How to Deal with Betrayal: A Personal Experience with Pampered Chef

[kayleigh]

I really dont know where to post this, so sorry in advance.

I need some advice on how to deal with this. The more I think about the more upset I become. I am not mad, I am more disappointed. I keep trying to tell myself its no-one's fault but I dont know how I should feel if that makes any sense.

Here it goes:

In march I held a show and during check out I got to talking with a girl I will call "Susie". I asked her if she would be interested in becoming a Pampered Chef consultant, at which she answered not right now. I also asked her if she was interested in hosting her own show and she stated she had another Pampered Chef party the next day for a friend of hers to get back with her she will let me know. Keep in mind this show was very noisy at the end as they were conversing with each other. Thought nothing of it, figured she and I would get a chance to talk after that second show as I did not want to overwhelm her.

Come to find out the show she went to was my directors show (small world). Now this is where the story goes to where I dont know how to feel. During the check out process not only did Susie book a show for early April but she also signed up with my director (April 30). Here is the kicker: During the show Susie and my director spoke and I was brought up, about how she had been to my party the day before and I had asked the same questions.

I found this out by director admitting she and "susie" had talked about our conversation during our weekly check-in. At that point I was confused and felt somewhat betrayed.

I am happy that she signed up but I am a little confused as in my opinion if this would have been the opposite way around I would have called my director before proceeding forward with the show or signing her since she would have been the first to make contact with her in regards to joining and booking her own show.

I feel like I was thrown under the bus with both parties. I expect this with customers more so then my director. It would have been different if none of this information was shared with my director prior to proceeding.

Last night, I received a call from a very good customer of mine, she and I were talking about her order she recently placed with me. She mentioned that her and I could sit down on Saturday to schedule her bridal shower. I had to break the news I was not the consultant on Saturday, at which point she said she was not going since I was not the consultant. She said she had been mislead from the host. She figured it would have been me, after hearing our conversation at the party (March).

So my question is, am I feeling what I should or am I over-reacting? I dont know how I should feel honestly, I just know I have feelings inside me I cant describe about this.

Thanks

 

[mscharf]

WOW, of course my comments are based on your side of the story,and we all know there are two sides to every story, but I think you need to have a conversation with your Director. Ultimately it is "Suzie's" decision on who she signs under, but I am a Director myself and I woud NEVER do this to anyone on my team. Did you ask her WHY she signed her if she knew you already talked to her?? I would talk to her, let her know how you are feeling, and go from there... maybe there is a reason???

 

[NooraK]

(((Hugs)))

I can certainly see why you would feel hurt. Especially if your Director admits to knowing the new recruit talked to you about the opportunity. Which is funny, because it actually benefits your director to have the consultant sign under you, making you a SC which is a necessary piece of her Director structure. Unfortunately, at this point all you can do is Bless & Release. It may take a while for you to get over the hurt feelings, but it'll happen.

As for the customer and Saturday, I'm not sure what to say about that one...

 

[Sheila]

I only started recruiting 8 months ago, but I see my job as a recruiter as being a mentor to those under me. They are less experienced & looking to me for guidance. I have 4 SC's on my team now. I personally spoke to three of their potential recruits & provided additional information prior to them signing, but in no way, shape or form would I ever try to get the potential recruit to sign under me instead of under the person already on my team! I am shocked for you. I think you have every right to have your feelings hurt. As a "mentor", I'm still willing to work with the girls who are 2nd & 3rd lines down just like I would with the ones who are 1st line. I'm wondering if "Susie" was hesitant about signing with a newer consultant & felt more comfortable going with a more "seasoned" consultant as her recruiter? Even if that was the situation, I'd have admitted that I treat 2nd & 3rd lines just like 1st lines! Even as a 2nd line, she'd have still received the same treatment as if she'd have been in my 1st line! And, she would have helped my "structure" too!Do you think your recruiter was desperate for a recruit for HO Lead purposes? Or is she starting to loose part of her structure & has her title in jeopardy? It just seems really strange for some one to knowingly and intentionally steal a recruit from their downline. I love it when my downline gets a downline! It only means that I'm going up!!!

 

[etteluap70PC]

Your director (in my opinion) did both of you a disservice! If she knew "Susie" had spoken to you she should have backed off and followed up with you to make sure you were ready with how to deal with everything... I would be hurt and I would tell her so.

 

[kayleigh]

I am currently a team leader right now. I have three girls on my team, 2 are doing "well" and one who has not qualified. We have discussed about getting my 4th recruit to be inline for director (goal) and also earn my trip (goal), in which she knows this.

I have asked my director in a round about way why, and she can give no answer. She backtracks her story, so I dont know if this was just done on purpose or accident. I keep telling myself, it is "Susie's" decision but I still feel upset.

Thanks

 

[kayleigh]

Her structure is not so secure, we have discussed it a couple of times, I think this is why I am most hurt, because I feel like she knowingly took from me what should have been mine because of her title being in jepordy.

