Supporting a Friend with Cancer: Tips and Resources from KG

[Kitchen Diva]

KG, a while back I remember you and someone else (was it Rae?) were talking in a thread about cancer... in that thread you spoke of a book that you had read, and maybe some other things that would be really helpful to someone going through cancer.

I have a friend from high school- she's 31 years old and a mother of 3. She just had a double mastectomy and is going through chemo and is very weary and, well, feels like crap and it's hard for her to keep the joy and keep up the fight. Her 5 year old asked her today why she still had to be sick.

I would love if you could pass on to me any information that would be helpful to her, and to me as I try to be an encouragement to her, and be a good listener.

Any help or guidance would be so appreciated.

Thanks!

 

[pampchefsarah]

Hi Kacey. I'm so sorry you and your friend (and her family) are going through this. Keep reminding her 'this too will end.' Eventually, she'll be done with chemo, and feeling like her old self, just boob-less.

My mom went through this (single mastectomy) a few years ago. Our family strongly believes in the power of laughter, so we had a 'Boob Voyage' party for her before the surgery - complete with the appropriately shaped cake (this was well before I became a PC Consultant, or I could have made the cake myself with the Small Batter Bowl, haha). You have a great sense of humor, so do what you can to get her laughing. It will not only lift her spirits, but also speed up the healing process.

In the meantime, I'll be praying for all of you.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

I think you were remembering Not Now, I'm Having a No Hair Day by Christine Clifford. It's one of several humor books that helped me get through chemo and radiation treatments, along with Anatomy of an Illness and several Calvin and Hobbs books.

 

[pampered1224]

My friend Heide had a double semi-preventative mastectomy last year and she found too that laughter, good eating and lots of friends helped her through. Lots of prayers from here were also said as well as many cards I got signed at conference. She did do a few dosses of chemo as there was a lump in one that was malignant. She told me later that the one thing that really helped her was learning some breathing techniques and relaxation excersises. Almost like the meditation UMMM thing. I will pray for your friend. That always helps.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

The first day in chemo - we called it "The Feeding Room" because it was a big room with about 15 recliners for us sickies, with a side chair for our supporters - The Kat Lady walked across the parking lot to Barnes & Noble and came back with the Christine Clifford book, Calvin and Hobbs, Erma Bombeck and a paper. I was reading Christine Clifford and The Kat Lady was reading Calvin and Hobbs. There was a sweet little old lady across from me with her daughter, and you could tell that she was a long-time veteran of the chemo wars. The daughter kept looking at us with some disgust and finally said to her mother (not realizing we could hear her) "What is wrong with those people? Don't they know how serious this is? All they do is laugh!"Yup. You can't take life to seriously because you're never going to get out of it alive, anyway.

 

[raebates]

My buddy took a lot of flack for her humor during her cancer battle. She named the tumor Charlie. She named the chemo IV pole Stanley Steel Pole. Her port was Penelope. She knew it was serious. She took it very seriously but with a good, healthy dose of humor. I think that's why she did really well until the last couple of weeks of her battle.

 

[Crystal Patton]

Hey, laughter is the best medicine!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

My buddy took a lot of flack for her humor during her cancer battle. She named the tumor Charlie. She named the chemo IV pole Stanley Steel Pole. Her port was Penelope.

She knew it was serious. She took it very seriously but with a good, healthy dose of humor. I think that's why she did really well until the last couple of weeks of her battle.

That's a bittersweet kind of funny! I'm with her - my central line was a Hickman Catheter, so I named it Dwayne. (You either have to be named Zelda or be over a certain age to get the joke.)

 

[Crystal Patton]

That's a bittersweet kind of funny! I'm with her - my central line was a Hickman Catheter, so I named it Dwayne. (You either have to be named Zelda or be over a certain age to get the joke.)

Cool, I don't get the joke!

 

[raebates]

That's a bittersweet kind of funny! I'm with her - my central line was a Hickman Catheter, so I named it Dwayne. (You either have to be named Zelda or be over a certain age to get the joke.)

You don't think Nick at Night and TV Land have made Dobie Gillis fans of the younger generation? Good stuff, Maynard.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Maynard G. Gilligan.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

KG et al, thanks for all the info. I totally forgot I started this thread because I've been so busy. I just got an update from my friend tonight, and the chemo is wearing her out, she got a shot for her white blood count and something else. Her oldest has strep so has to stay with her grandparents, so that my friend doesn't get sick.

I think I'll order that book for her and mail it off as a surprise. Thanks again for the tips and advice.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Kacey, another resource I forgot to mention in this thread is the National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship. Unlike the ACS and other cancer-fighting organizations, the NCCS is an advocacy group for, and keeps their focus on, cancer survivors. The Cancer Survival Toolbox is available for the asking. Click on the above links to learn more about this group and to order a Toolbox.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Kacey, another resource I forgot to mention in this thread is the National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship. Unlike the ACS and other cancer-fighting organizations, the NCCS is an advocacy group for, and keeps their focus on, cancer survivors.

The Cancer Survival Toolbox is available for the asking.

Click on the above links to learn more about this group and to order a Toolbox.

Thank you so much for that info, and link.