Mysterious Happenings: My DH is Driving Me Crazy!

[rennea]

Ok I know that this is off topic but I think that I have a ghost or my DH is trying to drive me crazy. I keep finding strange things in strange places. Yesturday there was a mini stuffed pink mouse in the cupboard next to the sugar. This morning there is a tiny yellow ducky in my tub. One of my vases is missing from the livingroom, and my place mats that were on the table lastnight are missing this morning.

Maybe I've just had too much coffee

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

That doesn't sound like a long drive as much as a short putt.

(Ever see the movie, Gaslight?)

 

[rennea]

Ha Ha Ha Ha thanks

 

[Ginger428]

Ok I know that this is off topic but I think that I have a ghost or my DH is trying to drive me crazy. I keep finding strange things in strange places. Yesturday there was a mini stuffed pink mouse in the cupboard next to the sugar. This morning there is a tiny yellow ducky in my tub. One of my vases is missing from the livingroom, and my place mats that were on the table lastnight are missing this morning.

Maybe I've just had too much coffee

Yikes!! Sounds like someone is playing tricks on you...

 

[rennea]

Yikes!! Sounds like someone is playing tricks on you...

And I'm playing dumb........haven't said a word

 

[pampermeplease]

I've heard of this happening...More than you think! What does DH get if you get sent to the funny farm? LOL. Mine calls me shirley all the time to just drive me nuts...and it's working! I'm not a shirley!!

 

[pamperedlinda]

Ummm, I don't think it's the coffee......

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

More than you think! What does DH get if you get sent to the funny farm? LOL. Mine calls me shirley all the time to just drive me nuts...and it's working! I'm not a shirley!!

Shirley, you can't be serious.

 

[gilliandanielle]

Start moving his crap around and he'll 'fess up!!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Ok I know that this is off topic but I think that I have a ghost or my DH is trying to drive me crazy. I keep finding strange things in strange places. Yesturday there was a mini stuffed pink mouse in the cupboard next to the sugar. This morning there is a tiny yellow ducky in my tub. One of my vases is missing from the livingroom, and my place mats that were on the table lastnight are missing this morning.

Maybe I've just had too much coffee

Fight back!

Do these at different times:

Reverse the toilet paper, that is, if the toilet paper rolls from the top, put it underneath.

Swap your toothbrushes in the holder.

If he has socks in one drawer and underwear in another, swap them.

If his shirts all hang in his closet with the labels to the left, change them so they all face right.

Switch the nightstands, go to bed early one night and sleep on the other side of the bed. (If he complains, be shocked and pretend that you've always slept on that side.

When you do that one ^^^ start parking on the other side of the garage.

When his (or both of your) toothpaste is about halfway used, swap the brand with one that's used about the same amount. (It's worth having to throw away half a tube of toothpaste for this one.)

Change his breakfast cereal. For example, if he eats Kellogg's Corn Flakes, replace the box with Post Toasties. (The box has to have the same level of content as the old one.)

If he has a favorite red sweater, find an identical one in green and swap them.

Is he a Pepsi drinker? Replace his supply with Coke. Does he like Budweiser? Replace his supply with Miller - the quanties have to be the same! Replace 8 bottles with 8 bottles or 3 cans with 3 cans.

Reprogram the television remote. Same stations, just different locations. Write down the originals so you can change them back if he doesn't.

Be sure to keep a straight face the whole time. Good luck!

 

[rennea]

Thanks, I'll keep these in mind.

 

[apriljc]

I think moving his stuff would be funny. My DH blames me for him losing his wedding ring, a year ago. He thinks I have it hidden somewhere. He plays basketball at the YMCA over his lunch hour at work and he takes it off and leaves it in his desk drawer or he keeps it in his locker at the Y. I think he lost it or someone stole it. He recently went back to college and I tease him that he doesn't want the other girls therre to know that he is married.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Not just moving but swapping. So when he opens the drawer for grundies, he finds socks. When he's ready for socks, he's not sure where to look.

