Possibly the Most Insecure Guy in the World

[susanr613]

I had a third date tonight with someone who verbally just shot himself in both feet and probably every other appendage.

During our first date, I did notice that he talked about himself a lot and didn't seem too interested in what I had to say. OK I'll give him a second chance.

Second date was a little better, plus I had a couple glasses of wine.

Third date and OMG I am ready to never see him again. Here are a few examples...

Talking about work..."I only make one mistake a year."

Tallking about how it's hard to proofread your own work..."Not me. I have no problem with that."

When I said I didn't want DS to go into the military and be at risk for being killed/injured or killing others...."I was in the Army" "No you weren't you were in ROTC" "Well....I did learn how to fight...I rappelled down a mountain, etc etc..." "Yes, but you didn't have to kill anyone" OK Cheffers, I thought he was being very disrespectful to those who actually HAVE put their lives at risk for the rest of us. Please correct me if I'm wrong, as I am not from a military family.

Then....he talked about how he thought he was losing muscle mass in his legs (he cycles as a serious hobby)....and wanted me to feel his leg!!! EWWWW!!!! :yuck:

Those of you who are married, be happy! I'm ready to pour myself a glass of wine, make some popcorn and watch TV....forever!!!

 

[BlessedWifeMommy]

So sorry Susan, enjoy your wine!

 

[candiejayne]

Yep, I'd tell him to take a flying leap and tell him hope your legs are strong enough to catch yourself... You are way better than him... You deserve MUCH better! Good thing you realized pretty soon into things.

 

[DebbieJ]

oh my! so sorry you had to endure that!

 

[pamperedlinda]

ick! I hope you at least had a good meal.

 

[susanr613]

It was just OK Linda...plus the leg feeling thing happened at the end. Thank God I have a strong stomach!

In retrospect it's very funny, which is why I posted.

 

[WLMcCoy]

Very disrespectful.. I'm an USAF brat, my dad fought in the Gulf War. I would take offense.. Is that what he thinks the military does? learns how to repel down mountains? GRRR!

I hope the wine was good! =)

 

[chefsteph07]

This cracked me up, sorry you had to endure this!
How did you end the date? Is he under the impression he's going to see you again?

 

[kcjodih]

Only makes one mistake a year, doesn't have a problem with proofreading his own work, thinks mountain rappelling is the same as military duty and wants you to feel his leg? Hmmm, wonder why HE'S single?

Run Forrest, Run!

 

[pcsharon1]

Okay first, as an army wife, ROTC and the army are NOT the same thing.

Second, as an army recruiters wife - there are a lot of benefits to the military. Yes, there is always a risk - as with any job, but certainly much more obvious and immediate than most - but there are a lot of good things and they are worth finding out all the information rather than making a judgement based on one area. I'm not personally offended and you are certainly entitled to your opinion as a mother - I have a two year old son and my constant running answer to "are you saving for college?" is "no, he's getting into WestPoint!" but I know how hard my husband works and how frustrated he gets when he calls a home and he is told by the parent "you aren't sending my son/daughter off to be killed you ******** (imagine any foul name you can think of here)" Just a reminder to view all the options there are.

Okay, off my soap box. I personally dislike our recruiting assignment to a degree I never imagined and it is tearing our marriage apart, so that is why I am a little touchy about it. They just reduced his hours - made a really big deal out of it - and now he only works 65-72 hours a week. We have always loved the army, been army for nearly 15 years, and I want desperately to get back to a regular duty station. Then again, maybe it's just New Jersey!

On a lighter note, I never dated so I have no idea what you go through. Sometimes I wish I did. But we got married stright out of high school. But some guy telling me to feel his leg would not get high marks from me and may have left my dinner on his shoes.

 

[pcchefjane]

Hmmm...It's guys like that that turned me against dating! I haven't dated in 6 years and really don't miss it! I figure at 56, I am so set in my ways that unless God brings me a strong Christian man who knows how to treat a lady like "the bride of Christ", I'll stay single!Maybe you can just "ignore" all his calls until he gets the hint! Sad thing is, he probably will think it is you and not him...

 

[princessmeshelle]

Let that guy tell me he was Army and did the same stuff as my DH. I don't think so. :grumpy: Let him say that to any soldier and he'll get laughed at. Let him say that to a Military spouse and he might get his butt kicked. No wonder he is single! I agree with Jodi,
RUN FOREST! RUN!

