Are You Trying to Conceive?

[Kitchen Diva]

Aww Kacey, I can't imagine how hard that must be! You brought tears to my eyes! I have a cousin that wanted to conceive so badly & tried invitro several times; then found a wonderful little baby girl to adopt. Makes me crazy sometimes to think about all the people that *shouldn't* have lots of kids when there's people that would make wonderful parents & can't even have one.

THanks, Lacy- for some reason it's been a hard week where that is concerned. We were going to adopt from Russia about 6 years ago and after a year of paperwork, DH decides he doesn't feel right about all the bribes we have to bring over there nor does he want to adopt from a communist country. I said, well- unless you want a little more on the ethnic side which was fine with me, we have to stick with Russia. He said no. Then he tells me he wouldn't have an issue with a baby girl from China... Um- okay china is a communist country- but whatever- so we get into the process and he decides that he just doesn't think he could love someone that isn't of his loins... I was crushed- I felt like he led me on just to make me happy for about 3 years and I couldn't even look at him for a week. I was DEVISTATED!


I keep asking him about foster kids, but he keeps saying no- he's very interested in being a house parent at ranches and the like for troubled kids and teens, but not adoption or fostering. I just pray that God will change his mind because children are such a desire of my heart, and even if I can only get pregnant ONE time- I just want to experience it... It really does break my heart and it's hard at times to not think that God just doesn't want me to be a Mom, which I know isn't true. So a lot of tears have been shed over this issue this week.

Thanks for the kindn words, Lacy- at least I get to spend time with my niece this weekend... not the same but still fun!

 

[dianevill]

Kacey, I'm really sad for you that you want children so badly and it's just not happening. Keep praying for that miracle. I'll pray with and for you!

 

[lacychef]

{{hugs Kacey}}
Have you guys just tried adopting in the US? My cousin just went through a local agency/lawyer & they adopted a newborn from NM. They even got to be there when she was born. And she is loved just as much as if she's naturally theirs. I'm sure your dh would come around once he is holding a newborn angel in his arms

 

[pamperedalf]

Kacy, I am sending hugs your way as I'm crying.

I understand how you are feeling especially w/ dh. My dh was the same about adopting, foster children, and wanted nothing to do w/ invitro/fertility. You are very strong, things happen for a reason (I know it sucks), and sometimes we do not know the reasons for awhile.

Just know that we love you. Don't look at my siggy!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

{{hugs Kacey}}
Have you guys just tried adopting in the US? My cousin just went through a local agency/lawyer & they adopted a newborn from NM. They even got to be there when she was born. And she is loved just as much as if she's naturally theirs. I'm sure your dh would come around once he is holding a newborn angel in his arms

DH is too old- the cut off age is 42, and he's 45- they would happily give us an older and very ethnic child if we want to sit on a waiting list for for endless amounts of months... but DH doesn't want ethnic. so I'll just keep buying more pets! Maybe I'll go get a lizzard this weekend! HA!!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Kacy, I am sending hugs your way as I'm crying.

I understand how you are feeling especially w/ dh. My dh was the same about adopting, foster children, and wanted nothing to do w/ invitro/fertility. You are very strong, things happen for a reason (I know it sucks), and sometimes we do not know the reasons for awhile.

Just know that we love you. Don't look at my siggy!

Amanda- I will look at your siggy because I'm happy for you! I enjoy looking at KellyTheChef's picture siggy's that tell how far along the baby is- I'm not mad or jealous when others get pregnant- just sad because of the reminder that it is something my heart longs for. So don't think that your siggy upsets me in any way. But for some reason this week is just a hard one... maybe it's because last week I had to take my umpteenth pregnancy test at the doctors office to ensure that what I was going through was not pregnancy...and once again- the tests came back negative.

So it's okay to be sad about that, right?

Thanks for your hugs and kind words, guys! I appreciate it very much.

I even asked DH if he'd be willing to adopt a rather ethnic child, and he said no- it wasn't fair to the child...and I thought- neither is being with a mom or dad... but that's another battle.

