers Linda.

 

[baychef]

Linda, I am so sorry to read all of this. I am just starting to peek above the mountain of paperwork I am under at my job so I have been off the loop.

MANY hugs and prayers for you and your Dad. You are such a blessing to your father and deep down inside, I bet he knows that. Make sure you take care of yourself too. If you wear yourself down, you can't help him as you want to.

Much love and strength to you, my friend.

 

[pampered1224]

Patiences is a virtue. It is also painful task! I know. When Pat got out of the hospital, it took 4 weeks of PT before he could get up and even go the bathroom without help. (He had a little jonny!) But he also lapsed into these weird non-cognative bouts where he lost memory for short periods of time. It was so frustrating! But, you and Ann helped me through it as did lots of prayers and a few tantrums outside, (God bless garbage cans!), and tears. It is scary. It is long. It takes too much time. But the hting that helped the most, even if I did not see it myself, were the positive words of his theropists. They see him at his best. You get the tired worn out version. Let their words be your gauge for his recoving. Sometimes the eyes decieve. Especially in timing. Luv you so much!! I am praying for your dad and I will pray for you for stength.

 

[Shawnna]

Still praying Linda. Hope things are looking up today. Keep your head up.

 

[pamperedlinda]

This weekend was mixed. Saturday was not a good day for my dad, he was very agitated and confused. Sunday was much better, he was calm, cooperative, and sorta cognizant. I'll go visit @ mid afternoon today. Whan I called this morning the nurse said he is off to a good start and on his way to therapy. We have a long road ahead of us, I just hope and pray that I will be able to take care of him in my home - as of now I cannot physically handle his needs - and that worries me and makes me sad.

 

[heat123]

Hugs and prayers Linda. <3

 

[crystalscookingnow]

Your family is in my prayers. Keep your chin up! Hugs!!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

This weekend was mixed. Saturday was not a good day for my dad, he was very agitated and confused. Sunday was much better, he was calm, cooperative, and sorta cognizant. I'll go visit @ mid afternoon today. Whan I called this morning the nurse said he is off to a good start and on his way to therapy. We have a long road ahead of us, I just hope and pray that I will be able to take care of him in my home - as of now I cannot physically handle his needs - and that worries me and makes me sad.

I'm so sorry you and your family are dealing with this, Linda - I'll continue to pray!

 

[pamperedpals]

Continuing to pray for you and your family, Linda.

 

[Shawnna]

bumping so everyone will remember to pray

 

[AJPratt]

Sending good thoughts your way!!!

 

[heat123]

Hope he has a good day today.

 

[Shawnna]

Still praying Linda. Hope things are looking up for you and your dad.

 

[pcchefjane]

Praying he is improving! HUGS!

 

[pamperedlinda]

There hasn't been much to update lately. I am still in West Palm Beach, dad is making minor improvements. It seems like for every 3 steps forward we take 2 steps back. It is very frustrating. His personality continues to shine through though and the things he says are hilarious! The hospital is working with me to move him closer to Atlanta so that I can go home to my family and take him with me. I refuse to leave until then. He is knowing me more and more often when I come to see him. Funny thing - so is the hospital! At this hospital you have to show ID and be entered into their system before you can visit anyone. When I arrived yesterday, the security guard had my my name badge already printed by the time I got to the desk....I have been here for too long!

 

[heat123]

Hugs, and good thoughts to get you home soon Linda!

 

[AJPratt]

I am glad he is making progress! Stay positive!

 

[TrishPCMommy]

I know it can be frustrating and saddening and it seems there is very little progress. I pray that God will take care of him and send additional angels not just to help him with his progress, but a few for you and your family too.

 

[pamperedlinda]

Update:

Today was a GREAT DAY!!!!! Dad was very alert, knew me the entire time I was there today, knew who he was and knew where he was. He also walked! they told me that he walked with just arm assistance for @ 50 feet today While I was there the nurse got him out of his wheelchair to get back in the bed and he stood on his own - in the past it took 2 nurses to pick him up and get him in the bed. I am very excited with today's progress, I hope it continues.

Thank you all for the support you have given me during this time. It has been difficult, but with all of your posts, pm's, emails and calls it has made it easier to deal with. I appreciate you!

 

[TrishPCMommy]

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Glad to hear the good news! I hope his progress continues!

 

[raebates]

What wonderful news!

 

[Nanisu]

Linda that is awesome news! Prayers are still coming!!!

 

[Shawnna]

This is wonderful news Linda. My church and family will continue to pray for a full recovery and that you both can go home soon.

