Join Married for Life with Winning at Home - Sign Up Now!

[JAE]

I just wanted to throw this out there for those of you who want to show your committment to stay married for life. Go to http://www.winningathome.com/m4l/index.php, and you can sign up and be part of the 1 million married 4 lifer's. The organization sponsoring this is Winning at Home . I don't think a million people have signed up, yet, but maybe we can help them reach their goal. It's free and you'll get a weekly e-mail if you want.

 

[BethCooks4U]

Thanks for sharing!!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

You should send that link to Eliot and Silda Wall Spitzer.

 

[SilverCeladon]

married

You should send that link to Eliot and Silda Wall Spitzer.

Ha ha! I second that!

 

[daniellemorgan]

You should send that link to Eliot and Silda Wall Spitzer.

He just resigned, so now she should leave his cheating a$$!

 

[MissChef]

Thanks for sharing Jae, I just signed up, this is a passion for me! I hate the divorce rate in this country and I'm so tired of hearing my kids come home and tell me about another one of their friends that just announced that their parents are getting divorced!:grumpy: (not tired of the kids talking to me, just tired of hearing about divorce, just thought I'd clarify that!LOL! )
Sometimes divorce in necessary, my Mom and Dad divorced and it was very necessary because he was an alcoholic that would not change and he was pretty crazy too! He use to physically and mentally abuse my Mom and it was starting to happen with my teenage sister, and it would have moved on to me next, but she left him when I was 10. And I supported her every step of the way and she married my stepdad and that was good and she is still married to him for over 25 years now! Thank God for him or I might have had a wacked out way of looking at men and love!!!
What I'm talking about is people that think divorce is the only answer and refuse to work it out. Counseling works and for me, God works :angel: and so we put Him at the head or our relationship and because of that He stays in our marriage and guides our way. No!~ My marriage is not perfect!!! In fact, the last few days, we have just seemed to be going through the motions, but right before I came on here today, I typed him an e-mail letting him know I loved him and that I thank God for him and our kids everyday! :love: I hope that helps him have a good day at work!
Sometimes, love means taking a slice of humble pie and realiziing I'm not the only one that matters and that maybe he's going through difficult times too and I just need to be nice and not take things personally!:blushing:
Anyway, how appropriate that this thread was on here! Thanks for sharing!

 

[ted122781]

I just signed up. I feel the same way as you, Cathy. The divorce rate is ridiculous! It's like they're not even trying. My mother in law is one of those. She's on her 7th marriage, and her longest one of her marriages has lasted is 4 years! What's the point? I completely understand how divorce is necessary. My best friend is going through one as well, but her husband is physically abusive. I support that. I think too many people are getting married on a whim and not thinking about the big picture. My marriage isn't perfect. We're actually in a rough patch right now, but we're both confident that we'll pull through. We're a team. Sometimes it's 50/50, while others it's 30/70, but we're working hard at it.

Okay, sorry for the rant. It's an issue that bothers me.

 

[PamperedDor]

Signing up!! I've been Married 20 1/2 WONDERFUL years and look forward to another 70 God willing!!

 

[SusanBP0129]

:thumbup:

You should send that link to Eliot and Silda Wall Spitzer.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[KellyTheChef]

Thanks for the link! Marriage is a COVENENT (bound till death) that God only very seldom makes exceptions for! Thank you for the reminder...

 

[janetupnorth]

Signing up!! I've been Married 20 1/2 WONDERFUL years and look forward to another 70 God willing!!

Wow! You do not look old enough to be married 20 years!!!!

Congratulations!

 

[janetupnorth]

Thanks for the link! Marriage is a COVENENT (bound till death) that God only very seldom makes exceptions for! Thank you for the reminder...

Kelly - if I can ever get my wedding video off VHS and on to DVD, I'd LOVE to share the sermon in my wedding, it was on this topic and great!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Wow! You do not look old enough to be married 20 years!!!!

Congratulations!

I think Doreen must have married when she was about 10!

 

[janetupnorth]

I think Doreen must have married when she was about 10!

I just looked at her profile - she is 42, so married at 22 isn't unusual at all, but Doreen you don't look a day over 30 much less 42!!!!