 

[raebates]

Well, Susan, at least you were able to get a laugh out of it. What a twiddlehead.

 

[pampered.chris]

Wow. Susan I am so sorry you had to deal with that. It is kinda funny, but also not funny at all. I too have had my share of bad dates, and am very thankful that I am no longer dating. Best of luck!!

 

[LeslieSGI]

Only makes one mistake a year, doesn't have a problem with proofreading his own work, thinks mountain rappelling is the same as military duty and wants you to feel his leg? Hmmm, wonder why HE'S single?

Run Forrest, Run!

LOL!! Too funny!​

 

[susanr613]

thanks for letting me vent to you guys and get your view on the ROTC vs being in the army thing. Sharon, thank you also for expanding on the army experience, and I am sorry that DHs current assignment is not good for your family.

DS is 12...when he gets old enough to decide his path, I will let him know my opinion but I am not the type to force him to do anything. If he does decide to join the armed forces, I will show support and pride in public and cry and worry in private.

With regard to mr. thinks he's perfect, i got a "thanks for another lovely date" e-mail from him. <sigh> i guess i'll have to be the bad guy.....and i will try to be kind about it

again, thanks for laughing along with me!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

thanks for letting me vent to you guys and get your view on the ROTC vs being in the army thing. Sharon, thank you also for expanding on the army experience, and I am sorry that DHs current assignment is not good for your family.

DS is 12...when he gets old enough to decide his path, I will let him know my opinion but I am not the type to force him to do anything. If he does decide to join the armed forces, I will show support and pride in public and cry and worry in private.

With regard to mr. thinks he's perfect, i got a "thanks for another lovely date" e-mail from him. <sigh> i guess i'll have to be the bad guy.....and i will try to be kind about it

again, thanks for laughing along with me!

The sad thing is - he has no idea how offensive he was!


Before I was married (and I waited until I was in my mid-thirties to marry, just for reasons like this guy!) a good friend and her husband set me up on a date with this guy that they said was "just perfect" for me.

He was a police officer, and all he did during the evening was talk about his gun (had to pull it out to show it to me!) and how safe I'd be with him....and then talk about his weightlifting, and how much he could bench-press, and then he pulled up his shirt sleeve and flexed for me, and wanted me to feel his muscle - in the middle of restaurant! I remember saying something like "No, thanks, I can see it's big..." (so, it's not as bad as feeling his leg, Susan, but I understand the concept!)

I was most ticked-off at my friends! I called them that night to ask them how they ever thought he was just perfect for me?!

 

[babywings76]

No wonder he is still single if that is his approach with women! Let's see...full of himself, shallow, insensitive, oblivious to the feelings of the person he's "dating". Clueless, clueless man! Guys like that just baffle my mind. It's like the male bird, or rooster, they just prance around showing off their stuff and that's all it takes to get a mate. They wish it was just like that!

 

[heather223]

WOW- Sorry you had to go through that Susan. And like everyone else said- he wonders why he is single?

 

[vwpamperedchef]

You should reply "I make several mistakes a year, you happened to be one of them" LOL

Seriously that was mean, but I feel sorry for those of you in the dating scene. I know its very hard for my friends in their late 30s...

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

With regard to mr. thinks he's perfect, i got a "thanks for another lovely date" e-mail from him. <sigh> i guess i'll have to be the bad guy.....and i will try to be kind about it

Men are like parking places - the good ones are all taken and the ones that are left are either handicapped or too far out.

Just tell him that you've been transferred to Calais, Maine to watch over your boss' fleet of lobster boats and you won't be able to see him anymore.

 

[susanr613]

LOL I'm not that creative KG. As tempted as I was to tell him the truth, I emailed him that I am still not over a previous relationship and can't focus on him. "It's not you, it's me" is a time-tested way to shut the door without hitting the guy in the keister.

 

[jbdowd0798]

Susan I'm sorry you had to go through the pain of the dates with this guy. But I just had to laugh- Gross why would you want to touch him!??!

From a military spouse- I agree- Yes we'd kick is butt and then some while our spouses would look at him and just shake their heads at this sorry piece of flesh of a guy.