Blessings to all you expecting wonderful little babies!!!

 

[Skippylouwho]

Yes, it's okay to be sad. Counting days on the calendar, and as your cycle gets close, hoping that it won't happen. I finally have just stopped counting.

After we were married, family was the worst, always asking if you are pregnant yet. That has slowed down substantially.


I know what you are going through. We have been married almost 15 years with no luck in having a baby. After 12 years, we finally went to the doctor to see what the problem was. Why did I put it off so long? I guess part of me didn't want to hear that we couldn't have children. We do have the option of invitro, but not the money to try it right now. And, there is no guarantee that it will work. My DH is open to adoption, so that is a plus. At first he didn't want to adopt, but when I asked him about it again last fall, he said he would be open to it.

God bless, and I know you will find what is right for you.

 

[chefmeg]

Wow, I really feel for you ladies that have trouble with getting pregnant. I won't even pretend to know how you feel because I was very blessed to get pregnant both times we wanted to. I just have to think that God has a big old plan and rarely does He tell us what it is, so I will keep you in my prayers!

 

[lacychef]

DH is too old- the cut off age is 42, and he's 45- they would happily give us an older and very ethnic child if we want to sit on a waiting list for for endless amounts of months... but DH doesn't want ethnic. so I'll just keep buying more pets! Maybe I'll go get a lizzard this weekend! HA!!

Wow, I didn't know there is a cutoff age.

 

[Cookin Kristen]

Well found out I am pregnant! Went to the Dr. on the 22nd and I am 6 weeks and a day! I am 36 and have no children, My DH has a 12 y/o boy and 14 y/o girl and I love em like they are mine. He knew when he married me...I wanted at least one. Well we have been trying for 3 months and it has paid off! So to anyone else that is trying to get pregnant...I am sending off good vibes to you all! Hope you all have good news too, soon! :love:

 

[Kattyschack]

I keep waiting for the day that the test comes back positive. My DH and I have been trying for almost 2 years, and nothing. I have had surgeries and have done all kinds of shots and pills. I come from a very large family and am the only one to have any problems. Please keep your fingers crossed for us. I am currently one week late but no positive test yet. :-(

 

[pamperedalf]

Amanda- I will look at your siggy because I'm happy for you! I enjoy looking at KellyTheChef's picture siggy's that tell how far along the baby is- I'm not mad or jealous when others get pregnant- just sad because of the reminder that it is something my heart longs for. So don't think that your siggy upsets me in any way. But for some reason this week is just a hard one... maybe it's because last week I had to take my umpteenth pregnancy test at the doctors office to ensure that what I was going through was not pregnancy...and once again- the tests came back negative.

So it's okay to be sad about that, right?

Thanks for your hugs and kind words, guys! I appreciate it very much.

I even asked DH if he'd be willing to adopt a rather ethnic child, and he said no- it wasn't fair to the child...and I thought- neither is being with a mom or dad... but that's another battle.

Blessings to all you expecting wonderful little babies!!!

I understand those hard weeks, that's why I said to not look. I know from my expereince anything w/ a baby would just send me over the edge.
Last January I had my first miscarriage and my cousin was having her baby shower a week later. I couldn't look at her invitation let alone show my face at the baby shower.

Sending more hugs your way!

 

[pamperedalf]

I keep waiting for the day that the test comes back positive. My DH and I have been trying for almost 2 years, and nothing. I have had surgeries and have done all kinds of shots and pills. I come from a very large family and am the only one to have any problems. Please keep your fingers crossed for us. I am currently one week late but no positive test yet. :-(

Keeping my fingers crossed and sending good vibes your way!

 

[PamperedDor]

Let me say that reading this thread brought tears to my eyes - MY chicka Kacey - OMG, you are the MOST amazing person!!! Your strength, kindness, and inner beauty is amazing!! ( Ok - so I don't know what you look like but I am sure you are adorable - hello!!! YOU"RE a 5!) Amanda -congrats on baby #2 and I hope and pray for a healthy happy baby for you -

This site is truly remarkable - the love and support that each and everyone gives eachother thru good times, bad times, trying times, who know what times, is just so refreshing in this day and age. ( NOW I sound like I am 90 or something!!)

