Need Advice – in a Quandary (Long)

[pamperedpals]

I am looking for some advice and you can give it to me straight, because I am a big girl and can handle it. I actually think I need it!

I have been wavering with whether or not to continue with my business. So here is a little bit of back ground. I had a wonderful May scheduled with 8 cooking shows and 6 catalog shows. This was following a $2000 April. Well, my total sales for May were $168 and it was my all fault. I didn’t follow up with any of my hostess, (yes, this is the time you can start going “You did what!?”) My sales for May are from a show closing from April a month later (long story, which I won’t go into.)

I am feeling so overwhelmed with everything. Life is so very hectic right now, I can hardly see straight and it is going to get worse before it get’s any better. I hardly have the energy to get up in the morning to go to work, let alone, pick up the two youngest DS’ from daycare (M &T), get dinner fixed (what’s that?), keep up with the household chores, feed the animals (we live on a small 5 acre farm), spend time with the kiddos before they go to bed and try to spend time with my DH before I go to bed. I don't even know what personal time is, except when I am driving back and forth to work.

Everywhere I look my house is a mess, very cluttered and I can’t stand it! I don’t even know where to start to start decluttering and try to get it somewhat organized, so I don’t feel like I am walking into the remnants of a hurricane when I come home.

Then to top everything off, my DH and I are going to fight for sole custody of my oldest DS and we go see the attorney tomorrow. On Thursday, I see an orthopedic doctor for my shoulder that has been bothering me for a month and a half. They are talking about exploratory surgery. We won’t even go into the financial side of my life. I will say, I am so glad DS is almost out of school, it will save us $300 a week in gas.:sing:

However, when it comes to my business I really love and enjoy meeting everyone and working with my hostesses (when I do.) I just don’t know if I can deal with one more thing. I have thought about just doing one show a week through the summer, rather than trying to do 2-3 a week on top of my 40 hr a week job.

I know some of you may be thinking I am depressed, well, I am taking my meds. I have also been trying to get in with a counselor through my work for two months and I am getting no where. I just want to curl up into a ball and cry and sleep, because I don’t think, I can handle one more thing at this time.

I have tried talking to DH and he tells me to do whatever I want and he will stand behind me. I like coming here, because you all are familiar with the ups and downs that happen with our PC lives and I trust and value your input. Okay, I’m done now. I am open to any advice any of you want to give. Like I said earlier, I’m a big girl and can take it.

 

[DebbieJ]

(((LAURIE))))Don't make any big decisions right now. Do enough to stay active and let you life settle down first. Then you can re-evaluate.I know it's hard sometimes--it would be nice if we could press pause on everything else while we catch up, but unfortunately it doesn't work that way! LOL Hang in there. This too shall pass.

 

[Kristina21]

Take a deep breath! *in..out...in...out* ok maybe take a few. I feel for ya, when life decides its time to dump everything on you..it does! Everyone gets down with their business at some point in time. I only have advice for your house and the de-clutter process (cuz I don't have kids or anything) I freak out when my house gets icky, and I have to stop myself from looking at it as a whole picture. Some times it's hard to do. Just do one little piece at a time. Someone on here suggested Flylady.com...which helped me a immensely!Don't worry about May's sales anymore...this is June now and a fresh start!

 

[Sheila]

First of all, big HUGS to you! It sounds like you have your plate VERY full.

You mentioned your DH is supportive, but said you are fighting with your DH over custody ... I'm assuming the custody battle is with an ex-DH? I'm so sorry that you have to fight with him. I know that is adding quite a bit of stress in your life. My step-sister and her 3 sons moved in with me when her husband decided that cocaine was more important than raising a family. She had to fight him for custody. It was long, drawn out and very exhausting! If your son is old enough, won't the judge ask him for his opinion on where he would prefer to live?

In reference to the house, if you can get it in order, it would probably help you in feeling more upbeat. Can you get your DH & kids to help a little each day to make a dent? I know you mentioned money is going to be tight, so if the clutter is too overwhelming to tackle on your own, look at flylady.com for some suggestions or maybe even write the show "Clean Sweep" and see if they will come help you?