 

[janetupnorth]

Oh Susan...sorry it was crappy, but thanks for the laugh! Hugs to you...hopefully there is a good decent guy out there somewhere for you.When DH and I have the conversation of "what if something happens to you". DH INSISTS that I go get married again and be happy. I keep telling him I don't think I could marry again. He's such a perfect mate that I couldn't find someone like him and by that time, I won't want to change! LOL! I just tell him I'll enjoy my kids and friends and life will go on...I never want to picture DH without me but know he'd almost HAVE to get married...he wouldn't want to ever handle the kids without me.This makes me thankful for a great guy and marriage!P.S. Been there on the dates though...had one with a guy who drove me by a house he claimed to own (yet couldn't go in and still stayed at his parents...hmm...), lied about his age (don't lie to me about ANYTHING), and much, much more. He kissed me after the date and I was totally repulsed (and tempted to kick him low...). Don't want to relive dating...

 

[Crystal Patton]

You should reply "I make several mistakes a year, you happened to be one of them" LOL

Seriously that was mean, but I feel sorry for those of you in the dating scene. I know its very hard for my friends in their late 30s...

LOL I love it!!!

 

[peichef]

Oh Susan... you just re-affirmed my belief that if anything ever happens to my DH, I am NEVER dating.

I hope you had a great glass of wine & some choclate to go with your popcorn - lol. Next Monday, just stay home to watch The Bachelor -- it will make you feel sooooo much better about your own dating life!

Or.... maybe we can nominate YOU to be the next Bachelorette!?!? Whadya say!?!?!

 

[Jean DeVries]

Stories like this are why I don't date.

Yeah. That's it.

Yeah.

(ok, not so much....)

At least, based on the fact that you got a date in the first place, and you were pleasant enough to warrant an email with the word lovely in it, you know you're not some sort of circus freak leper.

Some of us can't even get that far....

 

[janetupnorth]

Jean - you crack me up!Just comfort yourself with the fact that Susan is in a more populated area...

 

[susanr613]

Jean you made me laugh too! And yes, Chicagoland is a lot more populated with men...if course many of THEM are circus freaks! In the past 2 years, I have met Forrest Gump (only Forrest is more articulate), The Man with No Life (um what do I like to do when I'm not working? I dunno), and now The Most Insecure Man in the World (I make one mistake a year).

I wrote him the "it's not you it's me" email and he responded that he'll be there when I need him and signed it "Love" Fortunately I had an empty stomach so I didn't ruin my carpets.

I think I'm going back to divorcee Plan A - hang out with friends, meet new ones through PC, enjoy DS and make it through the surly teen years...then book myself into the nicest old age home I can find

 

[janetupnorth]

Until Then - author unknown"I love you my child, and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me—exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me expecting the greatest things. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must wait.Don’t be anxious and don’t worry. Don’t look around at the things you think you want. Just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you’ll miss what I have to show you.And then, when you are ready, I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would ever dream. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready, I am working this minute to have both of you ready at the same time. And until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I’ve prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and this is Perfect Love.And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with Myself. Know I love you. I am God Almighty, believe and be satisfied… "

 

[susanr613]

Thanks for the reminder Janet. I do try to live according that, and have again learned my lesson ;-)

 

[rennea]

Sorry about the bad date Susan. At least it gives you something interesting to talk and laugh about.LOL!

I really do feel for you though, there are a lot of single people at work and I get to hear their stories. I always wonder what the heck I would do if I was single again.

 

[raebates]

It's been a few years since I dated. The Furry Guy and I will celebrate 24 years married at the end of next month. The dating disaster stories reminded me of a a blind date I had once. I was living with my parents after my divorce. A couple I knew set me up with their nephew. They really wanted me to be a part of their family. The two things that really kept me from accepting any additional dates were:He walked in, looked around (this was early December), and said, "Wow, your mom really over decorates for Christmas." Oh, if he could only see my house at Christmas. We had both recently lost a significant amount of weight. I said something about working hard to maintain my weight. He looked me in the eye and said, "So, then you're happy at the weight you are now." I must admit that it took me a few minutes to register the fact that he clearly didn't think I should be. I didn't bother to tell my friends that their nephew insulted my parents' home and called me fat. I did, however, conveniently manage to be busy whenever he called. I still can't believe he called several times. Guess I should be happy he didn't ask me to feel anything. LOL!

 

[susanr613]

Wow Rae! It's amazing how clueless people can be!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Maybe you could try Sean Hannity's http://hannidate.hannity.com/- it might be a most enlightening experience for you.

 

[raebates]

Maybe you could try Sean Hannity's http://hannidate.hannity.com/- it might be a most enlightening experience for you.