 

[AJPratt]

Shirley, you can't be serious.

I am serious, and don't call me "Shirley".


I think husbands were created to drive us wives nuts.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Marriage is a mutual misunderstanding.

 

[whiteyteresa]

Fight back!

Do these at different times:

Reverse the toilet paper, that is, if the toilet paper rolls from the top, put it underneath.

Swap your toothbrushes in the holder.

If he has socks in one drawer and underwear in another, swap them.

If his shirts all hang in his closet with the labels to the left, change them so they all face right.

Switch the nightstands, go to bed early one night and sleep on the other side of the bed. (If he complains, be shocked and pretend that you've always slept on that side.

When you do that one ^^^ start parking on the other side of the garage.

When his (or both of your) toothpaste is about halfway used, swap the brand with one that's used about the same amount. (It's worth having to throw away half a tube of toothpaste for this one.)

Change his breakfast cereal. For example, if he eats Kellogg's Corn Flakes, replace the box with Post Toasties. (The box has to have the same level of content as the old one.)

If he has a favorite red sweater, find an identical one in green and swap them.

Is he a Pepsi drinker? Replace his supply with Coke. Does he like Budweiser? Replace his supply with Miller - the quanties have to be the same! Replace 8 bottles with 8 bottles or 3 cans with 3 cans.

Reprogram the television remote. Same stations, just different locations. Write down the originals so you can change them back if he doesn't.

Be sure to keep a straight face the whole time. Good luck!

I am sure that I am going to do this to my DH

Then maybe he won't say anything about me being on the computer.

I was showing my DH this website earlier and trying to tell him why I love this site so much and after a while he said that he toes were just tingling and he couldn't take anymore and had to go to bed.

~

 

[SillyChef]

Fight back!

Do these at different times:


Switch the nightstands, go to bed early one night and sleep on the other side of the bed. (If he complains, be shocked and pretend that you've always slept on that side.


Be sure to keep a straight face the whole time. Good luck!

I am totally going to do that one. That is FUNNY. lol. I know how much I like my side too. lol. But I would give that up just to make him bonkers. lol.

 

[SillyChef]

Ok I know that this is off topic but I think that I have a ghost or my DH is trying to drive me crazy. I keep finding strange things in strange places. Yesturday there was a mini stuffed pink mouse in the cupboard next to the sugar. This morning there is a tiny yellow ducky in my tub. One of my vases is missing from the livingroom, and my place mats that were on the table lastnight are missing this morning.

Maybe I've just had too much coffee

That is kinda creepy and kinda funny... Hmm... We will have to see what happens next.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Two of the very best practical jokes I've ever heard of...One was described by H. Allen Smith in his book, Life in a Putty Knife Factory. Smith was a long-time and well known newspaperman, back when being a newspaperman was an admired profession. A pompous donkey in the newsroom bought a new derby, with his initials (in gold) burnished into the hat band. The man was insufferable anyway, and continuously bragged about his hew hat. One reporter talked to him about it and found out where he bought his grand derby. The reporter took up a collection and bought two identical derbies, and had the initials burnished into the bands. One hat was two sizes larger and the other two sizes smaller. One day, when the pompous donkey was away from his desk, they switched his hat for the larger one. When he left to go home, the new hat fell down around his eyes. He took it off, studied the hatband and saw his initials, and carried it out of the office like nothing had happened. The following morning, he was wearing the hat - it was stuffed with newspaper. They let him wear it that way for a week, then stuffed the newspaper from the large hat into his real hat. Of course, when he went home, it was sitting high on his head and the next day, the newspaper was gone. They left him alone for a week, then swapped his hat for the smaller one. They never saw the derby again.Two...Joe, an engineer friend of mine, reported to me that (many years ago) a guy in the office bought a Volkswagen, this was back when only crackpots, nerds and the seriously weird bought "foreign" cars. The guy kept meticulous records of his gas purchases (these were engineers, remember) and he bragged about the great gas mileage his VW was getting. Joe bought a gas can and every day, at lunch, he would go to the parking lot and add the gallon of gas to the Volkswagon. Of course, the proud owner began to brag about the exceptional mileage he was getting, well over 50-60 MPG and how seldom he had to put gas in the miracle car. This went on for a few weeks until the process was reversed and Joe started a daily trek to the parking lot, this time to syphon out a gallon of gas.Now the poor slob's gas mileage plummeted and he was getting the same lousy mileage the full size Chevies and Fords were getting. The guy was going back to the VW dealer, screaming about the drop in mileage and, of course, the VW dealer could find nothing wrong with the car...because there was nothing wrong. When Joe had retrieved as many gallons as he had added, he stopped the process and suddenly, the VW started to get the same mileage as all the other Beetles in the world...but he always talked about the days when he got that great mileage with his VW Beetle.By comparison, a pink mouse in the cupboard is pretty mild.

