What To Do When You Receive a Bad Gift?

[rennea]

This may sound bad but what does everyone do when they receive a gift that is WAY off base of what you would like or need??

Long vent:

My mother is horrible at gift giving it is almost like she doesn't know her own children. Every year Christmas is the "horrible" event for her and every year she tries so hard to wreck Christmas for the rest of us. Starting in November she started bothering me about what I would like. Well I did give her some ideas:
kettle
small 1 cup electric food chopper ($8.93 at walmart )
socks
PJ's

I don't like expense gifts they make me uncomfortable, unless there from DH.
Well yesturday my parents come over and I know right away it's a dishwasher!! Now I know that a lot of you are saying yahoo, but not me. Just last month I was talking about the fact my dishwasher broke down months ago and it didn't matter cause I never use it and this Spring when we redo our kitchen I'm doing all matching SS. My mother does nothing but complain about money and I know I will hear about this until next Christmas.

What should I do??

 

[yankeeinontario]

Smile and say thank you! When it comes time for the kitchen reno, sell the dishwasher she bought you and apply the cost to the new one.

Next............keep nodding and smiling. It's not worth the drama, take the high road!

 

[pamperedlinda]

Tell her thanks, but you really wanted all of your appliances to match when you do your new kitchen and since you haven't decided which brand to go with (or that you really had your heart set on a certain brand) you're afraid that it just might clash. Tell her you'd like to return it and put the money towards the matching set next spring when you re-do the kitchen.

Good luck! I also hate it when people do that sort of thing. Sometimes you just can't be sure if their intentions are good or not.....

 

[LibrarianChef]

Oh that's so frustrating. I would be polite as possible, but it sounds like eventually there will be hurt feelings. One time my parents knew I was looking at buying a new keyboard (I was finishing my degree in vocal performance at the time) and they went out and bought one for me. They really wanted to do something nice and I know they must have looked a long time to find one they could afford and that looked nice. However, I was very young and I was very decided on exactly what type I wanted. I was honest about returning it and to find the one I really wanted and, unfortunately, there's just no way to completely avoid hurt feelings. I think they felt I was being ungrateful. This was about 15 years ago, but it still hurts to think about it.

Anyway, I still think honesty is the best choice. But...see what options you have on the dishwasher. I was watching one of the home remodeling shows recently (probably on TLC, but I can't remember which one) and they said no matter the appliance, you can contact the company, tell them the model number, and they can send the correct colored paneling so that you don't have to replace the whole appliance. In other words, they send the front parts that show in stainess steel and you just have that one part switched out. I was like can it really be THAT easy? I haven't tried it, yet, but if we go all stainless one day we'll probably see about replacing the fronts of our oven and dishwasher before buying the whole new appliance.

 

[rennea]

Thanks for the ideas. My sister today thinks that I should just return and exchange it for the one I want but I really haven't found what I'm looking for yet cause I haven't really been in any big hurry.

It really comes down to the money issue, my parent really don't have the loot right now to be giving expensive gifts!

 

[ShanaSmith]

You could always tell them Thank you, but you just can't exept a gift that expensive.

 

[Grandmarita]

We have a Kenmore Ultrawash dishwasher which is probably five years old. It has black hardware in the control panel but we had the option of whatever color we wanted on the door panel. We gave each of our daughters a dishwasher for their homes at the time they married. However, we consulted them before making the purchase. Maybe that is part of your resistance.

Speaking from a parent's point of view (five adult children) and 15 grands. We too are careful and generally don't go overboard. However, there are a few times when we see a perceived need, and splurge in that case. We did
that recently with one of the five (without advertising it to the others). We
know in our hearts that we did the right thing, and will no doubt, continue to
make those choices as we see fit.

I pray this will be something you can pray about before you reject their well intended gift. Ask the Lord to give you the right words, at the right time,
after you and your husband have done a little shopping to see if you really want to have a different model, and can afford to pay the difference.