I'm guessing you're talking to Susan. The Furry Guy frowns on my dating.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Well, yes as a matter of fact but I bet she doesn't have a spiffy hot tub like you do.

 

[raebates]

No one else has a spiffy hot tub like mine.

 

[tlag1986]

You should reply "I make several mistakes a year, you happened to be one of them" LOL

I love what you have said. I wish dating for all was easier, but as we age so do the available men that should discourage all of the available women.

 

[pamperedlinda]

My next door neighbor is quite the catch (that is serious, not joking with you) - wanna move to GA? Or just come for a visit and see if you like the scenery?

 

[susanr613]

Golly KG thanks for the tip on Hannidate....I think I will take a pass ;-)

No one has quite the hot tub you do Rae!

Linda, maybe one day I will come out and visit you in person...by which time your neighbor will likely have been snagged by a very nice lady ;-)

 

[candiejayne]

I hate being single, just the thought of having to date again makes me sick. I've had a good number of doozies!

One guy, I met while camping with a friend. He seemed nice enough, and I agreed to go on a date with him. After a few weeks of seeing him, and always meeting at either his trailer at the camp ground (on the weekends), or in a public place (during the week), I finally found out that he was actually homeless and living in the campground, at first he just told me that he really liked the outdoors and camped most of the summer. That didn't go over so well with me. Especially when I found out he was living that way because an ex kicked him out after he cheated on her and she walked in on him.

I also met another guy who seemed nice at first, that was until he proposed to me on the 3rd date... yeah, wasn't feeling that one.

 

[pamperedlinda]

You never know Susan. He's recently divorced (I swear his ex is gay, but none of us have the nerve to bring it up to him...) and he's kind of in lust right now - I'll let you know when that's over and he's starting to think about a real relationship...LOL!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

You never know Susan. He's recently divorced (I swear his ex is gay, but none of us have the nerve to bring it up to him...) and he's kind of in lust right now - I'll let you know when that's over and he's starting to think about a real relationship...LOL!

When that's over, you'll be attending his viewing.

 

[pamperedlinda]

When that's over, you'll be attending his viewing.

Nah...he's a great guy (he just needs a little lustful attention)

 

[pampered1224]

Ouch! Nothing like a good schmuck!
Susan, take Linda up on that. I think she has a very good instinct for character! Heck she likes me! (oops now I know I goofed!) But no, seriously - she could have been Dolly! The matchmaker extraordinaire! She has some sort of radar and it works!

 

[pamperedlinda]

...... she could have been Dolly! The matchmaker extraordinaire! She has some sort of radar and it works!

I was thinking that you meant Dolly Parton - and I'm thinking to myself - geeze, John sure needs to get his eyes checked! LOL

I do like you boyfriend!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

I hate being single, just the thought of having to date again makes me sick. I've had a good number of doozies!

One guy, I met while camping with a friend. He seemed nice enough, and I agreed to go on a date with him. After a few weeks of seeing him, and always meeting at either his trailer at the camp ground (on the weekends), or in a public place (during the week), I finally found out that he was actually homeless and living in the campground, at first he just told me that he really liked the outdoors and camped most of the summer. That didn't go over so well with me. Especially when I found out he was living that way because an ex kicked him out after he cheated on her and she walked in on him.

I also met another guy who seemed nice at first, that was until he proposed to me on the 3rd date... yeah, wasn't feeling that one.

Okay, for some reason, that just tickled my funny bone! I mean, it wasn't so great for you...did he think you wouldn't find out? Clueless male!

But, it made me laugh, because I had a picture of that Motivational Speaker sketch with Chris Farley from SNL...where he is talking to those kids about living in a van down by the river. (okay - it's funny in my head....not so much when I type it out!)

 

[ChefBeckyD]

I was thinking that you meant Dolly Parton - and I'm thinking to myself - geeze, John sure needs to get his eyes checked! LOL

I do like you boyfriend!

Ahhh, see - we've been watching Wall-E so much around here, that I knew who he meant right away.

Hello, Dolly! (um, I mean Linda...)

 

[Crystal Patton]

I think it's awesome that you give your date a couple of attempts before you kick him to the curb. I didn't usually do this but for some reason I did with DH. He broke ALL my "rules" and there was no way I'd ever end up with a guy like him, he was soo not my type. We just celebrated our 10 year annv. on Dec 18 2008. Which makes me the longest running wife! LOL