I read this thread (why? I am NOT trying to conceive!) thinking maybe I could help give insight, (those of you who know me, I have been very blessed!) and in turn became very humble and gracious for all I have been blessed with - OH, I have had a few unfortunate happenings in my life as far as pregnacy goes, but you have all again made me more thankful for what I have and have had.

I just wanted to add my 2 cents and thank each of you for what you bring to every thread.............

 

[AJPratt]

Kacey... We didn't try as long as you have, but its been 6 long years for us. So, I can partly relate. I am sending good thoughts your way.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Dor, Amanda, Ann, and Skippylouwho- Thanks so much for the kinds words and for permission to be sad. Sometimes I wonder if I'm allowed to be sad, or if it's right to be sad. I only have really bad days a few times a year where it really gets me down, and it doesn't take long to snap out of it. It was easier to snap out of it this time around because I was able to talk it out with you guys. DH feels guilty for marrying me- knowing he wouldn't want children, but then changed his mind- got a reversal- it didn't take- then he changed his mind about adoption, so we started that, then he changed his mind and didn't want to adopt... and has all but changed his mind on kids all together.

Anywhoo- so I can't lean on him for the sad/bad days- I can't tell you how good it was to get that sadness off my chest here with you guys! Thank you so much for listening!

And, uh-Dor... of course I'm adorable!!! I'm hot! I may be a little fluffy- but I'm hot... Like a CAMPFIRE MARSHMALLOW! whoo-hoo hottie alert- comin' through!!!

 

[pamperedalf]

Kacey glad you are feeling better!

 

[pamperedalf]

Okay I found a countdown ticker that is cute.

 

[chefmeg]

227 days sounds like an eternity!

 

[milkangel]

To all that are having a hard time getting pregnant.
i too had it hard to start. the first time i miscarried in the year of 01 after taking bcp. after that every thing went down hill, for a long time it seemwd like we could not get pregnant. I went to a doc but they did nothing and i new my period was not right i would spot a few times amonth than it wont come it was a roller coster than. in the fall of 05 i finally stoped having a period for 2 months in arow. I had a sister in law that told me of this natural Path Doctor up in e-dina Mn and so i went to him and found out that every thing was off enought not have a period letalone get pregnant. So i had hormonse off and also had Candida (is a yeast over groth)and so i took some natural pills that have no side afects to them. than also in that year of 06 afew months later i find out that i was pregnant for the fist time in 4 years. i also went to thew lord and prayed to him to help me and he knew the desiers of our hearts so I really found out that we were pregnant wasmin july of that year of 06 and i was 4 months along. Since that in had hormones out of wack agaain and my adreanl glans off and so it made my thyroid low as it was before. i Blame all of this on the Birth control pills. So i am now happy to say i stay away from them and Now preganant again with #2 kid on the way in Dec. i will have another c-section.

 

[lacychef]

Your little bean-sprout is cute Amanda!

 

[pamperedalf]

Your little bean-sprout is cute Amanda!

Thanks Lacy!!!

 

[Kattyschack]

Keeping my fingers crossed and sending good vibes your way!

I took a HPT and it came out positive...so I thought FINALLY! Went to the Dr. and they took a blood test and it came back negative, so for a few days I really thought it finally had happened. I have since spotted but no period yet. My cycles are all out of whack now, I have gained about 30 lbs in the last 2 years, and I get to watch all my family and friends go through what I so desperately long for. Today was the first day in a very long time that I started to cry. I saw on TV an episode about women getting pregnant while going through cancer, or right after recovery. I couldn't help but think "These women had even less chance then me, and yet they got pregnant. Is there something really wrong with me that no one has discovered yet". I hate feeling like it is me. Growing up, if someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my response was always a teacher until I can have my own kids. I love my students as if they were mine but it is getting hard to think about going back to school and seeing all these women who have children of their own, going to school functions where it is families everywhere you turn.

