Urgent Pray for My Buddy: Update on Her Ovarian Cancer Journey

[candiejayne]

LOL! They'll just think I'm weird just like my mom. It's nothing new. My mom is 51 and recently put neon pink highlights in her hair.

I still admire you though on the way you have the strength. Not that I want a next time, I'm going to try my hardest to be strong and do what I should have done before. I knew hero wasn't the right word when I typed it before, but I was very emotional and that was all I could think. I do think I am going to do something I haven't done in a long while. I'm going to go to the cemetery tomorrow and take my grandpa a valentine. It's been over a year since I've been there. I think it's time again.

 

[Karen]

Hi Rae,

I just wanted to let you know that I've been following this thread from the beginning. I'm not sure if you remember me not, but I was one (of the group) that had breakfast the first morning of NC this past July. I don't post here often, but I do check it out through out the day.

I still remember how much positive energy you had and that's what I think about everytime I see your posts. You have a way of making everyone smile and feel "happy" inside and out. This energy I'm sure is transferred to all of your friends and family, including during the hard times and long days with your close friend.

I admire you for the strength that you have. You and your friends/family are in our prayers.

 

[Gina M]

Thinking about you and your friend Rae - praying for her through this extremely hard time. Having lost a friend just before Christmas to cancer - I know how hard that is. I'm glad you've had so much time together - I'm sure you will treasure that in the days to come.

 

[raebates]

Wow, you guys are making me cry--not that it's that difficult.Karen, I do remember you. I think often about how much fun we all had at that breakfast.

 

[raebates]

The poor thing now has shingles. She had a patch of red on her neck the other day. Her sister thought maybe it was just from bedding or clothing rubbing on her. Guess it wasn't. I haven't gone over for the past couple of days. I know that the weekend is usually one long steady stream of visitors, and I want to give everyone a chance to spend time with her. I'll go back tomorrow morning.

 

[raebates]

Beth is no longer responsive. They've switched from dressing her in cute lounge wear to a hospital gown for ease, since she can no longer assist with dressing herself. It's hard to connect the woman in the bed with the vivacious gal who's gotten me in so much trouble. I keep thinking of people that know and love Beth but may not be in the loop. I'm trying to contact each of them to let them know about Beth's current state. My fear is that someone who loves her will find out that her health took a turn for the worse by seeing her obituary. I know I'd hate to find out that way about someone I cared for.

 

[candiejayne]

I'm so sorry Rae. I only hope that she can not feel any pain right now. I've said it before, but I mean it. You are a GREAT friend. I'm sure it's hard contacting everyone with the news on her.

I thought of you guys today. I was driving down the interstate and pulled off on the side of the road were 2 pig butt trucks.

 

[AnnieBee]

I'm so sorry Rae. I only hope that she can not feel any pain right now. I've said it before, but I mean it. You are a GREAT friend. I'm sure it's hard contacting everyone with the news on her.

Ditto Andrea...

 

[pamperedbybarbara]

Rae, I have been praying for you and your friend since I first saw this thread and now more than ever all I can think of is that everyone should have a friend as good as you are!!

 

[tlag1986]

Rae, I understand where you are coming from with how she is progressing. As a nurse many times it is difficult to see younger people pass on. On the other hand people that have led full and productive lives seems easier. I will continue to pray for you and Beth.

 

[raebates]

Thanks so much. I talked with her mom and her sister separately today. I plan to visit for a little while each day. However, it occurred to me that this is an intensely private time for Beth's family. I don't want to intrude. I made both of them promise me that they will let me know if they're just overwhelmed on any particular day and don't want me there. I promised them that they wouldn't hurt my feelings or offend me. They're limiting visits to family and just a handful of really close friends.

