What are the best computer monitoring software options?

[KellyTheChef]

Hey all! I am looking into MONITORING software...not filtering software. I want to be able to see screen shots/instant messages both ways/emails/my space activity, etc.

The two that I have seen that look interesting so far are WebWatcher and IAmBigBrother. Anyone have any experience with these and have any pointers or suggestions? Know of anything that you would recommend?

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Thinking of doing a little snooping, are you?

 

[KellyTheChef]

Yep...have a very sneaky 17 year old daughter who is getting into a world of trouble.

Forewarned is forearmed!

 

[Shawnna]

oh yeah...I have a soon to be 13 yr old son who is very curious. I was typing in a web address the other night and the drop-down box listed sites that my computer had been on that were really upsetting. First I asked 15 yr old daughter...she said no way...then my 18 yr old son and he said no way. Husband doesn't know anything about computers so I knew it wasn't him...that just leaves little boy. When DH asked him he said yes, he had been on there. I went to the sites and they were aweful. Then when I clicked on the "history" I found a bunch more. So, DH is talking to DS now...first he told me to do it. Such a scaredy cat! I was very surprised because last month when you mentioned girls, DS still said "gross". But, they grow up fast and they do get curious. I don't know where he got the info for those sites...hes not telling...but I am assuming it was his "friends" at school. I'm not ready for my baby to be that grown up.

 

[Shawnna]

I think that we do have to be careful and watchful. I don't condone reading someone's diary or going through their things...unless you suspect something dangerous...but sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do. I have friends who drug test their children every few months. I have never suspected drug use, but I am always watching for signs. I ask questions about their friends, where they have been, who they were with, etc. You can't be too careful these days. My oldest says that we don't trust him, but that is not true. I trust him, but I don't trust everyone else. It is so easy today for them to be taken advantage of. Our oldest is 18 and he is away at college, but comes home for the weekend to help us with the business. He still has a curfew and I still question who he is with and where he will be...and I will continue to do so until he is self supporting.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Blocking software is also a good idea, then, but those sites pop up faster than anyone realizes. There are some pretty good site blockers out there, though, that are used at libraries and other public systems that block a lot of websites for rather obvious reasons.I'm chuckling thinking about the thread about how easy kids have it today because when I was a teenager, we had to go find our dirty mags the old fashioned way - under the front seat of the old man's car.

 

[Shawnna]

I have always been hesitant about putting filtering software on my computer because I was told it would filter out legitimate websites...like breast cancer info sites, and medical sites, etc. But it is getting harder and harder to keep "bad" images off your computer and away from your children...and away from yourself. Hackers are getting into legitimate sites too. Several years ago at my office we would use a newsite to keep up with local sports and other local stuff. One day we typed in the address and got a Japanese porno site. We exited out and thought we had typed it in wrong, so we tried again and got the same site. The next day the site worked correctly. But I cannot imagine if my kids were trying to research a school paper and got that porno site instead of the news site. Disgusting!!

 

[KellyTheChef]

It is scarey what is out there these days! I know what you mean, Shawna...our oldest (the 17 year old we want to watch now) was in elementary school and was looking for info on the whitehouse. A porn site came up when she typed it in! DH has always been against the filters...says they block legit sites and that we need to just educate them and keep an eye on their histories and such to see where they are going.

Right now, with all that's going on with her my main concern is what's being said between her and her boyfriend via instant messaging and/or emails via MySpace. Her diary is not something I would go look for and read...but scheming and planning via emails and chats I feel is fair game, especially given what she has put us through during the past month. She hasn't earned the right to 100% privacy right now. She had that...and blew it.

 

[Shawnna]

My 15 yr. old DD is clueless about the "world". She thinks everyone is just like her...open and loving and honest. I have to stay on her. She wanted a facebook site and I consented after talking about not giving out phone numbers, addresses, and not talking to people she didn't personally know. Well, she had my cell phone one evening texting her friend and when I went to get it when it was time for bed she said "just a sec." and then handed it back to me. When I asked who she was "talking" to she said Lilly. When I opened the phone all the text messages had been deleted. I asked her why she did that and she mumbled about how she always erased her messages so they wouldn't fill up the phone. I knew she was lying but went on to bed. About 1230 my phone rings...a text message that says "babe". I texted back "who is this" and received no response. So, I get up and go get her up and start questioning her. She finally says she was texting a boy from a nearby town that she "knew" because he used to play football. Come to find out he had befriended her on facebook and he was 21 or 22 years old. Needless to say I texted him and told him not to be in contact with her again because she is not old enough to date. I then checked her facebook account and deleted him. What in the world does a 21 year old have to discuss with a 15 year old? That really scares me. Now I check her site every day. She doesn't know it, but I do. Kids just do not understand the dangers out there.