I'm glad you are taking your meds, but you still may want to address your concerns about your frustrated state with your Dr. With the added stress of the custody battle, you may need a higher dose ... or you may have built a tolerance to the current medication and might need to try a new one.

Can your DH help out a little more with the household chores for a couple of weeks and let you have 30 min's or an hour to yourself each day? That will go a long way in helping you to regain some sanity.

If you can find the $, you might want to take a Saturday afternoon and go get a massage. That will definitely give you a short time of relaxation therapy.

Since you feel you can't continue with your current workload, I would suggest cutting back your PC hours and see if that helps. Since money is going to be an issue with your shoulder, I don't think you would want to quit PC all together.

Again, BIG HUGS! It's important to devote time to your family, but your mental and physical well being is just as important. I hope you can find a few small solutions to start removing the pile off stress from your shoulders.

 

[sfdavis918]

I agree. Sit down for two minutes and just take a breath.

As far as your business goes right now, can you just do enough to keep you active until things settle down a bit more? Maybe more like one show a month instead of one a week? Although, one a week would help a bit more with the financial aspect of life.

Then with the decluttering. Can you just take 15 minutes (or 10, or even 5) per day and do a little? Seriously, set a timer and work for 15 and when it goes off just stop. That's it for the day. Tomorrow you can do another 15. Before you know it you will see progress. When it gets overwhelming for me I stand at my front door and turn left (because I can't go right) and that's where I start. I work for 15 minutes and stop. Maybe I only make it to the TV (which is on the same wall as the front door). That's ok because tomorrow I'll start at the TV and work to the couch (on the next wall) and so on until I have made it all around the house.

Good Luck!!

 

[chefsteph07]

As I was reading your post, before you said something about being depressed, that was what I was thinking...that you are going through something...whether you are taking meds or not, maybe it's not working as well as it should...and you should talk to someone about getting on something different.

I understand where you are coming from, last summer at this time I was going through some personal things and I almost went inactive...I just didn't care anymore, I didn't have any shows for the summer, I pretty much did what I had scheduled and never asked for any more bookings from any of the guests...then I went to conference and got a swift kick in the rump from myself and said "this is ridiculous! You love PC and you aren't going to let anything keep you from it!" and I booked shows for the fall right there in Chicago before I left and that brought me out of my funk. It might not be that easy for you, but I think if you take things one day at a time, enlist help from family (they NEED to help!)!

I hope you make the best decision you can, and if all else fails, maybe you can take a leave from PC until you decide what it is you want to do , that way you won't go inactive or lose your career sales. I would do that before I just quit, esp if you are on the fence about it.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Don't worry about PC right now...First of all I will pray for you. (Did you mean to say your EX DH is trying to get custody of your oldest son? I was confused when you mentioned wanting to spend time with your DH, and that he supports you, but he's trying to take DS away from you.)

Secondly, I will pray for you again and some more! It never ceases to amaze me how God works through some of the people on this website when they start praying for you!

Just take it one moment at a time, and one day at a time, and as far as the clutter- just tidy one small section of a room each day- the worst thing you can do is do nothing. Don't give into your flesh which is screaming RETREAT!-Fall Back!!! Do not surrender to this oppression and FIGHT- fight for you- your son- your quality of life, your marriage, your tidy house- your energy- time with your kids- simple meals at dinner- FIGHT!!!

Set your mind that you will be victorious and you will not be turned into a whimperimg blob that just wants to stay in bed all day. I guess I'm just trying to say don't give in to the sadness and the overwhelmness of it all- I know that is easier said than done, but the mind is a wonderful thing and it can rule over our weak flesh better than we think it can.

I understand just how you feel because I am going through more than I feel I can handle right now myself- but I will say this...my faith in God has sustained me, and coming here to vent to fellow cheffers has helped.

I am so sorry that you have so much on your plate right now- it isn't fun and I know that at times I felt like I was going to drown. I would come here to vent and get some encouragement and I'd feel better and then I'd get hit with another stressful or terrible thing and it was like a vicious cycle. I finally said ENOUGH! I was NOT going to let all this crap weigh me down and send me running for my blanket and my thumb! I had my time to feel sad and upset- and then it's like I just snapped and wasn't going to put up with it anymore and a huge weight was lifted off me- then I put on my armour and decided I was going to fight this- and it isn't easy, and I'm tired and some days I'm very battle weary. I have to run to God for strength and grace and wisdom and understanding, and peace... and He has not failed me!