 

[pamperedlinda]

This past week has been very emotional and frustrating for me. My dad started the week with wonderful progress, I was shocked when I saw him standing unassisted on Tuesday! Then it went downhill from there. Wed & Thur he was really out of it and very agitated. I was so upset on Thursday. (I don't like his doctor she isn't a people person and makes me feel like I'm annoying her when I ask questions about my dad - I even caught her rolling her eyes one day - grrr! and.... the case manager is new, she never has the answers to my questions, and I believe she is intimidated by the doctor.) I was about to have a breakdown on Thurs with all of the conflicting information I've been given and the non-answers so I went to the Assistant Director of the Rehab center - this lady is awesome and really got things moving for me. My dad has been accepted at a rehab that is only @ 20 mins from my house - I am going home next week and taking my dad with me!!!!! I'm very excited to go home to my family and resume my life. I think we will be leaving on Thursday. I've gort a lot of work to do in the coming days to get ready to go.

 

[chefann]

So glad you're getting him (and you) out of the hospital and back home! You really need to be able to trust and work with the caregivers, including doctors. And a doctor rolling their eyes at you is unacceptable, especially when you're just trying to get information about your dad's condition and prognosis.

 

[pamperedlinda]

..... And a doctor rolling their eyes at you is unacceptable, especially when you're just trying to get information about your dad's condition and prognosis.

she is a teeny tiny woman with a Napoleon complex - I can't wait to get my hospital survey I have a few comments for her! The nursing and PT staff are wonderful, she's a bi-atch....I wish a hospital stay on her or one of her loved ones one of these days (I don't mean that I want ill-will on her, she just needs a taste of her own medicine to bring her patient/family attitude into perspective.)

 

[heat123]

Oh Linda, that's great news!

 

[Jennie4PC]

Linda, I am so happy to hear that you and your dad will be going home.

 

[Shawnna]

so glad you are gong home. We will continue to pray.

 

[jwpamp]

Linda, congrats on his progress!!

Can I interject a little something, though? If you see a sudden change in mental status you may want to check what meds they may have changed for him prior to the incident. We saw a combative change in my mom after they began giving her an anti-anxiety drug. It is something that frequently happens in elderly patients.

Of course, he could have just been tired and cranky (think of them as reverting to a 3 year old's mentality -- that also happened to my mom).

All in all it seems that he is making good progress, so congrats to you!

 

[Lisa/ChefBear]

Linda,
I'm so happy for you and your dad.

I know what you mean with doctors, and I constantly remind my sister who's an ER nurse who knows her job very well how frustrating it was when I took our dad to ER and nurses were blaming me and giving me dirty looks for things my dad is doing, like not having a health care proxy or living will, and he smokes even though he's on O2.

I finally got mad at the snippy tone they were using with me and said.....I don't mean to be crass, but our your parents still living??? Do they do what you tell them to or even ask them too?? One nurse was shocked I "spoke back" and she's the one who was upset with the smoking. I finally said, Lady if you can get him to quit, you've got more power over him then our entire family........I've begged and pleaded since a child (now 41) for him to quit, my neices and nephews, and my own children have. He's been on patch but goes back. So you tell me HOW do I get him to stop?? She shut up really quick. Dad was glaring at me entire time, but I was PO'd. I'm under enough stress with dad in ER and then nurses were lecturing me.

Sorry to go off, but I can totally relate with doctor.

I'm so glad that you are going to be able to be home with your family and hopefully you'll know the doctors or if not, get really great ones close to home. Continuing to pray that things move as you are planning and that the move goes smoothly and your dad continues to make progress by leaps and bounds. (also, as someone else had mentioned, check his meds even time of dosing can change temperment)


Hugs,

Lisa

 

[pamperedlinda]

Janice - they have assured me that the the changes in his mental status are due to his brain injuries. He does have pretty sever brain trauma and it will take a long time for him to get better. They do not know how much he will regain, only time will tell if he will be 'normal' again. As of now dealing with him is like dealing with a mentally retarded person with physical limitations (please, don't get on my case for using that term anyone, I don't mean to offend, that's just the best way I can describe his situation)

Lisa - the nurses and physical therapists are awesome in this facility, it's the doctor who is difficult. She is on a vaca-weekend and the doctor who is standing in for her is wonderful!!!! He talked to me more sincerely and gave me more advice in 30 mins last night than she has in the past 3 weeks.

I am totally stressed and frustrated over getting my dad back to Atlanta. My original plan was to rent a mini-van or RV and drive him and hire a nurse or aide to go with me. That is going to be an all day affair

I am also fortunate enough to have access to pilots and airplanes (4-6 seaters) that can get him to my backyard (yes, I said my back-yard - I live in a fly-in/runway neighborhood), depending on the airplane we can be there w/in 3-4 hours. The problem with this is my dad's physical limitations and getting him into the plane will be a huge challenge. But, I'd much rather deal with a few hours of difficulty than all day.

