Pray for My Back: Dealing with Chronic Pain and Support from Loved Ones

[KellyTheChef]

Hi all!

I have had back problems for about 10 years now. Some really good years, some crappy years dealing with it.

Honestly, God has blessed me tremendously since Evan has been born...only had some "achy" times....and only one really bad time about a year ago. Well....since last Sunday (9 days ago) I have NOT been doing well. I have some "self fixing" excercises that normally take the edge off and they are not even touching the pain. It's in my lower back...it's hard to even sit or stand up straight. I can't get in to my maso therapist till FRIDAY of this week!

DH is being a butt about it too. It's almost like he is MAD at me. Keeps making comments like "if you are like this at 35 what are you gonna be like at 60?" I know he is tired of hearing about it (like I said, it's been a factor in my life for over 10 years now...) but hey, I AM TIRED OF IT TOO!! Come on...grow up and act like you care that your wife is in pain. Come to think of it...why don't you ask her if there is something you CAN DO to help out!!???

Sorry this is so long...I need to vent or else I am going to go off and say things that I really shouldn't be saying out loud to DH.

Thanks for the prayers, I know that there are many of you on here who will lift me up to the Lord to help me get through this!

 

[vwpamperedchef]

Wow, I am so sorry to hear about your back! And the lack of sympathy from your DH! My DH can be like that too, until he really realizes it.

I am sending love and prayers, that you will get comfort and rest during this time. {{gentle hugs}}

 

[heather223]

(((HUGS to Kelly))) Hope it gets better!!! :chef:

 

[jrstephens]

Kelly,

I am so sorry to hear about your back. I know from personal experience that when back problems occur it hurts to do anything! And that it makes it hard on you especially when you have children. I will have an MRI sometimes after I have the baby to try to pin point my problem.

I will keep you and your situation with your husband in my prayers.

I know it has to be hard when your husband does not sympathize for you when you are hurting. There have been times with my pregnancy that I HAVE gone off on Russell. B/c although he is a wonderful husband, he has not treated me the same as when I was pregnant with Luke. He seems to think I am wonder woman, HA! Going off on him has helped though b/c there has been improvement.

I will continue to bath you in prayer.

Did your therapist put you on the cancellation list in case he has any cancellations he could get you into?

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Kelly, I will be praying for you! I know that back pain is excruciating!

I was diagnosed with Scoliosis at the age of 18. (this was before they did routine screening for it) It was never a problem before that because I was very active and that kept me limber enough to keep from having problems. My DH wasn't very supportive either (I think people who don't have back issues don't understand how totally it can wipe you out) UNTIL he fell 20 feet from scaffolding and ended up with 2 compression fractures in his back, and in a Turtle Shell cast for 12 weeks!
I've never heard a negative comment from him since....and a big key for our back health has been finding an incredible chiropractor. I haven't had any major issues since we started going to him - and that has been 3 yrs now.

 

[wadesgirl]

Kelly, so sorry to hear this. I'm going to refer you to the joke Ann posted in the "The Official Continuing Discussion of American Humor" thread. It's somewhere on the last page. Explains alot about men!

 

[janetupnorth]

Kelly - I can sympathize! Mine doesn't prevent me from doing stuff, but I have disc damage in my lower back from a car accident and when it flares up it is REALLY painful.For all the prayers you have sent my way I will GLADLY pray for you and for your pain and pray from DH to have some sympathy. Often the guys joke to cheer us up and make light of the situation and we're going, heh, shut up I'm in pain here!!!!Try asking him kindly to help with a few things that you know irritate it until you can get in. Do you just see a massage therapist or have you ever tried a chiropractor?

 

[KellyTheChef]

My therapist specializes in a technique called Myofacial Release. Here is a link that describes what it is: http://www.myofascialrelease.com/mfr/mfr_what.asp
It works for many with chronic pain, or many with fibromyalgia get releif with this type of therapy.

I saw a chiropractor years ago and really didn't like him, and did not get relief. It's definately something to keep in mind, though...since it may have just been HIM that was the problem!

 

[Jenelle]

Kelly,

I worked for a chiropractor for about 4 years part time. I saw a lot of people come and go with back pain, some minor, some major. She had a few people who came to her for a second opinion before getting surgery, and oddly enough, she was able to "fix" them and keep them from getting surgery. If you didn't like the last chiropractor, maybe find someone else local, or ask a friend or family member for a reference.

 

[ltkacz]

My prayers go out to you....I had to cancel my leadership registration due to back problem. Finally, I found a doctor (orthopedic) who said living in pain was unacceptable. Found out I have a herniated disk on L5 and bulging on L4. He referred me to pain management as well as a physical therapist who is a MIRACLE WORKER! The therapist I saw before, didn't help and in fact was simply making the problem worse. Between the physcial therapist, and the pain management doctor - I'm doing awesome!