Fight those negative emotions and thought patterns, fight those desires to want to stick your head in the sand and crawl under the covers, fight that panic when you look at the clutter and don't know where to begin- you are better than all this that is happening to you and you can do this! Ask for help, enlist your kids, just one small task at a time.

I will leave you with this last bit of wisdom...It is a small excerpt from a book I am reading called God's Creative Power-

"It is a SPIRITUAL LAW that God never does anything without saying it first. God is a faith God. God released His faith in Words-Words are containers. They carry faith, or fear, and they produce after their kind... These principles of faith are based on spiritual laws. They work for whosoever will apply these laws. You set them in motion by the words of your mouth. Do you really want all the negative things you have been confessing to come to pass? Are you believing for those things? If Jesus came to you personally and said, from this day forward it will come to pass, that everything you say will happen exactly as you say it; would that change your vocabulary?"


Here are some paraphrased verses written to be said as if you are speaking them about you or your situation.

I will fear no evil for thou art with me Lord, your Word and your Spirit they comfort me (Psalm 23:4)

I am far from oppression and fear does not come nigh me (Isaiah 54:14)

No weapon formed against me shall prosper, for my righteousness is of the Lord. But whatever I do will prosper for I'm like a tree that's planted by the rivers of water (Isaiah 54:17; Psalms 1:3)

No evil will befall me neither shall any plague come nigh my dwelling. For the Lord has given His angels charge over me and they keep me in all my ways, and in my pathways is life and there is no death (Psalms 91:10-11; Proverbs 12:28)

----------------------------

I am a huge believer that the Lord does allow situations to come upon us in order for us to get our eyes and our minds back where they need to be- which is on HIM! It's funny- you would think with all the practice I've had that I wouldn't keep making the mistake of taking my eyes off Him even for a second!

Prayers are with you! We love you here!!!

 

[janetupnorth]

Laurie - I agree with some of the advice above.I too get frustrated when messes get to a point and seem overwhelming. I had this happen a few months ago. I had to talk to my DH and say, "I can't handle it" (Wow, those are tough words to choke out). Please just clean it all up while I am gone. This was the kids bedroom, living room and kitchen. I came home to things looking great and could then continue. Anything I didn't trust him to clean, I had him put in a box for me to sort later, but the clutter was all gone.You can't always be super-mom and wife. If you have a DH that is willing to stand by you, don't be afraid to ask for help with dinner, etc. once in awhile!Find some easy meals to make...make breakfast for dinner - scrambled eggs are quick and easy...have some pizzas, grill some burgers fast, crockpot some meals, try some powercooking recipes.I don't know how old the kids are but talk to them a bit. Tell them with everything going on, Mom needs a little extra help! Give them a reward of some type for the extra help...a family picnic, some ice cream, their favorite meal.

 

[sklay723]

First of all, you should know that posting here is only going to get you support. I mean, we're all in one situation or another and can identify somehow with what you're going through. I love the fact that everyone on CS is SO friendly and helpful, and the fact that everyone stays positive is great. So you're among friends. We're the ones you can vent to and we'll help in any way we can!
Next, I agree with the person above who said to just do whatever you need to do to stay active for now. It might just be that you've hit a rough patch, and maybe things will turn around for you in the next couple of months. The great thing about this business is that you can make adjustments to suit your life and your family and your schedule. Even doing a catty show or two a month can keep you afloat. And if money is an issue for you right now, the extra income can't hurt!
Stay positive and know that somehow it will all work out. I know from experience that panicking a little isn't altogether a bad thing. But the really important thing is to learn that it's JUST as important to pull yourself together after you've had a chance to stress a bit, and put together some sort of action plan for yourself. It can even just be little things that you do to move yourself in the right direction. You know the sayings...Rome wasn't built in a day. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. They're all true! Just take it one step at a time, one day at a time, even one hour at a time. Make your list of things to do (include time for yourself and your family) and set small goals to accomplish them. Even one goal a day.
And remember...we're all here for you!!!

