Personal Take Responsibility for Your Health: A Lesson from My Friend's Story

[raebates]

I want to make one thing clear. This is not just for women. If you've read this thread http://www.chefsuccess.com/f48/please-pray-my-buddy-49233/ you know that my friend is nearing the end of her journey in this life. She is dying of ovarian cancer. I'm hoping her story can help others. Again, this isn't just for women. It's about taking responsibility for your own health.You see, her story didn't even start with "female trouble." For over a year she had a cough that she just couldn't seem to shake. Her doctor kept prescribing antibiotics for what he assumed was a recurring sinus infection. Some of our friends are really angry with her doctor. And, I understand. Frankly, I think he classified her as a typical overweight, middle-aged woman and blamed her problems on her age and weight. But, as much as I love my buddy, I believe she bears a lot of responsibility.It wasn't until she had pain with her cough that she asked if maybe they might do some tests. That's when they discovered an 8 cm mass in her abdomen. It was causing pressure on her diaphragm, which was causing her cough. After her surgery her prognosis was good. She had a year of mostly good days. It wasn't until recently that her health took a real nosedive.Here's the lesson I hope everyone learns from my friend's story:Take responsibility for your health. Become your own advocate.Beth has never liked conflict. She never wanted to question anyone--especially someone in authority. Plus, she's always been a really busy woman. Taking time for herself was pretty far down on the list. So, when her doctor just kept assuming that it was a recurring sinus infection and prescribing antibiotics, she didn't make waves. She didn't take the time to insist on more tests. (I have to say, I was really proud of the way she took charge once she was diagnosed. She started asking questions. Sometimes she was near tears as she questioned what the doctors were suggesting, but she got the answers.)Finding the cancer earlier might not have changed the outcome, but early detection usually increases your chances of beating it. It's the same with many other health issues--heart disease, diabetes, hormonal imbalances, etc. I know it's easiest to just go along, especially when it's what you'd like to hear (take this, and it will all be better). Remember, though, that if it doesn't get better or if it keeps coming back, there may be a bigger problem.While my sweet buddy is unique, this part of her story isn't. We all know people who have put off that doctor visit, taken handfuls of aspirin for that "weird knee pain," or complained of some recurring ailment. Be a good friend. Tell that person to get to the root of the problem.And, if that person is you, please keep asking questions until you get to the bottom of things. Your health is too precious to gamble with.

 

[PamperedDor]

Well said Rae!!!!

I am making a Dr appointment first thing tommorrow - thanks for a kick in the a$$!

 

[Crystal Patton]

Thank You Rea for taking your troubled time to help others.

I'm still praying for both of you!

 

[letscook04]

Thanks Rae! Sorry to hear about your friend. I will be praying for her.

I am always thinking about my family first, NOW I am taking time for myself with doctor appts.

 

[PampMomof3]

Well said Rae!! I also have a friend who at 31 has had a double mastectomy and is finally doing better.

Please, get to the root of the problem!!

 

[tlag1986]

You are so right Rae!!!!

 

[pampchefsarah]

Rae, you hit the nail on the head, as they say, when you said the doctor classified her as a 'typical overweight . . . woman.' I stopped going to the doctor for years because I ran into this same problem over several issues ("You can't get pregnant? It's because you're overweight." Then, a few months later, "Oh, what, you got pregnant IMMEDIATELY when your husband switched from micro-briefs to jockeys? Hmm, that's interesting"). I now, finally, have a GP who doesn't take anything for granted, plus understand that, though I'm overweight, I'm healthier than alot of thin people (no diabetes, healthy cholesterol levels, healthy blood pressure, etc).

So, yes, be your own advocate AND keep switching doctors until you find the one who listens to YOU, not their diploma.

 

[Jules711]

My mom runs into the same problem with age and she's NOT old (only early 50s!). Everything she's concerned about is age related. Well, she doesn't believe that. Of course, it's a 20 something nurse's aid that she tends to see, I think. I told her she needs to go to mine, b/c they are probably about the same age and when I casually mention something bugging me, she takes it seriously, makes suggestions for stuff I can do to help.

 

[cookingwith_tara]

Amen! Well said, Rae!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

My mom runs into the same problem with age and she's NOT old (only early 50s!). Everything she's concerned about is age related. Well, she doesn't believe that. Of course, it's a 20 something nurse's aid that she tends to see, I think. I told her she needs to go to mine, b/c they are probably about the same age and when I casually mention something bugging me, she takes it seriously, makes suggestions for stuff I can do to help.

My new best friend.

Rae, she is blessed to have a friend like you, too. (Sometimes, ya just need someone to go to the ice cream parlor with!)

Get those checkups too, folks, because often there are no symptoms until it's almost too late. I know that one too well, myself.

 

[raebates]

Thanks, KG. You're right about those check-ups. I learned my own lesson the hard way on that one. Funny you should mention ice cream. It's unseasonably warm here--low 60s. That made me think of the time I decided to stop by a little ice cream place to get a sugar-free. (Remember, I'm diabetic.) I called Beth to read her the riot act for not telling me that they now had sugar-free moose tracks ice cream. If you aren't familiar with it, imagine chocolate ice cream with ribbons of fudge and tiny peanut butter cups. Yum! I told her that sugar-free moose tracks ice cream is a gift from God! I hadn't thought about the fact that there was Sorbitol (a sugar alcohol) in it, which usually causes extreme intestinal distress. Two hours later I called her back and told her that sugar-free moose tracks ice cream is a trick of Satan. She had a good laugh at me. She even used that as an illustration at a small group a week or so later. I reminded her of that story this morning. It made her smile.

 

[baychef]

Oh I can relate SO very well with your SF Moose Tracks ice cream story!!! I am not diabetic, but try to cut calories. Your pants don't feel looser, because your tummy fills up with car loads of gas!!!

My prayers are with Beth. I hate cancer and what it does to people. And I pray for you for your continuing strength as Beth's devoted friend and soft place to land.

And finally, your post is so true. What seems to be ironic is how we give others this advice but may not follow it ourselves as if we are made of bionic matter!! We were just talking today about changing from going to a little medical center across the road because it is handy just to run over. You basically need to go in and tell the PA what script you want written! She is kind but must go through script pads by the dozen. Thanks for the kick in the butt!!

 

[baychef]

My new best friend.

Some times those young whipper snappers finally realize that 50 is the new 20 that feels like the old 50!!!