 

[PamperedChefDebi]

KG, I would never want to be on your bad side!! Or your annoyed side!! You would surely drive me the rest of the way over the edge!!

 

[chefann]

Here's one I learned at work. It doesn't always work, depending on the video driver in your computer. Type Ctrl-Alt-up arrow. To reverse it, use Ctrl-Alt-down arrow.

There's a policy at my former work client (and at many offices) that if you walk away from your desk, you have to "lock" your computer by activating the screensaver, which requires a password to deactivate. A teammate would always walk away with his computer unsecured. And he had the screensaver set for 20 or 30 minutes, so it would be up for a long time (and yes, he'd disappear for more than that). One day I did that trick when he left the desk. He came back and was on the phone to the help desk (after he asked me for the number).

BTW- it turns the image on your monitor upside down. Try using a mouse when your motions are completely turned around on the screen.

 

[raebates]

After laughing really hard, I decided I NEVER want you people mad at me. You're very clever and extremely devious. I'm a little scared.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Doesn't work in mine...but we used to have a similar bit manipulation routine in the old Apollo workstations. What was even better was that we could do it across the network while someone was logged in. Even better was one that melted the screen. It looked just like someone was holding a blow torch under the center of the screen and all the colors just melted down into the bottom of the screen like they were going down a drain under the brand logo.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

KG, I would never want to be on your bad side!! Or your annoyed side!! You would surely drive me the rest of the way over the edge!!

In the old days of office chairs, before hydraulic cylinders replaced the old screw-type height adjuster, we had a guy in our office who just was a perfect target for this type of thing. He was the kind of guy who left a 5:00 whether the work was done or not, and was right there at 8:00 with a smart remark like "Good afternoon" or something else sarcastic if you came in at 8:02.I was usually there until 6:30 or 7:00 most days, so one night at 5:02, I turned the height adjuster on his chair about a half a turn. I did that every day. It took about two and a half weeks to get to the bottom of the adjustment, and with that small amount every day, he never noticed. You'd look at him behind his desk and he resembled Edith Ann in the giant rocking chair.After about a week of that, I started moving it a half turn up every night. One day he finally took notice that he was looking down a long way to his desk before he finally figured out someone was pulling his chain. He screamed at the boss who, in turn, had a difficult time keeping a straight face.Of course, I played innocent of the whole deal but everyone was pretty sure they knew who the jokester was...so I had to kinda lay low for awhile.It was worth it to see him sitting at his desk with his hands folded in front of him...at shoulder level.