 

[pamperedpals]

As I sit here reading all of your reply's I'm crying from the amount of support you all offer to someone you don't even know. That is why I love this site so much. :love:

To answer a common question, yes, it is my ex-DH that I will be battling for custody of my DS with.

When I get home tonight, I am going to re-read the advice all of you have offerred and go from there. You all are absolutely WONDERFUL people and thank you for taking the time to offer your advice.

Make it a blessed day!

 

[chefann]

Do you have a slow cooker? That can be a real life saver when it comes to getting dinner ready and leaving family time. You can toss something in it in the morning, and just serve it with noodles or rice. That frees up time in the late afternoon to spend time with the kiddos, and even make cleaning up a game during that time. {{{Laurie}}} Hugs to you, as you work through this. Whatever you decide to do will be right for you - and we'll be here to support you through it.

 

[quiverfull7]

I am looking for some advice and you can give it to me straight, because I am a big girl and can handle it. I actually think I need it!

Oh my... my heart just hurts for you. SO does Jesus'! Give it all up to Him and let Him just soothe your spirit! This will all work out, even though it feels like a tornado now. It's all okay. I pray that God leads you gently to right where you need to be, that you can just rest in Him and have a calm that you maybe can't even understand but that washes over you with warmth and love. It's okay to back off and re-assess. See about what others here have mentioned and just do enough to say active until you can let things come into focus more clearly. I will urge you to go to your physician and see about some different meds... it sounds like your's just aren't quite the right fit for you right now and you may need an update. You've offered love and support to so many of us... I'm so thankful you came here to let us offer a group hug ((((HUG))))) and give us the privilege of praying for you.

 

[twinkie10]

A rash decision is not always the best. Do what you need to do to stay active... slow life down until you can handle it through God's strength... then, pray about what God would have you to do and you know you'll be doing the right thing.

I just know that we tend to put our emotions ahead of our thinking sometimes and I'd hate for you to give up on PC when this is "YOUR" free time hobby!

I'll say a prayer for you... take care and trust HIM!

 

[vwpamperedchef]

The advice that preceeded me is excellent! I will keep you and your family in my prayers...and may God give you the wisdom and courage to make your decision.

 

[chefmeg]

nothing I add will be different so I will just say to slow down where you can and know you have a boat-load of support!

 

[bsaxman]

nothing I add will be different so I will just say to slow down where you can and know you have a boat-load of support!

Yep! I will keep you and your family in my prayers! I am going through troubled times myself and can definitely identify with some of your feelings through this! Keep your chin up and know we are thinking of and praying for you! :blushing:

 

[pampchefrhondab]

Laurie - I totally understand where you are coming from and can relate so much to many of the things in your post! I have 3 kids, work another job, can't keep up w/the house, etc.!!

I too have wanted a break from PC and thought about quiting. This is also after having a great fall last year and a great start to the year;however,. my kids and family told me I was constantly getting calls and working my business, etc. I didn't think I was, but hated that it was there perspective! I have slowed way down (only had $9.50 in sales in May). I have $150 so far for June so I'm just doing enough to stay active at this point! I have not been on the phone for weeks!

I've been working on organizing! I started in February one room at a time like others have mentioned. I have given so much away to the Good Will! You just don't know how good it feels to get the things out of the house! I used to always hang on to everything worrying about there would not be enough money to replace it, etc. I don't worry anymore. If I only have 2 outfits to wear, I'll wash one the next day! I had my daughters help me. I went through my closet and asked, "Would you like to see me wear this?" If they said no, it went in the get rid of bag! It was about 3/4 of my closet! I have a lot less clothes, but so much easier to find what I want now!

I've also been painting and redecorating, which has also helped. I have picked one room a month and it has made a huge difference in my house. I'm starting to feel like I can breath! I also feel like I'm going to be ready for a busy PC fall! I have all rooms done except my living room. I've decided I'm going to go window shopping for furniture so I can have a goal for my PC money! I going to post a picture on my desk so I can get motivated!