However, I just found out that one of my friends has connections with an air-medivac charter service - I am looking into using them to fly my dad home too - that will be the best alternative. I also have connections to Angel Flight and am looking to see if one of them can fly us home. I thought about flying us commercial, but I think that dealing with the airport and security and the flight would stress me out way too much.

One thing that is for sure - I have learned that I am a much stronger person than I thought I was! I know that the Lord only gives us as much as we can handle, I just hope He gives me a breather soon :angel:

Thanks everyone for your concerns and support, it has meant so much to me.

 

[legacypc46]

Your post is making me cry. Terribly sad you are having to deal with this, but also happy-weepy that you are finally going to be able
to go home. Love you.

 

[jwpamp]

Linda, so very sorry that you and your dad are going thru this. Know that we are all praying for you and hopefully that will give you some strength when it seems that you can't take any more. I don't know your whole situation, but I do know that I was with my mom for her last 10 years when her mental status and her health failed. It was more than I could take at times, and lots of crying didn't make it go away -- but I was able to be there for her (even if she didn't know it sometimes). That made it all worthwhile.

And as you are there for your dad, just know that we are praying for your strength and good wishes are going your way.

 

[pampered1224]

Linda,
That is like total BS!!! I totally have to interject here about a comment you made. You ARE and always have been a strong person. You just never had to be for yourself before this to this extent. I recall only a year ago someone telling me what I needed to do and how to get it done and how to ask the right questions and what not.
Not only that, you made me feel so much better with the decisions I had already made. You pointed out that WE are all strong enough to handle anything if we let God help. However, I can very much understand the loss of "faculties" you felt. It is amazing how lost we get in our own minds when something like this happens. You were able to guide me through and I knew you would get through this. You are a hero dear. You did everything you needed and WANTED to do for your dad and for you. (We only do the things we really want to do. We always have a choice.) We may gripe about it, get very scared about it but ultimately it is still our choice. Even if you didn't think you could get through this, the rest of us did. And we all asked God for help for you too do so. You always knew you had it licked! You were strong enough to be God's tool kit, but vulnerable enough to let him. That is all the strength you ever needed. I keep praying that the time will come when you can relax again and enjoy YOUR life. In the mean time, gripe, swear if you must, God forgives that too, but don't run or give up. Angels walk our earth everyday. Right now, you are your dad's. He needs you and yes, it is a pain in the arse!!! But guess what? The rewards will so out weigh anything that has happened or will happen. So, again, I am still praying for my angel and her dad

 

[pamperedlinda]

Linda,
That is like total BS!!! I totally have to interject here about a comment you made. You ARE and always have been a strong person. You just never had to be for yourself before this to this extent. I recall only a year ago someone telling me what I needed to do and how to get it done and how to ask the right questions and what not.
Not only that, you made me feel so much better with the decisions I had already made. You pointed out that WE are all strong enough to handle anything if we let God help. However, I can very much understand the loss of "faculties" you felt. It is amazing how lost we get in our own minds when something like this happens. You were able to guide me through and I knew you would get through this. You are a hero dear. You did everything you needed and WANTED to do for your dad and for you. (We only do the things we really want to do. We always have a choice.) We may gripe about it, get very scared about it but ultimately it is still our choice. Even if you didn't think you could get through this, the rest of us did. And we all asked God for help for you too do so. You always knew you had it licked! You were strong enough to be God's tool kit, but vulnerable enough to let him. That is all the strength you ever needed. I keep praying that the time will come when you can relax again and enjoy YOUR life. In the mean time, gripe, swear if you must, God forgives that too, but don't run or give up. Angels walk our earth everyday. Right now, you are your dad's. He needs you and yes, it is a pain in the arse!!! But guess what? The rewards will so out weigh anything that has happened or will happen. So, again, I am still praying for my angel and her dad

John - thanks, you made me smile. I love you boyfriend!

 

[pcchefjane]

So glad to hear you can get him home soon! It's so wonderful you have connections that will help you get there quickly and with the least amount of stress as well! Praying all goes well for you! Sorry you have had such a lousy dr but glad that you got the "sub" who did a better job!

 

[Jean DeVries]

Hey Linda!

Good to hear you'll get to go home.

However, speaking as one who has experience with crapola doctors, may I offer some advice?

Don't wait for the hospital survey.

That beeotch reports to someone. That's the person you need to find, and speak with. You can provide specific examples now, while you're still close to the situation, rather than vague survey-like responses later when you've forgotten.

No one should have to deal with poor service anywhere, least of all at medical facilities.