 

[jenniferlynne]

When I used to work in an office, the guy next to me was always playing jokes on me. I used to leave my jacket (it was a light weight jacket) hanging on the back of my chair. One day after I left, he tied the sleeves in knots, then filled the sleeves with paper clips. So I walk in and the first thing I see is knots in my jacket sleeves. I say "Look what Shawn did" then I bend down and grap both sleeves at the bottom and hold them up and paper clips go falling out everywhere!! He also liked to take a wheel off the bottom of my chair. I would sit down and almost flip over. One time he put rubber bands around the rollers on one of my desk drawers and hooked them onto something in the back. I would pull my desk drawer out and it would go flying back in again. I tried to get him back, but I wasn't as creative as him. Plus, he worked nights when there wasn't many people around and he could do it without getting caught. The only funny thing I can remember that I did was put tape on the button on his phone. It would ring and he would pick it up and say "hello", but since there was tape on the button it would keep ringing. I sure do miss those days!! Well, not really. I'm glad I get to stay home now.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

I have a bright yellow Squall jacket from Lands' End. It's an adult X-large. There was a lovely soprano in the church choir who had an Eddie Bauer copy of the Squall - her's was also bright yellow with the same blue fleece lining. She would hang her jacket over the back of the chair, too, so one night during break, I switched coats. She was getting ready to go home and put on my XL Squall, and she couldn't get her hands to come out of the sleeves and, or course, it hung on her like canvas tarp over a lawn chair.The baffled look on her face was just priceless.The really good news is that I only do things like that to people I like. If I'm really, really nice to you and always treat you with utmost respect...then you know you're on my bad side.

 

[supergirljennie]

Here's one I learned at work. It doesn't always work, depending on the video driver in your computer. Type Ctrl-Alt-up arrow. To reverse it, use Ctrl-Alt-down arrow.

My 2 year old discovered that one on my laptop. He was there for 2 seconds, and then I have a sideways screen! (The arrow direction will work for any of the arrows.)

My husband has now taken to doing it to people at his work. Until the IT department figured it out...

Very frustrating though, when you don't know what's wrong with it! I got a crick in my neck trying to figure out the solution to it. LOL

 

[supergirljennie]

The only funny thing I can remember that I did was put tape on the button on his phone. It would ring and he would pick it up and say "hello", but since there was tape on the button it would keep ringing. I sure do miss those days!! Well, not really. I'm glad I get to stay home now.

Too funny! Will have to use that one.

 

[luvs2sellit]

How Funny!!! Just tried the computer trick and it works. Can't wait to try it on someone.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

The only funny thing I can remember that I did was put tape on the button on his phone. It would ring and he would pick it up and say "hello", but since there was tape on the button it would keep ringing. I sure do miss those days!! Well, not really. I'm glad I get to stay home now.

When I was in the car business (no, they didn't have crank starters then but not long after that) we had a salesman no one liked. We used to take the mouthpiece off his phone and tape the inside of it so he could hear but the guy on the other end could hardly hear him.

Sometimes we'd switch phone wires with an office of another guy we didn't like so they'd get each others' calls.

 

[pamperedlinda]

These are funny stories. Reminds me of one.....I used to be good friends with a guy in the Tech Support dept of the office I worked in. There was another guy in the same general area (we all had cubicles) who was just annoying! So, one weekend when my friend had to work he changed this guys computer start-up to give him a personal greeting.....as he signed-on to his computer a voice would say "Good Morning A$$hole, have a great day!" It was hilariuos....it took him about a month to figure out how to delete it and he never did find out who did it.

 

[speedychef]

I had a friend who used to rubberband the handle down on the sprayer on my kitchen sink so that whenever I turned on the sink, I got sprayed. He thought it was REALLY funny, and I fell for it a dozen times in a row...I'm always wary when I turn on a kitchen faucet these days...

 

[jenniferknapp]

I had a friend who used to rubberband the handle down on the sprayer on my kitchen sink so that whenever I turned on the sink, I got sprayed. He thought it was REALLY funny, and I fell for it a dozen times in a row...I'm always wary when I turn on a kitchen faucet these days...

hahaha....My uncle taught me how to do that when I was younger, and then my aunt (who just had twins) asked me for a glass of water....yep I did it to myself!