 

[tlag1986]

It has only been 4 1/2 years since my Dad died from Lung, Bone, and Colon Cancer. It was only a short period of time that we even found out he had cancer. His diagnosis was June 4th and death on August 2 of 2004.I have had a great difficulty being a good nurse since then with anyone that has had a new diagnosis of cancer. It has been a blessing that I was unable to work due to Charcot-Marie-Tooth and Fibromyalgia.With our family we put everything off until the last if possible, and that meant some of my family still needed to make amends for their actions as teens. I was the favored one and was the one who was there every step of the way.When my father was confined to a hospital bed on Wednesday I stayed with him and my mother until his death on Monday. I have to admit I have difficulty when cancer patients become unresponsive, due to my father. I am glad I was there and was able to do all the calling and all the planning for my mother when dad passed. It did cause me to push my grieving until a year later when my MIL passed.I wish you the comfort and blessings needed during this difficult time.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Thanks so much.

I talked with her mom and her sister separately today. I plan to visit for a little while each day. However, it occurred to me that this is an intensely private time for Beth's family. I don't want to intrude. I made both of them promise me that they will let me know if they're just overwhelmed on any particular day and don't want me there. I promised them that they wouldn't hurt my feelings or offend me.

They're limiting visits to family and just a handful of really close friends.

When I was walking through this with my friend Michelle, her family seemed to welcome those of us who were Michelle's best friends. They wanted Michelle to have as much love surrounding her as possible.
What I would do is try to bring things with me that they might need. I'd ask each day what I could bring with me the next. Soup, TP, coffee, milk....just simple things that kept them from having to make unnecessary trips out.
It was such a hard time - Michelle knew she was at peace with God - but saying good-bye, even for a short while, is difficult.
I will continue to pray, Rae.

 

[raebates]

Thank you both.Becky, that was pretty much the response I got from Beth's family. I know their kitchen is packed with enough food to keep them going for several weeks. I usually check to see if they need bread, milk, butter, eggs, etc. So far there hasn't been anything. Her mom and sister have been making the occasional run to town for necessities as a way to take a much-needed little break. It's a small house, and it's not really possible to get any distance from everyone else. When you're there, you're right there. I knew before I asked that the response would probably be--that they welcomed me as one of a handful of very close friends who Beth considers family. I just wanted them to know that if they became overwhelmed, offending me or hurting my feelings should never be a concern.The sweet thing is that each of them has expressed a concern for the others. "You know, I'm fine, but I'm really worried about ___________." Mom, sis, and brother have all said almost the exact same words.

 

[raebates]

At about 4:40 this afternoon my sweet Pig Butt Buddy walked (or, knowing her, skipped) into the arms of her loving Savior. My life is only one of many that will be diminished by her absence.I appreciate your continued prayers for her family in the days and weeks ahead.

 

[pamperedpals]

Rae I am so sorry for your loss. I will pray for you and her family.

I am glad that you were able to spend time with her and embrace her in your love in her final days.

 

[janetupnorth]

At about 4:40 this afternoon my sweet Pig Butt Buddy walked (or, knowing her, skipped) into the arms of her loving Savior. My life is only one of many that will be diminished by her absence.

I appreciate your continued prayers for her family in the days and weeks ahead.

Oh Rae - HUGS!

I know you didn't really expect it today!


God Only Takes the Best

God saw that you were tired, and a cure was not to be.

So he put his arms around you, and whispered “Come To Me.”

With tearful eyes we watched you,
And saw you pass away.
Although we love you dearly,
We could not make you stay.

A golden heart stopped beating,
Hard working hands at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us,
He only takes the best.

Author Unknown.

 

[whiteyteresa]

She is in the sweetest place there is

Prayers going your way and to her family

:angel:

 

[AnnieBee]

Oh Rae, hugs to you... I know you know she is in a better place, but that doesn't mean you won't miss her terribly. I'm so sorry for your loss and will pray for you and her family and other friends.

 

[raebates]

Thanks. Actually, Janet, after my visit this morning I did expect to hear the news today or tomorrow. She had frequent periods when she stopped breathing. The end was clearly near.I told a mutual friend that reminded me she'll be waiting to see me some day that she'll probably say, "Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, I beat you!"

 

[BlessedWifeMommy]

I'm continuing to pray...

 

[pamperedlinda]

So sorry for your loss Rae.

 

[candiejayne]

Just always remember the pigbutts! Everytime you see one now, you'll know she's laughing right along side you! (((HUGS)))

 

[Gina M]

Oh Rae - I'm so sorry for your loss - may you find strength and comfort in the upcoming difficult days.