If you don't want to/can't do enough sales to keep active, take a leave from PC. I feel that keeping things slow and just staying active and getting organized has given me the boost/break I need.

My oldest daughter graduated this past Sunday and will be leaving for Germany for almost 3 weeks. I still have her graudation party to get ready for, but I feel I am getting to the end of my big projects for this year! It feels really good to get something done. So like others have said, start small and keep at it. Some days I still get very frustrated and come home not believing how messy the house is after I worked so hard, but cleaning it and keeping it that way is so much easier now. It takes me less then 1/2 the time to clean now! It really makes a difference.

Sorry this is so long, but I hope some of it helped. I understand when you say you are not depressed, just overwhelmed, because I have been there! I think we try to blame so much on depression these days.

Take Care and let us know how you are doing.

 

[pclinskie]

I didn't even read all the responses... I just wanted to state, I feel May is worse than December. With spring activities, recititals, shows, concerts. Mothers day, memorial day weekend. weather nice so now you have to do yard work, plant flowers... teachers gifts, graduations etc.
Just take a deep breath, baby steps. This will pass. The great part of this business is you can take a break and come back to it.

 

[pampchefrhondab]

I didn't even read all the responses... I just wanted to state, I feel May is worse than December. With spring activities, recititals, shows, concerts. Mothers day, memorial day weekend. weather nice so now you have to do yard work, plant flowers... teachers gifts, graduations etc.
Just take a deep breath, baby steps. This will pass. The great part of this business is you can take a break and come back to it.

..................

Amen

 

[Jean DeVries]

If any of these things don't work, try gin & tonics.

That's what I do.

In fact, lately it seems as thought I can't handle it, and I don't even have that much "it" to handle. So tonight, I treated myself and my former future husband to drinks. Worked like a charm.

Of course, if you're not a drinker, chocolate does the same thing.....

(ok, and before I get bugged by Janet & Kitchen Diva...no, I didn't have a man. He didn't know he was my future husband. He broke my heart. Now he's my former future husband. He doesn't know that either. I just call him Paul. It's shorter to say....)

 

[wadesgirl]

If this business is important to you, then do what you need to do with it. If you need time to gather your life back, take a step back like you said (only 1 show a week) until you get in the groove again! I felt the same exact way in March... No shows on the book, sad, depressed, stress, etc. I had thought about taking a step back from my business and came here for support also. Not only did I hear encouraging words about my business but my life also! I did go see my doctor and have been doing a lot better. With your meds, you may need to be re-evaluated for your perscriptions, go visit your doctor ASAP. Also write down a list of things that are good in your life. Also revisit your reasons for doing this business.

Good luck and know we are always here for you!

 

[Nanisu]

{{{{{{{Laurie}}}}}}. It's important that you take care of yourself. If you have nothing of yourself to give, it's not worth it. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Do a show a month if you want just to keep your finger in the pie. Pampered Chef (and all of us) will always be here.

 

[janetupnorth]

If any of these things don't work, try gin & tonics.

That's what I do.

In fact, lately it seems as thought I can't handle it, and I don't even have that much "it" to handle. So tonight, I treated myself and my former future husband to drinks. Worked like a charm.

Of course, if you're not a drinker, chocolate does the same thing.....

(ok, and before I get bugged by Janet & Kitchen Diva...no, I didn't have a man. He didn't know he was my future husband. He broke my heart. Now he's my former future husband. He doesn't know that either. I just call him Paul. It's shorter to say....)

Just saw this - too funny Jean - how did you know we'd check into that...

 

[Chef Endora]

Laurie, what great advice everyone has offered. I have nothing different to add.
I too feel overwhelmed by alot of clutter. You can really accumulate alot in 40years.
I am trying to get rid of the pack-rat in me (its genetics) after all the stuff my parents had before they passed. Then, you get sentimental over their stuff too. I don't want to leave alot of nonsensical clutter for my girls to deal with someday.
I'm thinking of trying the Flylady. Remember babysteps. We are all here for you. Let us know how things are going. {{{{HUGS}}}}

 

[pamperedpals]

I first off want to say "Thank you!" to all of you. I feel like you all have given me permission to feel the way I do and it is okay. I don't know if that makes sense, but it does to me.