 

[PamperedChefDebi]

My therapist specializes in a technique called Myofacial Release. Here is a link that describes what it is: http://www.myofascialrelease.com/mfr/mfr_what.asp
It works for many with chronic pain, or many with fibromyalgia get releif with this type of therapy.

I saw a chiropractor years ago and really didn't like him, and did not get relief. It's definately something to keep in mind, though...since it may have just been HIM that was the problem!

Oh Kelly, I will be praying for you and praying for some compassion from your DH. (I know you know what I'm thinking!) :yuck:

I'm wondering if Myofascial Release is what my Physical Therapist has been using for my back. I had basically been told a million different things and NO treatment worked until I discovered him about 3 months ago. He is like magic! I think I actually told him "I think I love you!" LOL! He can just feel my back and tell EXACTLY where the "knots" are. Then he pushes and moves me some and PRESTO! Pain gone. It's unbelieveable. He usually ends up realigning me too. The first time I went to see him he said my back was "locked." And it was a MESS!!! LOL!

Anyway, I pray you get some relief SOON!!!!!

 

[KellyTheChef]

Thanks for all of the prayers...keep em coming!

I was able to get into my therapist this afternoon at 4PM, due to a cancellation that they had!

She said that my vertabrae (L2-L5) were twisted to the right, my sacrum was twisted to the left, and both of my hip bones were rotated inward. She said she had NO IDEA how I did it...and that any and all of my self treatment releases that I know would have never fixed it!

They have another opening on Friday and I will be taking it as long as I can find a sitter! I want to be up and operational for Saturday...it's our regional training and we have a 2.5 hour trip each way! I do not want to be in pain all day there either....

Thanks again...keep me in your prayers!

Kelly

 

[pamperedlinda]

Kelly, I'm so sorry to hear that you are in pain. Glad to know that the Dr. was able to help you today. As for DH - just slap him! (well, not really) has he been to the Dr, with you? Maybe that will help him understand your problem a little better.

 

[mommyhugz1978]

Kelly I am sorry that your in pain and your DH is being a real dork....LOL... I will send some prayers you way. I have a lower back problem too and it doesn't make things easier.

 

[pamperedharriet]

Back pain is no fun! Hope your back pain eases real fast, Kelly!

 

[dianevill]

Kelly, prayers coming your way for continued pain relief and for understanding from your DH. I have lower back pain from a horse back riding accident 18 years ago. It's always there, but sometimes it REALLY hurts. I've found that grunting loudly in pain and limping around for a few minutes when I stand up works wonders on my DH's sympathy level.

Keep us updated!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Thanks for all of the prayers...keep em coming!

I was able to get into my therapist this afternoon at 4PM, due to a cancellation that they had!

She said that my vertabrae (L2-L5) were twisted to the right, my sacrum was twisted to the left, and both of my hip bones were rotated inward. She said she had NO IDEA how I did it...and that any and all of my self treatment releases that I know would have never fixed it!

They have another opening on Friday and I will be taking it as long as I can find a sitter! I want to be up and operational for Saturday...it's our regional training and we have a 2.5 hour trip each way! I do not want to be in pain all day there either....

Thanks again...keep me in your prayers!

Kelly

Kelly,

So glad there was a cancellation! I'm glad you were able to get some relief and I will continue praying!

 

[JAE]

I hope you find a babysitter for Friday. Glad you were able to get in today.
I had some awful back problems about 5.5 years ago. I had back problems off and on since having kids. Since then, I've been doing pilates 2-3 times a week, and I've never had a problem since. I really think once the pain is taken care of, the best thing to do is work on strengthening and maintaining the strength of the core muscles.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

I hope you find a babysitter for Friday. Glad you were able to get in today.
I had some awful back problems about 5.5 years ago. I had back problems off and on since having kids. Since then, I've been doing pilates 2-3 times a week, and I've never had a problem since. I really think once the pain is taken care of, the best thing to do is work on strengthening and maintaining the strength of the core muscles.

DH and I do Pilates 3-4 times a week. We both agree that our backs feel better after we do Pilates. We love the stretching and core work. This is exercise that actually feels good to do!

 

[cathyskitchen]

Oh, Kelly, my prayers are with you!! I've had back problems since I was 23 (I'm 39) when I herniated a disk in my lower back (L5-S1), and it is NOT fun. VERY painful, so I feel your pain, literally!! I re-herniated it when I was 34 and had a 3yo and a 1yo - it was awful. We had to put my youngest in daycare 3 days a week and my mom had to help me on the other 2 days - I couldn't lift him, bend over - NOTHING! I ended up needing 3 shots of steroid injections (epidurals) to get the pain to a point where I could do physical therapy and get massage therapy to reduce the pain. I do yoga now, when I can, to keep my "core" strong and to prevent a future herniation, but I'm going to look into Myofascial Release - I think that's what the massage therapist did on my gluteus maximus (yep, my butt) to work out the tight muscles around my sciatic nerve (which was being pinched by the disk - ack!). I hope your DH is able to help - mine was a little frustrated with it, but he had to call an ambulance for me when I herniated it the 2nd time - I couldn't even get out of bed! - so he knew it was for real. Hopefully your DH will come around and not let you get to that point!! (((HUGS))) and I hope you're able to get some relief soon!!

