Seeking Prayers and Strength for Chronic Pain Relief | Personal Story

[janetupnorth]

Sigh.

Unfortunately, I haven't. It's actually been depressing me for quite a while. I find myself constantly looking at other people and wondering what they have that I don't. I'm a nice person (believe it or not), have a good job (for now, until they fire me for, well, not being a nice person), I'm extremely loyal, very protective, I clean, and I make a mean gin float. I just can't get past being fat & homely. Apparently there's not a colony of men somewhere looking for fat & homely women.

(And seriously, DON"T TELL ME THERE ARE, because then I'll really have to wonder what the hell is wrong with me

Sometimes I tell myself that I don't lose weight because I don't want to find out that it's not because I'm fat that I'm repulsive to the opposite gender...I don't want to find out it's like my personality.

Not to go off on a depressing tangent, but it's been really hard for me lately. I think it's moving into a soccer mom house in a soccer mom neighborhood. I drove through some other neighborhood the other day to deliver some Girl Scout stuff and busted out crying.

But no, if I had someone, I would definitely want them to keep all of their nuts. Not that I'd know what to do with them....




sorry to be such a downer. I had a bad week at work. This guy I work with, who I should have fired when he reported to me but didn't because I'm a nice person and felt bad for him, sent me this whole email about how I have no tact and people don't like me. I was all like, "well, screw you dumba**." Honestly, how could he say that????

Jean - you haven't found someone because someone hasn't come around that deserves you!

Don't knock yourself. My cousin, who was once thin and pretty but isn't right now and is still facing many similar medical problems to you (no, they can't figure her out either!!!!) is getting married this year finally at age 42. She met future DH about 1 year ago.

I always told her the same thing and it took awhile to believe her worth too! She is smart, kind, funny, a servant's heart. I told her she didn't have a husband because she kept running into jerks that didn't deserve all she had to offer.

Someday there will be a guy, and if that isn't God's plan, he will use you where you are and make you content with yourself and your life.

I have a great poem for you...let me go find it...

 

[janetupnorth]

Until Then - Author Unknown"I love you my child, and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me—exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me expecting the greatest things. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must wait.Don’t be anxious and don’t worry. Don’t look around at the things you think you want. Just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you’ll miss what I have to show you.And then, when you are ready, I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would ever dream. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready, I am working this minute to have both of you ready at the same time. And until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I’ve prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and this is Perfect Love.And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with Myself. Know I love you. I am God Almighty, believe and be satisfied… "

 

[raebates]

Hey, Jean, glad everything came out okay!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Hi there Jean. I wanted to check in and see how you are doing. How are you doing? How's the plumbing? How is work? How are you feeling? What's new?

I'm here if you ever want to talk about not having a sweetie- I'll lend you my ear and you can lend me yours while I vent over not being a mother after trying for 12 years.

Anyway, you were on my mind. Hope all is well!

 

[Jean DeVries]

Hey there!

Thanks for asking. The last two days have been really bad.....pain that very thoughtlessly wakes me up in the middle of the night. I'm exhausted.

I took an extra-strength Vicodin (gawd how I love my gyn) at 1 am, and it didn't even touch the pain until about 4. I had a Girl Scout bridging ceremony today, so I took a Darvocet before that because I didn't want to take another Vicodin and have the little cherubs thinking their leader was smoking Thin Mints.

I did go to the GYN last week and got the story straight from the horse's mouth. It was pretty funny because her office is completely paperless...no charts, nothin'. It's all computerized. So she went to draw me a pic of what my parts look like and she was like, "Um. Do you have a pen?" She doesn't even carry a pen around! Then she drew me a picture on paper towel from the dispenser in the room.

So anywhoo, the whole time she's drawing me the picture of my uterus & fallopian tubes (which have those finger-y like thingies on the end of them) all I can think of is that smily face graphic that people use on this site...the one with the arms, that have the finger thingies on the end of them. I don't know where people get them, so I can't duplicate it here. But, essentially, my fallopian tube stuck itself to my uterus. Had we discussed removal of unnecessary organs prior to the surgery, she would have just taken out the fallopian tube and the ovary. But since we didn't, and since she couldn't get those fingerlike thingies unstuck without ripping them apart, she left them there. Hence the pain.

So, sometime in the next month or so I'll go back and have those taken out for good. No biggie. There's a girl I work with who is about to give birth so I have to time it around that, but then again, I also have to time it soon in the event that I become unemployed and no longer insured

Otherwise I'm fine. I hate yardwork, starlings, and brussel sprouts, but I really don't have much to complain about compared to others.

Thanks for asking!

 

[JAE]

Glad your doc found where the pain is coming from. Hope you can get it worked on soon and that you don't lose insurance. We don't have complete coverage, so I understand that scariness. We have a Health Savings Account and pretty much pay for everything out of that. I'm afraid to go to the doctor because I don't want to find out what is wrong because I don't want to pay to get it fixed. Right now it's just skin issues, but the derm is sooo expensive. I'm going to my yearly next week, and hopefully she can give me some help for non-gyn things.

I love my single friends, BTW. They are fun to hang out with when my dh has no interest in socializing, which is almost always. Or dh is just working a lot, so I need my single friends who are more available for fun. I know that doesn't help the single friends find men, but after they listen to me vent about my at home issues, they may like their single life better! JK

Also, BTW, prune juice works great to get your inner juices flowing.

 

[raebates]

Glad to know you at least have an answer for why you're in pain. Be sure to let us know when the surgery's scheduled. We'll want to be in prayer for you.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Thanks for the update, Jean! I'm sorry your finger-like thingies are sticking to something they shouldn't be, and truly hope this next surgery will be the LAST!