Director Coaching Frustration: Helping a Busy Mom Balance Work and Family

[finley1991]

I'm looking for some words of wisdom here...I have a consultant that I need to do coaching with. She e-mailed me last week asking if we could have some phone time. I e-mailed her back with 2 specific times I would be available to work with her and she could call me at either time and when she did call, we'd need about 20 minutes of QUIET uninterrupted time. She didn't call, which didn't totally surprise me.A little background... she signed in January because her husband "told her" she needed to get a job. She has 11yo twin boys and a 10-month-old boy. NO ONE helps her with the baby. Her husband (who told me "she got herself pregnant") is ZERO help at best. One night she had to take one of the twins to the emergency room for stitches at 11pm and her husband made her (her words) wake the baby up and take him because he wouldn't watch him while she was gone. He's pretty much non-supportive of her biz but doesn't want her to give it up because she's made good commissions so far. But he said he won't fully support her or help her out until she "earns him a trip." (He's also being sued by his brother so there is a lot of family drama going on and I know it stresses my consultant out). I've met her husband and let me tell you, he's a charmer! NOT!!!!!! This poor girl does not have it easy... I honestly don't know how she does it. I don't think I could do anything if I were in her position.Anyway... she finally called me yesterday (I didn't hear the phone because I was outside at the time) and tells me she's up north at their vaca home for the next week and I can call her on her cell phone and she'll TRY to have some quiet time so she can focus on the call. She needs to submit $200 before the end of the month or she will go inactive. She has no shows lined up that I know about. I guess this is turning into a vent more than anything else, but I'm guessing she won't have any of her PC stuff with her to make calls or do any work while she's up there, so she will be busting her hiney when she gets back to make something happen before the end of the month.So what do I do, just keep telling her when I am available to talk with her? She keeps just leaving me messages to call her when I have a chance and I've had other things happening this weekend and really don't want to be hanging by the phone for her to call me... and I don't want to be unsupportive either...So I guess I am looking for some words to use with this one. Thanks! You all are the best!!!!PS: Hope everyone is having a happy father's day!

 

[Mel5497]

It doesn't sound like she has the circumstances to really plan her time (outside of shows...though I don't quite see how she manages parites with such an unsupportive spouse). I know it isn't a good general practice, but how do you feel about giving her some broad windows to call you? It may give her just the bit of flexibility she needs.

Her husband sounds like the type to say in one breath she needs to keep doing PC and in the other breath undermine any attempts she makes to be successful on her own.

I wish I had better words to offer you...feel yucky for you and sad for her.

(Her husband (who told me "she got herself pregnant") is ZERO help at best.)

These words make me want to ralph. :grumpy:

 

[finley1991]

Her husband sounds like the type to say in one breath she needs to keep doing PC and in the other breath undermine any attempts she makes to be successful on her own.

EXACTLY!!!!!

What you said is great and I can be more general with the times to coach her. She does fantastic when she can do shows and I know she loves it because it's "her" thing.

The next thing to tackle will be how she will be able to do shows as the baby gets bigger... right now she's taking him with her because of hubby... I can't see that lasting...

 

[Nanisu]

Wow, the first I would do would be to pray for her! It sounds like PC is a good fit when she can do it, but it also sounds like her marriage has much bigger issues than if she can do PC or not. That said,

1) Does she have someone she can trade babysitting with for her shows?

2) Can you encourage her to set 15 minutes a day aside? If she starts small, with 15 minutes a day, and that becomes a habit, the habit will grow and she can stretch the time. Shoot, even go to the park with the kids and make phones from her cell.

3) Does she have a PWS? Can she get one if she doesn't? She can do a lot from her PWS.

 

[finley1991]

UPDATE:I heard from my consultant today. This is going to be a challenge and what she really does need now more than anything are prayers...She is still up north and is unsure of when she will be coming home. They went up as a family on Friday and her husband took the car and came home sometime... she didn't tell me when. He left her and the 3 kids up there with no car and no way to get home. Her brother will go up this week and that's probably how they will get home.She didn't give me all of the details but said that when she gets back she really needs to work on her biz as this is going to be her full-time job when she gets back and she'll need the income to support them. So I don't know exactly what it means but it sounds like she's not going to be relying on her husband. Either he's not working or he's not going to be in the picture... but that is just my speculation.She has 3 shows this month (next week and the week after) that she will get in and is focused on moving forward from there.Thanks for your encouraging words and advice on how to coach her. Now that I know a little more and what she wants, it will be easier.And now more than ever I am thankful for this business opportunity. It can really be a lifesaver.. not only financially, but emotionally as well. She said that she refuses to give this up because she loves it and I don't think other than her kids... she has a lot of love in her life right now.Thanks again for your help... just wanted to update you!

 

[Mel5497]

Sounds like you and PC were meant to come along in her life at the time you did.

 

[pamperedlinda]

Such a sad situation. I wish the best for her.

 

[chefkathy]

Oh my! I agree with Kris.