 

[koeverson]

You could always tell them Thank you, but you just can't exept a gift that expensive.

you might also want to add that you appreciate the very kind thought. Express your gratitude and explain that the gift is too expensive.

 

[priscilla]

Just smile, say thank you, and do whatever you want with it later.

Robin

 

[Rebeccascabinet]

I say smile, say thank you, and sell it for the model you really want.

 

[sailortena]

If they really give you a hard time about it, I have seen those "redecorate on a dime" shows on HDTV and DIY and they have shown how you can buy a paint that looks exactly like a stainless steel finish when you paint it. They did it on someone's refrigerator and dishwasher. It looked pretty cool.

 

[LibrarianChef]

Guess what I got for Christmas from my MIL/FIL? A 12-piece set of stainless steel cookware (from another company). I thought it was kind of funny seeing as how I am a PC consultant, but we're definitely keeping it. It looks very nice (comparable to PC's stuff) and since we can't afford to buy TPC entire stainless set, just yet, we're going to enjoy this for the time being. I know she thought on it for a long time (several years ago she remembered us saying we wanted a nice stainless steel collection) and we live several states away so I'm quite sure my pampered chef business didn't even cross her mind.

 

[katie0128]

My MIL gave me an attachment to my KitchenAid mixer that does all of the same things that the UM does. Never mind that fact that (after she asked a few months ago) I told her I want the Pasta attachment for my mixer... so she gets me the UM one. She even said "I know this is similar to something you have, but it seems so much better than your big bulky slicer thing you have [meaning the UM]." Guess I'm heading to the store this weekend to exchange it... and she is NOT getting any of the pasta I make next week!!!

 

[janetupnorth]

LOL in a way at this whole thread!We just have to remember that they mean well by giving us gifts. My mother does stuff like that all the time no matter HOW MANY TIMES I lecture her. I've learned to thank you and politely tell her I cannot use it and exchange it or grin and bear it and eventually give it to someone who needs it more. I get more irritated by the "non-practical" gifts...since I like practical ones. I hate for people to waste good money on me or my family. But, like I said, the older I get the more I appreciate the thought...they didn't HAVE to do anything but did.

 

[janetupnorth]

P.S. I'd ask my relatives politely if I can exchange the dishwasher for the color I want to put in my kitchen. Hopefully they'll be fine with that.

 

[Shawnna]

I would just say thank you and exchange it...they probably won't know the difference later. For years I went to my inlaws at Christmas and received nothing while everyone else got wonderful gifts. My MIL can't afford to give much in the way of gifts but now she gives me and my husband a $25 gift card to WalMart...together. I usually use it for fuel. I am just thankful she even thought about me. I know it sounds mean of me, but for years I came away from our "family gathering" with hurt feelings and anger. These days I just enjoy the fact that they love our kids and that they remember them at during the holidays. I think if you ask them if you can take it back it will hurt their feelings.

 

[daniellemorgan]

I'm a chronic returner, so I say exchange it. As a gift giver I would prefer for someone to have something they want as oppossed to something I "think" they want. I'm a big fan of gift receipts. I have a 17-month-old daughter who I refuse to dress like a doll. My one aunt buys her the most obnoxious, non-practical outfits for every holiday. While I appreciate the thought, I still go and return the outfits in exchange for something more practical like a sleeper. (She loves to shop at Sears and I don't like their clothing, but I do like the heavy carter's sleepers.)Maybe I sound ungrateful, but I don't like to waste

 

[rennea]

For years I went to my inlaws at Christmas and received nothing while everyone else got wonderful gifts.

Ouch!! Wow that's mean

 

[pamperedposey]

My cousin took her son and daughter to a family Christmas get together and the Grandpa gave both of the grandsons 7-8 presents while the granddaughters got 1-2. One of the presents to the other grandson who is maybe 8 years old got was a very old electric carving knife without the blades (still had old turkey junk in it). He thought that he would like to take it apart and see how it was made. The other grandson (my cousins son) was given an old toy truck that Grandpa found laying around his house. Guess who's it was...the other grandson! My cousin made him give it back.