Last night, I decided that in regards to my house I was going to do one thing at a time and just work my way through the house. I know I will feel alot better once we get all of the kids' toy's back in there playroom and out of my living room and dining room. We have been painting and just about finished putting in the hardwood floors last night. Only have the trim left. Wahoo!

I talked to the kids and let them know that I was going to do a chore chart so everyone could help out around the house and mom didn't have to do it all. My youngest DS (2 1/2) asked if DH was going to have chores too? DH's response was "I already do."

I was able to actually cook dinner last night and get the kitchen cleaned up. It was so nice to see clean counters and no dishes in the sink. I also decided that I am going to call and request another counselor, since the one they referred me to hasn't gotten back to me for 2 months.

I also had a wonderful thing happen in regards to PC. Two of my catalog hostesses from last month, emailed me and wanted to close their shows, but wanted to change them to June, because they liked the host special better than May. I made sure they didn't have any May guest specials and they didn't so, I now will earn level 1 in the sell-a-thon. :love:

Thank you all for your support.

 

[Kitchen2u]

Power Meals ! ! ! {{{HUGS}}}

 

[Chef Endora]

Wow, things are already looking better for you. Run with that!

FlyLady & babysteps.

Now, I have to go make a path in my office.

 

[erinyourpclady]

nothing I add will be different so I will just say to slow down where you can and know you have a boat-load of support!

Ditto what the other me said! BIG HUGS to ya and we are totally here for you!

 

[erinyourpclady]

I first off want to say "Thank you!" to all of you. I feel like you all have given me permission to feel the way I do and it is okay. I don't know if that makes sense, but it does to me.

Last night, I decided that in regards to my house I was going to do one thing at a time and just work my way through the house. I know I will feel alot better once we get all of the kids' toy's back in there playroom and out of my living room and dining room. We have been painting and just about finished putting in the hardwood floors last night. Only have the trim left. Wahoo!

I talked to the kids and let them know that I was going to do a chore chart so everyone could help out around the house and mom didn't have to do it all. My youngest DS (2 1/2) asked if DH was going to have chores too? DH's response was "I already do."

I was able to actually cook dinner last night and get the kitchen cleaned up. It was so nice to see clean counters and no dishes in the sick. I also decided that I am going to call and request another counselor, since the one they referred me to hasn't gotten back to me for 2 months.

I also had a wonderful thing happen in regards to PC. Two of my catalog hostesses from last month, emailed me and wanted to close their shows, but wanted to change them to June, because they liked the host special better than May. I made sure they didn't have any May guest specials and they didn't so, I now will earn level 1 in the sell-a-thon. :love:

Thank you all for your support.

Laurie!! That is ALL fabulous!!

 

[jbachen]

Things seem to be looking up, and you have received some FABULOUS advice here! I just wanted to mention to clutter issue - I, too, am a huge pack rat. I come by it honestly - when my Mom passed away and we were cleaning out her house, we filled a 30 yard dumpster with stuff TWICE! Anyway, I have decided I am done with the clutter. Some of the stuff is easy to get rid of, and my "Round One" yard sale is June 14th. For the more difficult stuff, I am reading Peter Walsh's book (the guy from Clean Sweep), "It's All Too Much." I am hoping it will help me make the harder decisions of stuff to get rid of. I look at it this way: it is like the two step process they do in Clean Sweep. Right now I am on the first phase, which is getting rid of the easy stuff (and I am already doing better than most of the people on that show! ) For the second phase, I will reach out for help to get rid of the stuff that is not an immediate I-don't-need-that-anymore reaction.Oh, and it is important enough to us that DH took two days off from work just so he could watch the kids while I worked in our spare bedroom/junk room. If you have vacation time coming, maybe you could take a day or two to just putter around the house and get some stuff done? HTH.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

If any of these things don't work, try gin & tonics.

That's what I do.

In fact, lately it seems as thought I can't handle it, and I don't even have that much "it" to handle. So tonight, I treated myself and my former future husband to drinks. Worked like a charm.