I am so very sorry about the rant, but today has just been an extremely emotional day and I am stuck in a hotel room by myself.

 

[pamperedalf]

I took a HPT and it came out positive...so I thought FINALLY! Went to the Dr. and they took a blood test and it came back negative, so for a few days I really thought it finally had happened. I have since spotted but no period yet. My cycles are all out of whack now, I have gained about 30 lbs in the last 2 years, and I get to watch all my family and friends go through what I so desperately long for. Today was the first day in a very long time that I started to cry. I saw on TV an episode about women getting pregnant while going through cancer, or right after recovery. I couldn't help but think "These women had even less chance then me, and yet they got pregnant. Is there something really wrong with me that no one has discovered yet". I hate feeling like it is me. Growing up, if someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my response was always a teacher until I can have my own kids. I love my students as if they were mine but it is getting hard to think about going back to school and seeing all these women who have children of their own, going to school functions where it is families everywhere you turn.

I am so very sorry about the rant, but today has just been an extremely emotional day and I am stuck in a hotel room by myself.

I am so sorry for your rough day, I am sending hugs your way (((HUGS))). I wish you all the best.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

I took a HPT and it came out positive...so I thought FINALLY! Went to the Dr. and they took a blood test and it came back negative, so for a few days I really thought it finally had happened. I have since spotted but no period yet. My cycles are all out of whack now, I have gained about 30 lbs in the last 2 years, and I get to watch all my family and friends go through what I so desperately long for. Today was the first day in a very long time that I started to cry. I saw on TV an episode about women getting pregnant while going through cancer, or right after recovery. I couldn't help but think "These women had even less chance then me, and yet they got pregnant. Is there something really wrong with me that no one has discovered yet". I hate feeling like it is me. Growing up, if someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my response was always a teacher until I can have my own kids. I love my students as if they were mine but it is getting hard to think about going back to school and seeing all these women who have children of their own, going to school functions where it is families everywhere you turn.

I am so very sorry about the rant, but today has just been an extremely emotional day and I am stuck in a hotel room by myself.

I feel your pain! We've been trying for over 12 years... 12 long years of unprotected sex and ZERO babies or pregnancies! I'm here if you ever wanna talk...

 

[christinaspc]

Awww you both are just sweet ladies and this bring tears to my eyes I feel for you both. I know what it is like to want that blessing of bundle joy it took me 2 yrs to get pregant with my daughter but nothing like you women... You guys just put it all in prespective that children shouldn't ever be taken granteed for since some families who long for one of their own can't have children. I am so very sorry for both of you and I will keep you both in my prays I know it might not be much coming from a women of two children but it makes me sad to think of how many couples in the world who would love to have a child of their own and don't get that chance for some reason other and most of the time they would make the greatest parents in the world.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Thanks for the kind words, Christina. It is very hard to go through your prime years feeling that you are meant to be a mother to many...but you haven't gotten pregnant yet... it is difficult, but thankfully God has given me an immense amount of Grace to get through it, and on the days I just feel really sad about it, I can come and talk to one of my CS buddies and get a little support, AND get grace and comfort from God!

 

[PamperedDor]

Thanks for the kind words, Christina. It is very hard to go through your prime years feeling that you are meant to be a mother to many...but you haven't gotten pregnant yet... it is difficult, but thankfully God has given me an immense amount of Grace to get through it, and on the days I just feel really sad about it, I can come and talk to one of my CS buddies and get a little support, AND get grace and comfort from God!

Oh Kacey - YOU are a mother to many - just a cyber one!!

Seriously - I can't image the pain you guys feel - probably make labor seem like a day at the spa - I know each and every one of you would be amazing parents. You all have your own faiths and beliefs - let that carry with you and help you thru your heartaches. YOU all make me and everyone else feel more blessed and thankful - (even when I want to kick some bootie on my teenagers! - ANYONE wanna try out parent hood with them??? ) Ok - so I am not a good serious person - shoot me!