 

[PCJen]

Thanks for sharing Jae, I just signed up, this is a passion for me! I hate the divorce rate in this country and I'm so tired of hearing my kids come home and tell me about another one of their friends that just announced that their parents are getting divorced! (not tired of the kids talking to me, just tired of hearing about divorce, just thought I'd clarify that!
Sometimes divorce in necessary, my Mom and Dad divorced and it was very necessary because he was an alcoholic that would not change and he was pretty crazy too! He use to physically and mentally abuse my Mom and it was starting to happen with my teenage sister, and it would have moved on to me next, but she left him when I was 10. And I supported her every step of the way and she married my stepdad and that was good and she is still married to him for over 25 years now! Thank God for him or I might have had a wacked out way of looking at men and love!!!
What I'm talking about is people that think divorce is the only answer and refuse to work it out. Counseling works and for me, God works and so we put Him at the head or our relationship and because of that He stays in our marriage and guides our way. No!~ My marriage is not perfect!!! In fact, the last few days, we have just seemed to be going through the motions, but right before I came on here today, I typed him an e-mail letting him know I loved him and that I thank God for him and our kids everyday! I hope that helps him have a good day at work!
Sometimes, love means taking a slice of humble pie and realiziing I'm not the only one that matters and that maybe he's going through difficult times too and I just need to be nice and not take things personally!
Anyway, how appropriate that this thread was on here! Thanks for sharing!

I'm right with you on this Cathy!

I too have an alcoholic father. He isn't physically abusive but is mentally with my mom. He says he loves her but keeps doing what he is doing. He has gotten a bit better over the years with the stupided things he would always say but still just doesn’t seem to understand how he has hurt his family with his drinking. Everything is always everyone’s fault not his. Yes, they are still married. Should they be, NO! I am not one to believe in divorce but my mom would have been lot happier without dealing with this every day. Before I got married I had a long talk with my husband about what I would not live with. If he ever did what my dad had done to my family I would be gone. I was not going to live with this type of thing for the rest of my life, 21 years was enough. Well, enough of this...it really gets to me still:cry:

I have been happily married to my wonderful loving husband for 14 years and we have 2 wonderful kids.:love: Do things get tough, yep. But we work together. We are now working on starting our own framing subcontracting business due to his recent lay off. It's been very stressful on both of us since we didn't see this coming and we just built a new home and moved in in Oct. With a lot of prayers I think our business is on the start. Extra prayers are welcome please:angel: . It is still very scary but we have really leaned on each other and I know we will get through this together.:love:

Just signed up too!

 

[Christ Follower]

Thanks for the link! I will be sharing this at our couples study this Sunday night!

 

[pampchefrhondab]

I'll check it out - thank you! My husband and I have been married 20 1/2 years as well. What is your wedding date Doreen?

P.S. We started dating when we were 15!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

I've been married 17½ years.

 

[raebates]

Thanks for the link. As soon as my slow dial-up connects me to the site, I'll sign up. The Furry Guy and I will celebrate 23 years together on March 30. I once told him that being married to me wouldn't always be fun, but it would never be dull. He says I didn't lie. I often think it's too easy to divorce. I like what Dr. Phil says--you should be able to tell those who ask that you did everything possible to keep your marriage alive. (Abuse of any kind (substance, physical, emotional, etc.) is a deal-breaker, of course.)

 

[janetupnorth]

I've been married 17½ years.

Ok, is that total or this round?

A guy at work always INSISTS on clarifying that he's been married 20 years but only 9 to this wife.

We have friends who were married, divorced for 5 years then got back together. They've been married about 30 years total (to each other).

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Total.The Kat Lady has only been married 7½ years.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

You should send that link to Eliot and Silda Wall Spitzer.

Now there is one messed up marriage! I'm amazed she even stands next to that creep after 10 years of hookers on the side! I told my husband I would weed whack off any part of his body that ever touches another woman (aside from the obligatory hugs to aging family members, and hugs for his kids, etc...) and if he ever got a hooker- well.... I can't type that here for it would be used as evidence against me at my trial!

Wow, I must have had some pent up frustration in me....that felt good!:yuck:

 

[Kitchen Diva]

I just signed up. I feel the same way as you, Cathy. The divorce rate is ridiculous! It's like they're not even trying. My mother in law is one of those. She's on her 7th marriage, and her longest one of her marriages has lasted is 4 years! What's the point? I completely understand how divorce is necessary. My best friend is going through one as well, but her husband is physically abusive. I support that. I think too many people are getting married on a whim and not thinking about the big picture. My marriage isn't perfect. We're actually in a rough patch right now, but we're both confident that we'll pull through. We're a team. Sometimes it's 50/50, while others it's 30/70, but we're working hard at it.