Of course, if you're not a drinker, chocolate does the same thing.....

(ok, and before I get bugged by Janet & Kitchen Diva...no, I didn't have a man. He didn't know he was my future husband. He broke my heart. Now he's my former future husband. He doesn't know that either. I just call him Paul. It's shorter to say....)

And I was already jumping up and down for you! I'm sorry for the uber fast relationship with Paul! Want me to take him out (and I mean that in the mafia sense of the word, not the backstabbing best friend sense of the word...) and I don't bug you, I love you.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Laurie, I'm so happy about your news and that things are looking up, and you were able to make dinner, have two shows for June and that you will be calling and asking for a different counselor. One that takes 2 months to return messages is a little too unorganized or busy for me! Hugs and continued prayers!

 

[Jean DeVries]

And I was already jumping up and down for you! I'm sorry for the uber fast relationship with Paul! Want me to take him out (and I mean that in the mafia sense of the word, not the backstabbing best friend sense of the word...) and I don't bug you, I love you.

Nah.

We hung out a lot last year and were really good friends. I sent him an email telling him I was interested in more, and he completely ignored it. Never mentioned it. Two months later he was dating someone and never told me. I don't really care that he was/is dating someone else, I was more hurt that I completely poured my heart out in an email and he didn't even acknowledge it. It wasn't because he didn't care, or is some great a$$, he was probably just too nice to tell me no, and didn't have the communication skills necessary to let me down easy.

I've only recently started talking to him for other than work things. I can be friends with him, but I don't have to trust him. He got kicked out of my sandbox.

Sorry to hijack the thread

 

[pamperedpals]

Yesterday, I was just about to start making calls and trying to get my business back on track and get some show's on the books and my DH calls me from work and tells me his schedule is going to change July 1st.

He will be working T & W (10a-8p), Th (8a-6p) and F (12p-10p). I told him I might as well just quit PC now, because there is no time for me to do anything. Okay, can we say major meltdown! :cry:

I have been thinking more and more about my business and have decided to take a leave effective July 1st and see what happens during that time. I even spoke with my director last night and she is at the point, she doesn't even care if she looses her directorship, because she can only do 1 show a week now that she is working pt.

It just seems that all of the "signs" I am getting are telling to quit. However, I don't want to make any rash decisions, so I thought I could reflect on why I started my business again and if I am getting what I want out of it during my leave.

Thank you all for you wonderful advice. It keeps me going.

 

[janetupnorth]

Look at it this way Laurie - you still have Mondays and Saturdays!...and if it is a good show, it may be worth a sitter. Don't neglect giving yourself time outside of the house. A PC show may give you a needed break from the housework once in awhile. Keep an open mind and see how things go.

 

[chefmeg]

Look at it this way Laurie - you still have Mondays and Saturdays!

...and if it is a good show, it may be worth a sitter.

Don't neglect giving yourself time outside of the house. A PC show may give you a needed break from the housework once in awhile. Keep an open mind and see how things go.

this is the bottom line Laurie....take the leave if you must and just try to get a few ducks in a row, not all of them. As women, we tend to want all aspects of our lives running on all cylinders, and that is just not how life works. We take it personally if we can't juggle everything, and nothing could be further from the truth. I don't know how old you are, but I feel a generation of us was lied to in the 70's and early 80's...you cannot have it all....at least without MAJOR sacrifice in some areas. Write down the things that are most important to you...and work toward improving those and only those areas. This is a process and will take time. Enlisting the family in housework is a beautiful thing! Good start! Next, do you need more "me" time? Schedule it...seriously...I get my nails done every other week and a pedi once a month. Doesn't sounf like much, but it is time I spend on me and me alone! Trying to cook meals every night is hard when your the Mommy taxi! POWER COOKING!!!

Give yourself a break~no one told us this was going to be easy, and they also didn't tell us there would be times we would need to shoot something! Find your in-between and be happy for yourself that you did!

BIG HUGS!!!