 

[Kattyschack]

Thank you ladies for all of your kind words. It was an extremely rough day yesterday for some reason, probably because AF finally came today. 3 weeks late! The doctors believe that all of my problems stem from being on birth control for 13 years. I am now worried about my sister having the same problem. Everyone here is so very wonderful and I couldn't have gotten through yesterday without you. Thank you!!!!

 

[momoftwins]

Kattyschack - I was on birth control for a very long time too (probably around 14 years) and had issues getting pregnant after my husband and I got married. I was taking my temp every morning and charting with no luck. I went to my gyno and he put me on clomid. I was on it for 4 cycles with no luck. They ran some bloodwork and found out I had a high FSH and was referred to a fertility specialist. That was the best thing that could have happened to me. My FSH was 14.1 and the clinic I went to won't see you unless your FSH is under 14.5 so I was really lucky. I and my DH ended up doing 2 cycles of IUI and got pregnant both times but the first one was a chemical pregnancy. The 2nd pregnancy I got my boy/girl twins who will be 3 next month.

I thought too about my problems stemming from being on BC for so long but the drs said no. Please by all means have your dr run bloodtests and check your FSH and get a referral for a fertility specialist. It was the best thing I ever could have done. Best of luck to you in your journey and know that I am always here!!!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Oh Kacey - YOU are a mother to many - just a cyber one!!

Seriously - I can't image the pain you guys feel - probably make labor seem like a day at the spa - I know each and every one of you would be amazing parents. You all have your own faiths and beliefs - let that carry with you and help you thru your heartaches. YOU all make me and everyone else feel more blessed and thankful - (even when I want to kick some bootie on my teenagers! - ANYONE wanna try out parent hood with them??? ) Ok - so I am not a good serious person - shoot me!

Yeah, seriousness doesn't fit you well! LOL However that's why we love you! My sistah 5!!!

 

[chefmeg]

I cannot weed thru 32 pages to find the answer to this question....when is baby Pratt due?????

 

[chefann]

Can't remember the exact due date, but there's a reason Anne hasn't been on in a while. I'm sure she'll be around with news soon.

 

[chefmeg]

Can't remember the exact due date, but there's a reason Anne hasn't been on in a while. I'm sure she'll be around with news soon.

that's what I thought!!!! can't wait for little "beanie" to get here!

ETA: did she find out if her psychic friend was right about it being a girl????

 

[cookingwith_tara]

My husband and I have been trying for 11 years. . .After tons of testing and medication (because I have horrible period problems - sometimes I have my cycle for an entire month and other times I don't have it all) I finally told my GYN I wanted him to take everything. The whole period thing finally got to me. I'm severly anemic and tired ALL the time. And when my cycle came I couldn't even leave my house (well, really the bathroom) I probably should own stock in wal-mart (equate brand tampons and pads) After having to purchase so many at one time I switched to generic (a big savings) Anyway, when I told him I wanted him to do whatever he needed to do so I would never have a period again. He said "Well, you sound like someone who is at the end of their rope!" I thought "Ya, think?!?" So, he sent me to a reproductive endocrinologist. Why did he not do that years ago? Hmmm. So on my first visit, my new doctor new exactly what was wrong. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, I am insulin resistance, I have a bicorduate uterus (heart shaped instead of upside down triangle), my eggs don't mature which is why the cysts don't burst, which is why my periods are so bad, thus not ovulating. So, I'm on new medication, birth control, iron supplement, glucophage.

So, we'll see!

 

[pamperedalf]

Well it makes me sad to have to start over, but when it's the right time is right it will happen. Hopefully dh won't think he's too old.Last weekend was rough, I will never do a natural miscarriage again (well if I am that far along). My stomach still feels like someone took out their anger on me or I did a 1,000 crunches. So now we are on a waiting game. I have to wait for my hormones to drop down to 0 before my dr will do any testing to see if there is something wrong. I get to see my dr next week, but it would be some kind of miracle if I was at 0 next week since I was 12,700 last Monday. I have a feeling the dr will tell us to wait a few months before we try again.Well while I was cruising the internet to find more info on miscarriage I found this board of women who are trying to conceive after multiple miscarriages. It's awesome because there are lots of women who had a textbook 1st pregnancy and have had 2+ miscarriages since. It was nice to see that I am not alone (not that I wish this on anyone).Hope everyone is having a good Wednesday!