 

[MissChef]

I had to cancel my leadership registration due to back problem. Finally, I found a doctor (orthopedic) who said living in pain was unacceptable. Found out I have a herniated disk on L5 and bulging on L4. He referred me to pain management as well as a physical therapist who is a MIRACLE WORKER! The therapist I saw before, didn't help and in fact was simply making the problem worse. Between the physcial therapist, and the pain management doctor - I'm doing awesome!

this is me too! Except mine was L5 that herniated too but it hemoraged into my sciatic nerve! OMG! That was the WORST PAIN I had ever been through! It made 44 hours of labor with my son and 4 hours of solid pushing seem like a cake walk! Now that is some pain, cause dang those contractions from the pitosin and all that pushing hurt like all get out!!
Back to my back, I could not walk for weeks! My physical therapist.... oh I love him! He is great!
As for unsupportive husband... I understand that too! My hubby didn't support me either! Didn't think it was that bad! I had a 2 year old and a 6 year old and could barley handle it and I crawled all over the house!! Oh, I was pathetic!!
Sad thing is my hubby has 2 herniated and hemoraged disks in his back and he should have the 2 disks fused, because they still give him grief. Anyway, we fought really bad about it and I felt so much despair! When my PT finally referred me for my MRI and I told my hubby what it was... he had to eat crow and I loved it! I was so hurt that I couldn't help it! All's better now of course! Now we both understand each other's back issues and know how to massage each other and what drugs to go get in the medicine cabinet and get for each other!!!! We do the same type of exercises and just understand when we hurt!

Good luck Kelly! Husbands can be jerks somtimes! Best advice, is to not complain about it too much and pray for him!!! Gosh that is so hard to do, I know!!!! I don't think that you are complaining too much, let me clarify that! I'm only coming from the view point of the bible!
But do know, I will be praying for you! Let God deal with him!

 

[lmonninger]

kelly,
I know thew pain you are talking about! Back in 95 i had 2 disk ruptured. I was only 25 and I was 350 in weight. I was an active weight lifter/martial arts and going to college full time (jr college ) I was working on my internship and directorship classes for early childhood studies. Well what happened to me was I was in real bad pain and I went to the walk in clinic at the jr college they sent me into the sports therapy. I was looked at no xrays and was told I had a pulled hamstring.and he gave me some tylonol #3 and told me to walk it off.
2 days later( over the weekend) I was back in class suffering and crying. I went back to the sports clinic and I asked him to take an xray well to make a long story short I had an mri and a muscle scan and brought back the xrays that same day no one talked to me.
3 pm that day I was called into the office a nurse and the dr told me right there I had to have surgery I must do it now and that he would do it.
I was so scared and I asked to call my mom and dad I told them what the dr said and then asked her to come down to the sports clinic.My mom was there and the dr was press for me to get to sign the papers to go for immeadent surgery. My mom wanted a second opion.
I then found out that this dr whom wanted me to have sugery right then had botched each one that he was concerned in being paid and that the insurgence I paid for the school was only going to pay for the xrays that i would had to come up with the rest! WHAT A NIGHTMARE I had to go through Just being 25!
I had to go to the walk in clinic 2 days later, they told me I needed to be on the gurney for them to see me. I could not walk I could not stand and my back was paralyzed, same with my right leg.
so 2 rns tried to lift me up on to the gurney I was screaming and cussing ! I never cuss and that is not a part of me . Well the dr said oh my! and before I knew it the shot 1 spinal block into my back and took me into xray I had 12 people working with me and they said they never saw this before !I was in er. for 5 hrs for xrays and exams they gave me some pain meds and told me I will have surgery in 4 days ! I was scared that i would freeze up again and i was pleading with then to just admit me...
I had to wait for the trauma specialist form ca to come to riv.general to do my surgery. Apparently he has done this type of surgery over 200 times and had only one person die all the rest were cured.
I was in the hospital for 7 days and I can say it took me 1 year to learn how to walk again . I went to therapy and finally was able to go to a class called hinges in the twinges ( low impact water excersize) at the ymca. well i got the feeling back in my right leg and toes with in 3 months of the class . Now with all of the hospital stay and therpy and twinges class the total cost was 70,000.00
the state paid for all but 1,000. Which i had to pay there is an plan out there called medical indigent (misp) tis program helps you in sugery and they help you get medical as well, they can not turn you away if you go to the hospital.. you do have to get an letter of support usually from either your husband or parents or whom ever you live with stating that they take full care of you and in return you do chores for room and board. If you are married then state that his is taking care of you that you don't have sufficient income for this and then it is done. you will get sent the bill but you take it to the misp office in the hospital. the ruptures were L4 L5 and S1
I recommend doing this go to the dr get a mri and second and 3 opinion and if you need to have the surgery please go get it ! don't mess around with not going trust me! Go to Loma Linda hosp. see Richard Rohue if he's not there then hunt him down by the internet He's the best! after that optionThe things to worry about is numbness in the toes going up the ankle numbness in the leg or trobing constant sever pain more than child birth! I am almost recovered. I can do just about all I did before and I have lost about 110 pounds slowly .I am 235 in weight. I walk but I will not ski or ice skate anymore. I can ride a horse, I can go on water slides and I can do yoga you will want to see a dr first to see if it is ok. remember you only have ONE back please take care of it before you get worse...
I can say that God really looked over me and made sure that I would be ok. the kicker is i prayed for patience and this all happened. What has changed in me I have slowed down and appreciated what things I have and slowed down to smell the roses. I also have given back and paid it forward please make sure that you go and see what you can do. I am in your corner cheering for you.
lori monninger