Okay, sorry for the rant. It's an issue that bothers me.

I always giggle when I see people say marriage is 50/50. It should be 100/100 with each person putting in 100%. If my husband said he was only going to give 50% towards making our marriage work, I'd have to use 100% of a cast iron skillet on his head!

I agree with Cathy, and will run to this site to sign up. Chubby Hubby and I have been married for 12 years, and we've been together for 15+ years. We are just on the upside of a 3 year rough patch, but with God's grace and guidance we will be victorious!

Glad to see so many peopel here are willing to stick it out regardless of how great or not so great it can be at times!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

I just wanted to throw this out there for those of you who want to show your committment to stay married for life. Go to http://www.winningathome.com/m4l/index.php, and you can sign up and be part of the 1 million married 4 lifer's. The organization sponsoring this is Winning at Home . I don't think a million people have signed up, yet, but maybe we can help them reach their goal. It's free and you'll get a weekly e-mail if you want.

I drank the kool-aid and signed up! I wonder if we'll get matching T-shirts?

 

[Jean DeVries]

I've been married.....um.

Well, I'm not married.

I'd settle for married for a day at this point.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

We're a team. Sometimes it's 50/50, while others it's 30/70, but we're working hard at it.

Okay, sorry for the rant. It's an issue that bothers me.

I just realized, HUGE APOLOGIES to you if I sounded snooty in my former post regarding the above sentence. I in NO way meant to sound like a snot! I know what people mean when they say 50/50 as it does equal 100%... so I hope that you didn't take my post (which was written with a smile, while chuckling) the wrong way. I just needed to clarify that I wasn't trying to be a jerk.

:blushing: (I'm actually very sweet and cuddly!) Like Nermal the cat from the Garfield cartoon strip)

 

[pampchefrhondab]

I've been married 17½ years.

I was going to say, "To the same women?" But you beat me to the answer!

My Grandfather used to always say, "I've been married 50 years - to the same women!" I never got itwhen I was a kid!

 

[KellyTheChef]

Kelly - if I can ever get my wedding video off VHS and on to DVD, I'd LOVE to share the sermon in my wedding, it was on this topic and great!

I would love that!

My brother and SIL had an alter call during their wedding! Sounds a bit strange, but it was beautiful. They wanted everyone there to know where their focus/hearts were!

BTW- when my Mom died my brother and I wanted something similar at her funeral. We wanted all of the good she did in her life to MEAN something. Making sure that EVERYONE THERE understood WHERE she was now (heaven) and how God was the only reason he and I weren't basketcases during that time. We had a wonderful pastor (who was our neighbor growing up) do the sermon. He asked what we wanted and all we told him is that we wanted to be sure that everyone knew after hearing him speak what they needed to do in order to "get right" with the Lord.

I am sure your wedding was just as powerful, and I would love to hear it!

 

[pamperedtara]

Just joined! Thanks for the site! We have been married 11 years & together almost 15. As with everyone else, there have been some rough patches along the way, but God used those to strengthen the relationship that we have now.

We attended a marriage conference one year, and one of the speakers said "The best gift you can ever give your children is the example of a healthy marriage." That has really stuck with both of us!

 

[KellyTheChef]

Last month at my MOPS meeting we had a lady speak on keeping our marriages healthy and our husbands happy. One thing that she said that stuck in my head (and has been helping me to be a happier person to live with) is this: WHAT WILL MY DH LOOK LIKE IN FIVE YEARS WITH A STEADY DIET OF ME? Wow. That hit me dead on. I am soooooooooo understanding and loving towards so many people, but towards my DH and my kids I can be a real PITA. God is helping me to work on that!

 

[JAE]

Wow, everyone! I actually forgot I started this thread, today. I'm so excited that so many of you signed up on the site. Pass it on to your friends.

There was a time when I would have never signed a pledge like that, but about five years ago, I realized it was the best plan for us. We've been married 15 1/2 years....to each other, I might add.

 

[Pampered Laura]

Been with my husband since I was 15...married at 17... and I just turned 31. I've been with him for more than half my life. We're celebrating our 14th wedding anniversary in May of this year.
:love: :love: :love: :love:

 

[chefjeanine]

Today is the 22nd annniversary of the day I met my DH!! We will be married 19 years in October.

