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Navigating In-Law Relationships: Tips for Living with MIL

In summary, the conversation revolves around the topic of feeling left out when it comes to invitations and pictures from the husband's family. The participants suggest sharing the invitations and addressing them to both the husband's mother and the couple, but also acknowledge that it may not have been a deliberate act. They also discuss the possibility of asking for separate copies of pictures and considering the details on invitations and cards.
heather223
heather223
Gold Member
1,602
I need some advice, I don't want to over react on this, without seeing what others think... my husband and I live with my MIL. Everytime his family sends an invite to an event, pictures of others children, etc. they send only one to our house. Is it wrong of me to feel that they should send one invite, picture, etc. to his mom and a seperate one to us? To me, even though we live with her, we are still a seperate family. Advice please. :)
 
I could possibly see sharing the invitations, hopefully at least addressed to both you and them. If it's a formal invitation, like to a wedding, then I would think they should come separately. But I would think you should get your own pictures of the kids and Christmas letters and what not because those are more personal. But that's just me.
 
I ditto what Amanda said, but my guess is that they're doing it without thinking that it might be hurtful.

Maybe you could say something like, "I love seeing the pictures that you send to MIL, would it be possible to send me and DH our own copy so we can frame them/put in our wallets/put it in an album/whatever you would do with it". Maybe this would make them think about the invites too...

Anyone else have a thought?
 
well my MIL and her new husband of 5 yrs lives with her Mother and when we send out invites or other people send out invites we only send one. my MIL is ok with that, but I can see your point. I lived with my FIL at one time when I first met hubby b/c his dad was sick alot and we only got one and I hated it. Me personal I wouldn't make a big deal about it except for pictures. Maybe take it to Wal-Mart or CVS to make copies.

If you send out an invite or Christmas card is it with you, your husband and MIL info or just you and hubby? Then people should get the hint!
 
I guess I wouldn't get too offended if it was addressed to everyone. If it isn't addressed to you then I'd wonder.
 

Related to Navigating In-Law Relationships: Tips for Living with MIL

1. How can I set boundaries with my mother-in-law without causing conflict?

Setting boundaries can be a tricky task, especially with in-laws. The key to avoiding conflict is to approach the conversation with respect and empathy. Communicate your boundaries clearly and calmly, and be willing to compromise and find a middle ground. It may also be helpful to involve your spouse in the conversation and present a united front.

2. What can I do if my mother-in-law is constantly criticizing or interfering in my life?

If your mother-in-law is constantly criticizing or interfering in your life, it's important to address the issue directly. Let her know how her behavior makes you feel and ask her to respect your boundaries. It may also be helpful to involve your spouse in the conversation and have them address the issue with their mother.

3. How do I handle conflicts between my spouse and their mother?

Conflicts between your spouse and their mother can be difficult to navigate. As an outsider, it's important to remain neutral and not take sides. Encourage open and honest communication between your spouse and their mother, and offer to mediate if necessary. Remember to always prioritize your relationship with your spouse and try to find a solution that works for both parties.

4. What are some ways to build a positive relationship with my mother-in-law?

Building a positive relationship with your mother-in-law takes effort and patience. Show interest in her life and be willing to listen and learn from her. Find common interests and activities that you can do together. Express gratitude and appreciation for her role in your spouse's life. With time and effort, a positive relationship can be built.

5. How do I handle holidays and special occasions with my in-laws?

Holidays and special occasions can be a source of stress for many families, especially when in-laws are involved. It's important to communicate and plan ahead with your spouse and their family to avoid any conflicts. Consider alternating holidays between your family and your in-laws, or creating new traditions that involve both families. Remember to be flexible and compromise to make the occasion enjoyable for everyone.

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