 

[crystalscookingnow]

I don't have any advice, just offering support. I commend you for doing the right thing by your DSD & protecting her. We haven't hit that stage yet in our parenting world (my oldest will be 7 in Jan) and I'm dreading the day. I know the things that I did as a teenager and I cringe everytime I think of the bad decisions that I made. One thing that I see now is that my decisions were made out of searching for attention & affection, especially that of a male. My 'dad' (he adopted me at 14) wasn't ever there & mom wasn't either. So, thank you for stepping up & stepping in for this young lady. Just remember when you think she hates you, one day, she'll thank you. I wish I had someone to thank.

 

[KellyTheChef]

I don't have any advice, just offering support. I commend you for doing the right thing by your DSD & protecting her. We haven't hit that stage yet in our parenting world (my oldest will be 7 in Jan) and I'm dreading the day. I know the things that I did as a teenager and I cringe everytime I think of the bad decisions that I made. One thing that I see now is that my decisions were made out of searching for attention & affection, especially that of a male. My 'dad' (he adopted me at 14) wasn't ever there & mom wasn't either. So, thank you for stepping up & stepping in for this young lady. Just remember when you think she hates you, one day, she'll thank you. I wish I had someone to thank.

Me too....my dad was around but really had no clue as to how to speak to me or support me as a girl. What I did was really just wanting love and affection from a male. Now I can see that as an adult!

My DSD is doing the same thing. Although my DH loves and supports her when she is here, she has spent years "away" from us going to school and living with her mom, only seeing us at summer and Christmastime. She is searching for that male figure too. Now that we DO have her, she already has these bad habits in place (looking to a guy for her worth)

 

[KellyTheChef]

Bumping for the Monday morning at work crowd!

Anyone have any experience with software like this?

 

[janetupnorth]

Spector Pro Kelly - it is the best one. E-mail me if you want more information!

 

[janetupnorth]

http://www.spectorsoft.com/products/SpectorPro_Windows/entry.asp?refer=12080

 

[tlag1986]

Wow Janet I love the Spector Pro. Where did you find it? I currently don't need it, but in the future with grandchildren I might want something like this.

 

[janetupnorth]

Wow Janet I love the Spector Pro. Where did you find it? I currently don't need it, but in the future with grandchildren I might want something like this.

I work in an IT department among other things...

 

[KellyTheChef]

Janet...found it on Amazon.com for $80 with free shipping. THANKS!!

Now let's hope that I am computer "literate" enough to install it (I can do that part) and set it up so I can monitor via MY computer (which worries me that I won't be able to figure out that part!!)

 

[pampered.chris]

I don't have any advice, just offering support. I commend you for doing the right thing by your DSD & protecting her. We haven't hit that stage yet in our parenting world (my oldest will be 7 in Jan) and I'm dreading the day. I know the things that I did as a teenager and I cringe everytime I think of the bad decisions that I made. One thing that I see now is that my decisions were made out of searching for attention & affection, especially that of a male. My 'dad' (he adopted me at 14) wasn't ever there & mom wasn't either. So, thank you for stepping up & stepping in for this young lady. Just remember when you think she hates you, one day, she'll thank you. I wish I had someone to thank.

I feel the SAME way. I had my now 11yr old when I was 16. I do not wish that she never happened, I just wish it happened when I was older and more mature. However, I do not wish a teen pregnancy on my worst enemy. My parents didn't care and didn't pay any attention. When I told my mom I was pregnant she responded by saying "How did that happen". She literally didn't think it was possible. Um...okay.

Kelly I salute you for "stepping up". It is SO very important these days to keep track of children. While I don't comment on much of what is said in my daughters emails I do monitor them. I only make a comment when I don't agree with the content. Or if there is someone she is emailing that I don't approve of. I have looked into the monitoring and really am going to get some for the computer she uses. I think if nothing else, we are protecting them.