 

[PamperedDor]

Wow! You do not look old enough to be married 20 years!!!!

Congratulations!

AWWW thanks!! :blushing:

 

[PamperedDor]

I think Doreen must have married when she was about 10!

Funny - I actually got married 6 days before my 22nd birthday!! Now, as a mother of an almost 19 year old daughter - I ask myself - 1. what was I thinking?? 2. WHAT was my mother nuts?? (fyi, I was a "good" kid - I just didn't get caught! ) 3. If I could do it all over again would I?? (answer: Absolutely!! )

Thanks for all those nice comments too - I feel like a million bucks now!! You have made my day ladies!!!

 

[ted122781]

I just realized, HUGE APOLOGIES to you if I sounded snooty in my former post regarding the above sentence. I in NO way meant to sound like a snot! I know what people mean when they say 50/50 as it does equal 100%... so I hope that you didn't take my post (which was written with a smile, while chuckling) the wrong way. I just needed to clarify that I wasn't trying to be a jerk.

:blushing: (I'm actually very sweet and cuddly!) Like Nermal the cat from the Garfield cartoon strip)

No offense taken. I completely understood what you were saying.

 

[PamperedDor]

I'll check it out - thank you! My husband and I have been married 20 1/2 years as well. What is your wedding date Doreen?

P.S. We started dating when we were 15!

Wedding date is September 5, 1987 - And we had a HUGE luau in our backyard to celebrate the big 20!! Thinking about doing a Mexican Fiesta this year - (whatcha think Colleen?? LOL!!)

We started dating literally the day after my husband arrived in USA from his native Ireland - August 22, 1984. One of those - love at first sight stories - and it only gets better year after year - I only wish my kids will be as fortunate to find a man as wonderful as their father and the happiness we have been blessed with!

 

[PamperedDor]

Today is the 22nd annniversary of the day I met my DH!! We will be married 19 years in October.

Happy Anniversary!!! MANY MANY more!!!

 

[crystalscookingnow]

I signed up too. My DH & I have been married 4 years 01/01/04. While we have both been through divorces, we know that this one's gonna last.

I was married to my ex for 6 1/2 years. My mom had been married 3 times & I swore up & down that wasn't going to be me. Then I came to the realization of how mentally abusive my ex was to me. I could handle it (shouldn't have to, but I was willing as to not get divorced). But once we had Emily, I KNEW that she could not have him as her only male role model. His dad was just like him & treated his mom like a piece of dirt. I didn't want my baby girl growing up to marry someone just like her dad.

Now she has an amazing role model in my DH. He loves her just like his own. I can only hope & pray that she meets someone as wonderful as he is.

Anyway, we're lifers!

 

[chefshawna]

I think a lot of people go into marriage thinking, "Oh, well, if it doesn't work out there's always divorce". I think this is horrible!! If you go into a marriage thinking that, then you obviously shouldn't be getting married! I have a sister that has been married 3 times and she just turned 35. She stays with each man about 5 years and then gets rid of them. She has many, many issues!!
I have been married for 3 years and it has been wonderful. We argue and yell at times and then we kiss and make up. I really believe that to have a truly happy marriage you HAVE to disagree at times. I hate it when I hear people say "We never argue". Because I know that means they either don't ever talk or they're lying. But I also know that some situations do call for divorce and at those times I don't condemn it at all!

 

[PamperedDor]

I think a lot of people go into marriage thinking, "Oh, well, if it doesn't work out there's always divorce". I think this is horrible!! If you go into a marriage thinking that, then you obviously shouldn't be getting married! I have a sister that has been married 3 times and she just turned 35. She stays with each man about 5 years and then gets rid of them. She has many, many issues!!
I have been married for 3 years and it has been wonderful. We argue and yell at times and then we kiss and make up. I really believe that to have a truly happy marriage you HAVE to disagree at times. I hate it when I hear people say "We never argue". Because I know that means they either don't ever talk or they're lying. But I also know that some situations do call for divorce and at those times I don't condemn it at all!

Very true - the secret to a happy marriage is acceptance - accept that others have the right to their own opinion and that you don't have to necessary agree, but you chose to accept that people are different and not all the same - While my husband and I rarely fight, we do disagree AND make a point of letting our kids see that - I think it is healthy for them to see that life isn't always perfect, that adults can disagree yet still be civil to each other and respect that others have differences. (can you tell I came from a disfunctional home?? LOL)

We wont even mention that making up is the best part of arguing!!