 

[lmonninger]

kelly ,
Dr Richard L Rohue is in Corona ca. I found him on Google. he is a back specialist if something should go very wrong see him tell him
lorrelle monninger sent you.
a little background on him
he and his father went to Africa and helped the people there with medical supplies and actually setting up an hospital .
he has wonderful bedside manner and is very compassionate and caring is also a man of god.
lori

 

[raebates]

Kelly, you'll be in my prayers.

 

[KellyTheChef]

Thanks for all of the prayers!

I took that other appointment this Friday in the afternoon. I want to be at my best for our training on Saturday!

Today it is much "looser" but I am still having pain. WAY better than Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday though! Thank you Lord for that!

Thanks for keeping me in your prayers...they are working!

Kelly

 

[jrstephens]

Glad to hear you are a little better Kelly! Some relief is better than no relief! Will continue to pray for complete and total relief.

Have your husband been any better about it?

The weekend we told everyone I was pregnant mine caught and I had to go to the chiropractor everyday for two weeks before he could get me completely well. He normally does it in a few visits but being pregnant limits what he can use on me! I never thought I would miss that STEMS machine so much! HA

 

[KellyTheChef]

Glad to hear you are a little better Kelly! Some relief is better than no relief! Will continue to pray for complete and total relief.

Have your husband been any better about it?

The weekend we told everyone I was pregnant mine caught and I had to go to the chiropractor everyday for two weeks before he could get me completely well. He normally does it in a few visits but being pregnant limits what he can use on me! I never thought I would miss that STEMS machine so much! HA

Is that where they do "stim" with electrodes? You can't do that while pregnant? Goes to show how much I pay attention...I used to work for a therapy place and I hooked people up to the stim machines!

**BTW, I was just thinking (fondly) of that machine the other day. When I worked at the office, I would just stay after work and hook myself up and lay on an ice pack to feel better! I swear I used it while I was preggo! Who knows, you know how having a kid takes half of your brain away!! LOL

 

[jrstephens]

HA!

Yes you are right about what I was talking about. Some may use it but mine doesn't. He said that it has never been proven that it causes problems with the baby but that it has never been proven that it does not either. And they whoever "they" are recommend not using it b/c the electrical stimulations could mess things up in the nervous system at certain stages.

I even had a small home one that I used on my own, so, I am really having withdrawals!

 

[KellyTheChef]

Just wanted to update with PRAISE that I am doing soooooo much better! God really has answered prayer with my back! Just wanted to say thanks for the prayers and YEA, I FEEL GOOD!!

 

[pamperedlinda]

Glad you are feeling better Kelly.....now ya'll can pray a little for me! After that yoga class I took today my entire body aches! LOL...I'll be okay in a day or two

 

[cathyskitchen]

Is that where they do "stim" with electrodes? You can't do that while pregnant? Goes to show how much I pay attention...I used to work for a therapy place and I hooked people up to the stim machines!

**BTW, I was just thinking (fondly) of that machine the other day. When I worked at the office, I would just stay after work and hook myself up and lay on an ice pack to feel better! I swear I used it while I was preggo! Who knows, you know how having a kid takes half of your brain away!! LOL

Hey, Kelly - it's actually called a "TENS" machine (here's a link: http://www.spine-inc.com/glossary/t/tens.html )

Some people in Europe use it when in labor, but it's not used here in the US for that purpose. Not sure why. I would love to buy one of those machines myself!!

 

[tabnat80]

why do dh have to be such butts at times? Mine's been one tonight too lol. I hope your back gets better soon. Maybe dh will help you load your pc tools in the car for your shows to help your back.