Rescheduling a Party for Respect: The Cultural Tradition of a One Month Mass

[ChefBeckyD]

Just talked to a host who had a show scheduled for March 3 - she called to reschedule, because her uncle died this month, and that date is just before the 1 month Mass date....and she feels it would be disrespectful to have a party before then.

Okay - I've heard of a Mass on the year anniversary, but not at one month - I'm not trying to be disrespectful - just curious - is this a common practice? This is a large Italian family (they own several Italian restaurants and Pizza Places in the area), so I also wondered if it was a more cultural than religious?

She rescheduled for the 17th, so I am all set that way - just being curious!

 

[rennea]

I have never heard of this myself Becky. Intrested to know if anybody else has though.

 

[wadesgirl]

Never heard that one, very interesting.

 

[baychef]

All I can think of is that someone is having a mass said for him on the one month anniversary. Not a Catholic "must do" as far as I ever remember...but then again...there are thousands of "must do" and "don't you dare" rules for Catholics.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

All I can think of is that someone is having a mass said for him on the one month anniversary. Not a Catholic "must do" as far as I ever remember...but then again...there are thousands of "must do" and "don't you dare" rules for Catholics.

That is exactly what is happening - I had just never heard of it before. I'm not Catholic, but have friends and relatives who are......

 

[baychef]

I was raised Catholic...we will leave it at that!! (a whole nuther post that would sure to cause controvery!!)

I too have never heard of having it timed on the one month anniversary. Usually, the family tries to gather and attend the mass together.

 

[chefann]

It sounds like the old practice of full mourning, in which there were to be no parties or gatherings during the first month after the death. But that's an OLD custom. (Really old. As in, referenced in the Regency (1810's-1830's) romance novels that end up piled around my house.)Unless it's a custom in her family, and she's trying to keep it alive. (sorry- no pun intended)

 

[ChefBeckyD]

It sounds like the old practice of full mourning, in which there were to be no parties or gatherings during the first month after the death. But that's an OLD custom. (Really old. As in, referenced in the Regency (1810's-1830's) romance novels that end up piled around my house.)

Unless it's a custom in her family, and she's trying to keep it alive. (sorry- no pun intended)

Do you think because they are Italian Catholic, there may be more adherence to older customs? And when I say Italian Catholic, I mean some of the family actually still lives in Italy......and there are priests in the family......

 

[chefann]

Maybe. Not being Italian, I can't say for sure. But, hey - she rescheduled instead of cancelling, so it's still good.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Maybe. Not being Italian, I can't say for sure.

But, hey - she rescheduled instead of cancelling, so it's still good.

Yeah - she really really wants the 12" family skillet.....she thinks it would be perfect for meatballs!


I'm definitely not doing anything "Italian" for her show. She said it has been a rough month for her family, and she is sick of the snow and cold, and her DH just had an accident on an icy road, and the repair shop is out of loaner cars, and it is going to be 2 weeks before they can get to their car....(because of the incredible # of accidents here this winter) so I told her we would think of something nice and Spring-like for her show. She thought that sounded great.....so do you know of any spring like recipes that feature the 12" family skillet(Executive)?

 

[chefdiana2007]

You could do the grapefruit chicken salad and use the 12" skillet. Or a pineapple upside down cake in the skillet.

 

[chefcaroline]

Remember that will also be St. Patrick's Day, so you could do something green.

 

[chefann]

Anything with sauteed chicken in it. But, yeah, the pineapple upside down cake sounds really good. Or the sloppy joes from the power cooking, because they're a kinda picnicky food.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Ohhh, the salad and the pineapple cake both sound so good! Guests at the Power Cooking show I did on Sat loved the Sloppy Joes - even the hosts DH, who doesn't like ketchup, liked them!

 

[etteluap70PC]

Do you think because they are Italian Catholic, there may be more adherence to older customs? And when I say Italian Catholic, I mean some of the family actually still lives in Italy......and there are priests in the family......

Yes this definetly could be part of it.

I come from an Italian/Irish Catholic family and my aunt went to church every day My grandmother went every chance she could.

 

[cathyskitchen]

It's definitely an Italian/Catholic thing. I'm Irish and Italian - Catholic on both sides - and just when I think one side is more "severe" in their leanings, the other pokes out to be even more so!

 

[chefannie]

Straight from the horses mouth...:love: OK here is the answer everyone has been looking for - straight from the horses mouth (I never in a millon years thought I would be saying that about myself but here goes). I am a first generation italian catholic girl (try going to Catholic grammer school, all girls Catholic High School and having extremely stict Italian parents! That is a whole different post on a different site I am sure. Anyway I digress -

Yes it is customary in the Italian/Catholic faith that when someone passes away on the month anniversary of their death a mass is held in their honor. Then another mass is held also on their six month and one year anniversary.

Depending how religious they are will also serve as guidelines for how long they will wear black. I never understood the black thing (except that for the curvy woman that I am black clothes hide a multitude of sins) I don't understand how wearing black honors the deceased. However, as I said earlier my mother was very traditional and when she passed away I wore black for six months only at of respect for her as she would have wanted me to do so. However, the loss is still felt to this day.

Anyway that is my explanation. If you have any other questions regarding Italian/Catholic customs don't hesitate to ask.
Annie

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Ahhh, Annie! Thank you so much! You have finally satisfied my curiosity.