 

[MissChef]

Very true - the secret to a happy marriage is acceptance - accept that others have the right to their own opinion and that you don't have to necessary agree, but you chose to accept that people are different and not all the same - While my husband and I rarely fight, we do disagree AND make a point of letting our kids see that - I think it is healthy for them to see that life isn't always perfect, that adults can disagree yet still be civil to each other and respect that others have differences. (can you tell I came from a disfunctional home?? LOL)

We wont even mention that making up is the best part of arguing!!

oh yeah! you got that right!!! The very best part!
It's nice to see so many people on this board, try so hard at their marriages... it's refreshing! It makes me happy to be a part of this community!
I have read 2 books by the same author and they helped me tremendously, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands & The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage written by Dr. Laura. And they were fabulous! It's amazing how good and healthy your marriage can be when you put the other person first and not think that "it's all about me". I've noticed that when I am good to my husband and really put his needs first, then it truely is better for me too, because it makes me feel good to be good to him and because he in turn wantsto be good to me!
Keith (my DH) and I don't fight like we use, and I'll tell you what, in the beginning we had some rough times! But we disagree quite a bit! And we are polar opposites. I'm really outgoing, social, sometimes loud :blushing: and I have a short fuse! My hubby is a home body, rather just observe then be part of the crowd, quiet and patient.... we round each other out and God knew what he was doing when He put us together!:angel:
And on the subject of argueing, when we start to, we can't help but smile, I told him the other day that we don't even know how to argue anymore, without smirking and giggling! Oh!~ we know how to disagree, immensily! But we know how to respect that and we also know how to agree to disagree, and when we feel beside ourselves with each other, we give it to God and move on!
I'm really proud of my husband and I because we do try so hard, and I'm the first woman in my family in 3 generations not to have gone through a divorce and I never will, because I know that that is not in God's plan and it is His will for us to happy together!

 

[PamperedDor]

Cathy - all I can say is ............... Amen, sista!!! LOL

 

[PamperedDor]

bumping cause its such a nicer subject then the bashing on the other thread!!

 

[JAE]

Oh, thanks, for bumping this thread. I was happy to see it in the forefront because I'd love for Winning at Home to get their 1,000,000 pledges.

And, I agree with the post about accepting your spouse. I had felt so much disappointment and I'm sure my dh did too. I wouldn't give it up for a long time. When I finally decided to focus on the positive and the good in him and in life, I was able to move past the disappointment and live in reality. I could stop wishing for it to be over and stop looking for a way out. Then I could truly be committed for life.

 

[PamperedDor]

Your welcome -

Oh, I am glad you made the "change" - hopefully others will to and those who are getting ready to commit will look at the real picture and not just the one that is in front of them at the moment. Life will always throw you curve balls and you might strike out but its how you played and enjoyed the game that counts - so when Life hands you limes - grab some tequila and make a margarita!!

 

[ahammons]

Thanks for posting. I just joined, I think it's really great! DH and I have been married 4 1/2 years. The past 7 months have been really tough. I hate to admit it, but we were considering divorce. I guess being away from each other started the problems, but it also helped us see that we want this marriage to work - and we will! We both come from homes of divorce and don't want our kids to go through what we did. DH actually just went back to Korea yesterday (he was home on mid-tour) so we've only got 4 months left until we move to our next base - together! We had a great month and fell in love with each other all over again. :love:

 

[bsaxman]

Ok... so i just signed up for Married for life... and then I get an email about some package being sent to me in the mail... hmm... what exactly did I sign up for? lol. Maybe I should go back and read what I just got myself into

 

[janetupnorth]

Ok... so i just signed up for Married for life... and then I get an email about some package being sent to me in the mail... hmm... what exactly did I sign up for? lol. Maybe I should go back and read what I just got myself into

Yeah, what did you do? I never got an e-mail about a package in the mail.

 

[JAE]

I don't remember if I received a package. I may be on the mailing list, but I'm forgiving of this place because most of the people who work there, I know personally. They go to my church, they've taught my Sunday school classes, I've taught their kids in P.E. at school or coached them in volleyball. It's hard to get too irritated with that. It's for a good cause, and the paper recycles. But I think I may have only ever received one thing in the mail.