Sorry if this was hard to follow, but I thought it fell under the category of bad gift giving!

 

[katie0128]

Yep - this definitely qualifies!

 

[rennea]

Update!Well we talked it over about giving expensive gifts and my parents wouldn't budge. They said if we didn't like it or wanted to upgrade they would be upset. We decided to keep it cause the front panel does come off so we will be able to put a SS if we want. We told then NO pricey gifts next year

 

[pamperedlinda]

Well we talked it over about giving expensive gifts and my parents wouldn't budge. They said if we didn't like it or wanted to upgrade they would be upset. We decided to keep it cause the front panel does come off so we will be able to put a SS if we want. We told then NO pricey gifts next year

I think that is very selfish and not fair. To me that is a burden, not a gift. And, everytime I used it I would be PO'd about it. After a comment like that I'd definately exchange/return it.

 

[LibrarianChef]

They said if we didn't like it or wanted to upgrade they would be upset.

I agree with Linda, that sounds so selfish. There was a children's show recently that talked about a "gift" with demands (strings attached) not being a gift at all (I think it was Veggietales) and it immediately made me think of your situation. I was hoping they'd really have your best interests at heart when you talked with them about what you truly wanted. However, I'm thrilled that you'll be able to switch out the front panel. I had seen that on the DIY shows and thought, How cool! You'll have to tell us how it all goes.

 

[pamperedposey]

Oh yes, I have another "Oh No" gift! I went into my room yesterday to get a shirt and there was a grey T-shirt on top of a pile of my clean laundry. I picked it up and read it and it said "I like your boyfriend". I immediately called my husband and asked him where this shirt came from and he said that his grandma gave it to him for Christmas. He quickly went and hid it in my room and didn't show anyone! Now I can see why his Grandma bought this...she is quite old and not really all there if you know what I mean. What I don't get is why anyone would manufacture a shirt like this in a men's size!!!

 

[pamperedlinda]

......What I don't get is why anyone would manufacture a shirt like this in a men's size!!!

ahem......there are males in this world who DO like other people's boyfriends....where ya been girlfriend?

 

[priscilla]

Well we talked it over about giving expensive gifts and my parents wouldn't budge. They said if we didn't like it or wanted to upgrade they would be upset. We decided to keep it cause the front panel does come off so we will be able to put a SS if we want. We told then NO pricey gifts next year

Girl, they are driving you down Guilt Trip Street. Any changes you make to it, they will notice and coment on it. Anytime they ask for something (come visit, do this, etc) and you cannot or do not want to, GUILT TRIP! "But we bought that nice expensive dishwasher. We love you, don't you luuuuuuuv us toooooooo?!?!?!?"

Seriously, decide now if the next 50 or so years of comments are worth keeping this thing. Pretend to install it, then tell them there were some issues. Return for what you want. Fail to fill in the details on the issues :angel:

Robin

 

[rennea]

My parents 40th is coming up in Feb/08 I think they would like a brand new dishwasher still in the box, don't you?

 

[rennea]

ahem......there are males in this world who DO like other people's boyfriends....where ya been girlfriend?

bahhh!!

 

[priscilla]

My parents 40th is coming up in Feb/08 I think they would like a brand new dishwasher still in the box, don't you?

PERFECT!

Robin

 

[dianevill]

That is perfect - time for a whole new thread on "Regifting"!

 

[pamperedlinda]

My parents 40th is coming up in Feb/08 I think they would like a brand new dishwasher still in the box, don't you?

There's my girl!

 

[Lisa/ChefBear]

my inlaws at Christmas and received nothing while everyone else got wonderful gifts.

Boy can I relate to this, they give our kids WAY TO MUCH, and I mean WAY to much, and then Hubby gets tons and tons and expensive stuff at that, and I get if I'm lucky a necklace, yucky kitchen stuff, or a Gift Card to places I don't shop for $15.00.

After 10 years of marriage, I'm getting used to it, still agravates, but I'm getting used to it.

Lisa