As for privacy...they are children. Seriously!! I had a girl at work tell me that by monitoring my child's email that I was invading her privacy. I looked her right in the eye and asked her what kind of privacy does a child of eleven years old have or need? I told her that until my daughter is no longer being supported by me, I will have the right to know whatever I want to about her. After she is out on her own, I will still ask, but not demand...okay so maybe sometimes I might demand. But they are kids. I can remember being a teenager and wanting so desperately for my parents to invade my privacy. For my parents to act like they cared.

I fully agree that she will look back on this and tell you Thank you for keeping her from harm. I promise you that...b/c I so wish I could say to my parents, you really did a good job raising me.

So hats off to you Kelly!! I pray for you that this will be okay.

 

[janetupnorth]

Janet...found it on Amazon.com for $80 with free shipping. THANKS!!

Now let's hope that I am computer "literate" enough to install it (I can do that part) and set it up so I can monitor via MY computer (which worries me that I won't be able to figure out that part!!)

Great - it should be pretty self-explanatory! Just don't let her see the box when it comes!

 

[KellyTheChef]

Great - it should be pretty self-explanatory! Just don't let her see the box when it comes!

Let's pray it either comes in a cardboard (plain) box...or that I get the delivery before she would see it!

 

[KellyTheChef]

I feel the SAME way. I had my now 11yr old when I was 16. I do not wish that she never happened, I just wish it happened when I was older and more mature. However, I do not wish a teen pregnancy on my worst enemy. My parents didn't care and didn't pay any attention. When I told my mom I was pregnant she responded by saying "How did that happen". She literally didn't think it was possible. Um...okay.

Kelly I salute you for "stepping up". It is SO very important these days to keep track of children. While I don't comment on much of what is said in my daughters emails I do monitor them. I only make a comment when I don't agree with the content. Or if there is someone she is emailing that I don't approve of. I have looked into the monitoring and really am going to get some for the computer she uses. I think if nothing else, we are protecting them.

As for privacy...they are children. Seriously!! I had a girl at work tell me that by monitoring my child's email that I was invading her privacy. I looked her right in the eye and asked her what kind of privacy does a child of eleven years old have or need? I told her that until my daughter is no longer being supported by me, I will have the right to know whatever I want to about her. After she is out on her own, I will still ask, but not demand...okay so maybe sometimes I might demand. But they are kids. I can remember being a teenager and wanting so desperately for my parents to invade my privacy. For my parents to act like they cared.
I fully agree that she will look back on this and tell you Thank you for keeping her from harm. I promise you that...b/c I so wish I could say to my parents, you really did a good job raising me.

So hats off to you Kelly!! I pray for you that this will be okay.

I could NOT AGREE MORE! If she is in OUR house...I can look at whatever I darn well please!

She has even mentioned the fact that in FL she would sneak out of the house and "obviously her mom didn't care cuz she never even GOT GROUNDED!!" Huh?

 

[chefsteph07]

Maybe have it sent somewhere else?

 

[janetupnorth]

Amazon will be an amazon box so watch for that.

 

[pampered.chris]

I could NOT AGREE MORE! If she is in OUR house...I can look at whatever I darn well please!

She has even mentioned the fact that in FL she would sneak out of the house and "obviously her mom didn't care cuz she never even GOT GROUNDED!!" Huh?

Oh that would anger me so much!! Your house, your rules!! Sneaking out is NOT appropriate behavior for any child.

Again, Great job Kelly!! She WILL thank you for this someday!!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

I could NOT AGREE MORE! If she is in OUR house...I can look at whatever I darn well please!

She has even mentioned the fact that in FL she would sneak out of the house and "obviously her mom didn't care cuz she never even GOT GROUNDED!!" Huh?

Sounds to me like she's saying that if you care, you'll ground her for breaking the house rules!

 

[Hathery]

I've used Perfect Keylogger before; works great!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Bumping for the Monday morning at work crowd!

Anyone have any experience with software like this?

Kelly- I don't know about software, but I am thinking of you and praying for you and miss your emails!

 

[kaseydee]

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,435981,00.html

Thought this might be helpful for you.