 

[chefjeanine]

Amanda,

So sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I hope you feel better (physically) soon and that you will find some peace too.

 

[DebbieJ]

Amanda...I missed the news somewhere, so I'm not sure what happened, but I'm sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage in January so I feel your pain. My prayers are with you!

 

[DebbieJ]

I cannot weed thru 32 pages to find the answer to this question....when is baby Pratt due?????

Anne had a baby girl--she's already here. Someone else posted about it.

 

[lacychef]

It'll definately happen when the time is right Amanda...

Sorry Deb...I didn't realize that happened to you too.

 

[DebbieJ]

It'll definately happen when the time is right Amanda...

Sorry Deb...I didn't realize that happened to you too.

Thanks Lacy. I started spotting at Leadership (boy that was fun) and miscarried about two weeks later. Our doctor recommended we wait a while to try again--in fact I am over due for a follow up visit so I should really call her!

 

[lacychef]

Thanks Lacy. I started spotting at Leadership (boy that was fun) and miscarried about two weeks later. Our doctor recommended we wait a while to try again--in fact I am over due for a follow up visit so I should really call her!

Oh, I'm sure that was awful; the situation would be bad enough, but to be gone when it started too...
Hope it happens for you soon also!

 

[pamperedalf]

Amanda,

So sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I hope you feel better (physically) soon and that you will find some peace too.

Thank you Jeanine, I appreciate it.

 

[pamperedalf]

Thanks Lacy. I started spotting at Leadership (boy that was fun) and miscarried about two weeks later. Our doctor recommended we wait a while to try again--in fact I am over due for a follow up visit so I should really call her!

Oh Deb, I am so sorry to hear that.That is so scary to not even be at home. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you and your family all the best. Take care Deb.


So here is a recap of what happened. We went 8/1 for our 1st visit and saw a heartbeat, but the baby was measuring a week and 1 day behind. But the dr. reassured me that there is only a 1% chance of miscarriage once they see the heartbeat and see the baby in the right spot (I was worried since I had already had 3 miscarriages in the last year, but none of them made it that far yet). I started spotting the following Thurs and everyday it got a little worse. Then I went to the dr the following Monday we did a sonogram and there was no heartbeat. Since I was already bleeding the dr, let me do a natural miscarriage. So now I am waiting to do the tests to see if there is something wrong w/ me since this is #4 since Nov of last year.

 

[rennea]

Oh Amanda I'm so sadden to hear of your loss and pain. I hope you get some rest.

 

[pamperedbecky]

Wow, Amanda, I didn't realized you've been through this experience SO MUCH! That must be incredibly hard. I wish you the best and pray you don't have to go through that ever again.

 

[PampMomof3]

Oh Amanda, I am SO SORRY. I had no idea that you've been through this so much either. I pray that you and your dr can pinpoint why you've been going through this.

Good Luck!

 

[pamperedalf]

Thank You guys. I didn't say anything before (most of my family didn't know) but I opened my big mouth at conference because this felt different (and some people figured it out). This is the first time that I started talking about it, and it actually helped me a lot. Especially my new group of friends who have been through what I have as much or more.

 

[momoftwins]

Amanda - I am so so sorry to hear about your miscarriage and your previous ones. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers. I am praying that they can find something with the tests. I had a chemical pregnancy before I got pregnant with the twins and I was just devastated about it. I did read a book about miscarriages and that really seemed to help me. Prayers and love are being sent your way!

 

[DebbieJ]

Amanda, my heart goes out to you girl. Hang in there. I'm here if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen.

 

[pamperedalf]

Amanda, my heart goes out to you girl. Hang in there. I'm here if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen.

Thanks Deb, same here for you. I think we have kids around the same age. DS is almost 4 1/2. He starts preschool in 2 weeks, I can't believe how fast they grow.