 

[chefann]

Pop the keys off someone's keyboard and put them back in different places. It won't affect good typists, but there's always someone who's always looking at their hands when they type. Then they look up and it's garbage on the screen.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Now, THAT'S mean.(I love it!)

 

[chefann]

Don't replace a cereal box, replace the bag inside the box. Then it looks normal until they pour it.Replace his refreshing manly shower gel with something flowery (in his bottle, of course).Replace the underwear in his drawer with underwear that's 1 size smaller.Fold up the hem on his pants and baste in place so they're all 1-2" short.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

If you do the bag-in-the-box deal, make it worthwhile - like changing corn flakes for Cheerios.I like the idea of just changing brands, though, it's more of a head-scratcher and not as obvious.

 

[chefann]

Replace flavored cream with a different flavor or even *gasp!* plain.Turn all the hanging pictures in the house to face the wall.

 

[chefann]

OK- I keep thinking of things you can do.Shift all the furniture in one room by 3-4 inches. It's just enough to trip over things in the dark.Flip all the hangers in his closet. If he usually hangs things overhand (with the hook facing the back wall of the closet), hang them underhand (with the hook facing you).Replace his toothbrush with one that looks the same but is a children's model.Change the radio station on his clock radio. And all the presets in his car. Make them all the same.Get yourself a universal remote, and turn the TV off (with the remote hidden in your lap) whenever he changes the channel.Replace his cereal with dry dog food.

 

[raebates]

Ann, does your husband know you have ideas like these?

 

[raebates]

I keep thinking of the young woman I used to work with. We were the only two women in an all-male business. Of course, they thought it was fun to play tricks on us both. Well, at least for a while.I would simply laugh it off, so they rarely did anything to me. Even then, it was usually pretty mild (adjusting my chair down 2-3 inches, unplugging my phone handset, etc.). She, on the other hand, would go ballistic. Consequently, they LOVED doing increasingly mean things to her. Some of them have appeared in this thread. Brings back fond memories of her ranting and raving about how stupid men are. For some people the lightbulb just never fully illuminates.

 

[chefann]

Of course they're going to continue to do it if she gives them a show! The trick is to laugh it off: "Good one, guys!" then they start treating you like an equal.

 

[jdavis]

Boy am I glad I don't work with you all, lol. It's bad enough around my place all the messing around we do.

 

[jenniferp417]

Funny story I heard once: a guy kept leaving his keys on his desk, so a coworker borrowed them and made copies. Every day, he'd go out to the parking garage, move the car over 2-3 spaces, and change all the radio presets to the local "elevator music" station. This went on for *months* until the first guy quit - for unrelated reasons. The second guy gave the keys back, and explained what he'd done... the first guy *never noticed* that his car got moved daily - but he'd taken his car in FOUR TIMES to have the radio looked at!

Another good one I heard about: a guy always left his laptop unattended at work - someone replaced *every single sound effect* with a clip from the movie "When Harry Met Sally" - yep, the screaming-orgasam, "I'll have what she's having" scene - then he turned the volume ALL the way UP. Guy never, ever left his laptop unattended again.

And BTW, I like a lot of the ideas here - I'm going to save them to torture my husband with!

 

[rennea]

It continuesToday under my bathroom sink I found a box wrapped up all pretty, I opened it and it was empty. Ok thats just mean!!!!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

You have the lists here...now's the time to start fighting back!

 

[rennea]

Watch outI'm going in with guns blazin.........I'm going to super glue his butt to the toilet!!!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

If you want to be cruel, SuperGlue it in the down position.

 

[chefann]

Today under my bathroom sink I found a box wrapped up all pretty, I opened it and it was empty. Ok thats just mean!!!!

Maybe it wasn't for you.

 

[Teresa Lynn]

are you approaching a milestone birthday & its his subtle way of reminding you. You know the mind is one of the first things to go!!

Teresa