 

[Ann F]

Rae,
I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[Crystal Patton]

Thanks. Actually, Janet, after my visit this morning I did expect to hear the news today or tomorrow. She had frequent periods when she stopped breathing. The end was clearly near.

I told a mutual friend that reminded me she'll be waiting to see me some day that she'll probably say, "Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, I beat you!"

You are truely a rare and wonderful person. I know so few people who can make me laugh when my heart is aching for them.

Prayers for you and everyone who was touched by Beth.

 

[raebates]

You are truely a rare and wonderful person. I know so few people who can make me laugh when my heart is aching for them.

Prayers for you and everyone who was touched by Beth.

You're sweet.

When you pray for everyone touched by Beth you're praying for a VAST number of people. She was a real connector.

 

[candiejayne]

Her having so many people is a wonderful thing. Its so sad when people have no one. We see it a lot at work, the office we share with, they run 6 township owned cemeteries, and a lot of times, the state buries people because they have no one. She is very fortunate.

 

[Karen]

Oh Rae....all of our hugs go out to you and her family. You can be sure that every time any of us see pig butts, we will not only think of you but also of your buddy. Through you she has touched all of us at well!

Blessings...

 

[chefsteph07]

I'm so sorry for your loss! My heart aches for you during this time. I can't imagine what you must be going through

 

[raebates]

The viewing is this evening (Saturday) and the viewing tomorrow (Sunday). I'm really doing fine. I promise. I miss her already, but I'm just allowing myself to feel whatever I feel. I got a little choked up in Hallmark--too many pigs. I stood there caressing a little stuffed piglet with tears in my eyes. People probably thought I was crazy. (Perceptive people ). I also got a little teary-eyed when I found pickle-shaped bandages. Beth hated pickles. She had Bell's Palsy as a child and they made her drink pickle juice. She would have loved those bandages as part of her birthday box.

 

[pamperedlinda]

Just for you Rae - in honor of your pig buddy Beth....hugs!

 

[tlag1986]

Linda
That is adorable.

 

[raebates]

Thanks, Linda. That made me giggle.The viewing was a wonderful mixture of tears and laughter. I got there 10 minutes after it started and had to wait 45 minutes. The line had doubled by the time I left. Beth was loved and admired by many. One mutual friend said she had such an urge to go down the line asking everyone there how they knew Beth and how she had impacted their lives. I imagine there are thousands of great stories.Here's the odd thing. Beth's college roommate and I met once--in the hospital after Beth's hysterectomy. We had both heard a lot about one another through the years--enough to feel like we were already party acquainted. We clicked immediately, and planned to get all three of us together sometime. That never happened. Tonight she asked Beth's sister if I was there yet. Diana told her, "You'll hear her." (I take this as a good thing. My voice and my laugh (especially the laugh) carry. I'm not inappropriately loud, just noticeable. People who haven't seen me since I was 12 have found me in a crowd by recognizing my laugh.)Well, she heard/found me. We chatted for quite a while. We promised to call one another when we had something that only Beth would understand. We figure we shared a sense of humor with Beth, so we'll get it. We're also going to plan a get-together for several of Beth's close friends to celebrate Beth's birthday. Beth loved birthdays. We're hoping to fill the gap a bit that's been left by Beth's death.

 

[Teresa Lynn]

Rae,
Sorry to hear of your loss.
Continued prayers to you and her family as they face the difficult days to come.

 

[pamperedlinda]

Thanks, Linda. That made me giggle.
......

I had hoped it would

One of these days, I'd really like to meet you too.

 

[raebates]

I'd like to meet you, too. Are you going to NC this year? If so, which wave?

 

[pamperedlinda]

I'd like to meet you, too. Are you going to NC this year? If so, which wave?

Wave 2, but I can't go this year. FIL is taking us to China for 2 weeks.

 

[raebates]

Fun reason to miss it.

 

[pcchefjane]

So sorry to hear about your loss. Keeping you, her family, and her friends in my prayers.