 

[merego]

I pretty much agree with what everyone else has said.
You have alot on your plate and you need to prioritize what is best for you.
I wouldn't make any qucik decisions about quitting since you do love it so much. I agree with the advice to just do enough to stay active and get through all your other stuff right now.
Hang in there, it will get better
HUGS

 

[chefsteph07]

In my opinion, it sounds like you are making MORE justifications for sticking WITH PC than not...if that is the case, then take your leave.

That's the flexibility of the job, you can do what you want, and if you have to really find reasons why to stick with it then maybe your heart really isn't in it. My dh goes to school Mon-Thurs till 9pm and I have 2 kids who are in various activities and I still find time for the biz w/o making justifications. Yeah, it gets on my nerves sometimes that I can't do shows when "I" want to, but I work around it and do what I can.

So, if you are really struggling w/ getting your mojo up for doing shows, take the leave and see if things change for you at the end of the summer...good luck!

 

[pamperedpals]

UpdateHello everyone! I have sure missed being on here the last couple of weeks. I was on medical leave from work for a week and a half, because of my left shoulder/collar bone. Still don’t know what is going on there, but, I think I will have had every test possible here soon. I do go see a bone specialist (he is suppose to be THE bone specialist) August 11th.

I am so psyched and excited, I can hardly stand it! DH finally got his new schedule this past Sunday. I am going to start making phone calls tonight and get shows booked for July. Yes, you read that correctly July!

I decided that I don't need a leave of absence; I need a major kick in the butt! DH has been totally supportive of whatever I want to do and I told him I want to keep my PC business. I have also had more people stop me in the last three weeks (thanks to the decals on my car) and ask for a catalog. I actually got a little smarter the last week or so, because I started asking them for their name and phone number, so I could follow up with them. (Yes, I’m a slow learner, but I am a learner!)

I am keeping my goals attainable for myself, so I don’t get disappointed and overwhelmed, like I did earlier. One show a week on Monday’s with an occasional Saturday. I will be able to do my host coaching on Sunday and Thursday evenings, when DH will be home to help with the kids. I love host coaching on Sunday evening's, because you find most people home at that time. :love:

Thanks for all of your advice and giving it to me straight! Well, I best get back to work, before, I get really behind.

 

[IAmChefJ]

Awesome Awesome that things are looking up, and awesome that you've found this awesome support group.

I just wanted to throw in there that the best money I spend each week is on a cleaning lady. It's a good friend who's a stay at home mom who's kids are in school, she comes on Fridays and spends 2 hours tidying up and it is a HUGE relief to my stress level. She does it for a little extra spending money, and I trust her with a key to my house.

Hang in there!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Re: Update

Hello everyone! I have sure missed being on here the last couple of weeks. I was on medical leave from work for a week and a half, because of my left shoulder/collar bone. Still don’t know what is going on there, but, I think I will have had every test possible here soon. I do go see a bone specialist (he is suppose to be THE bone specialist) August 11th.

I am so psyched and excited, I can hardly stand it! DH finally got his new schedule this past Sunday. I am going to start making phone calls tonight and get shows booked for July. Yes, you read that correctly July!

I decided that I don't need a leave of absence; I need a major kick in the butt! DH has been totally supportive of whatever I want to do and I told him I want to keep my PC business. I have also had more people stop me in the last three weeks (thanks to the decals on my car) and ask for a catalog. I actually got a little smarter the last week or so, because I started asking them for their name and phone number, so I could follow up with them. (Yes, I’m a slow learner, but I am a learner!)

I am keeping my goals attainable for myself, so I don’t get disappointed and overwhelmed, like I did earlier. One show a week on Monday’s with an occasional Saturday. I will be able to do my host coaching on Sunday and Thursday evenings, when DH will be home to help with the kids. I love host coaching on Sunday evening's, because you find most people home at that time. :love:

Thanks for all of your advice and giving it to me straight! Well, I best get back to work, before, I get really behind.

Sweet!~ Glad you decided to stay! Prayers for the shoulder, and keep us up to date, and I think those people seeing yoru decals and asking for catalogs is your sign!!!! Keep it up!

 

[chefmeg]

I am really proud of you! Glad to hear that you are feeling better about your decisions and I hope your shoulder gets figured out soon!