 

[Sheila]

Her structure is not so secure, we have discussed it a couple of times, I think this is why I am most hurt, because I feel like she knowingly took from me what should have been mine because of her title being in jepordy.

(((hugs)))

 

[Chefgirl2]

Your Director is a bonehead. Her structure would have been secure if you had a team that was selling. This short sightedness happens more often than it should. Don't let it bug you...instead keep asking, and before you know it you'll be promoting and maybe even pass her up!

I'm sorry it happened to you.

 

[mscharf]

She really didn't think it through!! You promoting to Director would promoted her to Advanced!! And conference is right around the corner.
My advice, Bless and Release and move on to the next one!! Get that promotion!!

 

[BethCooks4U]

I agree that your director did both of you a disservice. I understand your feelings. It was wrong on many levels but know that what goes around comes around. Keep working your businesss and you'll be selling and succeeding long after your director decides to give it up.

Where do you have your meetings? Are you doing your own? With your director? Her upline? If this situation is uncomfortable you might want to change things. With your team growing you might consider doing your own meetings and have your director's upline help you and maybe consider hospitality. Don't let this poison your attitude about your business! That would be the real loss in all this.

 

[mrshamel3808]

My one recruit (well, the only one that's gone anywhere with the business) actually was a show that my recruiter gave away to me because she was more local to me. She told me that while she had nothing against my recruiter, she felt like she got along more with my style/personality and that's why she chose to sign with me, rather than my recruiter. It might have just been a situation like that. Although as your director, you'd think she would talk to you and let you know at least.

 

[kayleigh]

I do appreciate everyones comments regarding this issue. It is nice to know that I have a right to feel what I feel right now.

I hear from my director how I need to just keep asking and trying to get that fourth girl on my team so I can promote to director. Every conversation with her this is brought up yet when I actually get the chance to do it, and have someone who is half way interested she jumps in and takes it. But as most have said I need to move on and get another one.

Currently I do not attend any meetings as I have a very busy life and the nights my directors/upline meetings are on, I have another meeting. This meeting also is over 1 hr away from me (one way). We have found me hospitality but that is a whole nother' story there with bad results so I just dont go. I will not drive over an hour to a meeting one way. Espically when I have to work the next day and these meetings are not ending until around 8:30-9pm. That puts me home way too late to try to get ready for work the next day as I still work full-time in addition to my Pampered Chef.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

My one recruit (well, the only one that's gone anywhere with the business) actually was a show that my recruiter gave away to me because she was more local to me. She told me that while she had nothing against my recruiter, she felt like she got along more with my style/personality and that's why she chose to sign with me, rather than my recruiter. It might have just been a situation like that. Although as your director, you'd think she would talk to you and let you know at least.

This is what I was thinking. I know it stinks...but possibly the recruit just clicked better with your director, and made it clear that she wanted to sign with her.

Although I agree that it would have been best for your director to discuss it with you, conversations like that are difficult for some people, and she may just not have the skills to handle it with you, so she avoided it.

 

[mscharf]

I do appreciate everyones comments regarding this issue. It is nice to know that I have a right to feel what I feel right now.

I hear from my director how I need to just keep asking and trying to get that fourth girl on my team so I can promote to director. Every conversation with her this is brought up yet when I actually get the chance to do it, and have someone who is half way interested she jumps in and takes it. But as most have said I need to move on and get another one.

Currently I do not attend any meetings as I have a very busy life and the nights my directors/upline meetings are on, I have another meeting. This meeting also is over 1 hr away from me (one way). We have found me hospitality but that is a whole nother' story there with bad results so I just dont go. I will not drive over an hour to a meeting one way. Espically when I have to work the next day and these meetings are not ending until around 8:30-9pm. That puts me home way too late to try to get ready for work the next day as I still work full-time in addition to my Pampered Chef.

Your team is growing!! You might wwant to consider holding your OWN meetings!! They are a great way to keep EVERYONE on track and gives accountablity to your team and you!! Statistically those who attend meetings sell more, recruit more, etc, etc!!! Just go for it. Good luck!!

 

[Chefgirl2]

I do appreciate everyones comments regarding this issue. It is nice to know that I have a right to feel what I feel right now.

I hear from my director how I need to just keep asking and trying to get that fourth girl on my team so I can promote to director. Every conversation with her this is brought up yet when I actually get the chance to do it, and have someone who is half way interested she jumps in and takes it. But as most have said I need to move on and get another one.

Currently I do not attend any meetings as I have a very busy life and the nights my directors/upline meetings are on, I have another meeting. This meeting also is over 1 hr away from me (one way). We have found me hospitality but that is a whole nother' story there with bad results so I just dont go. I will not drive over an hour to a meeting one way. Espically when I have to work the next day and these meetings are not ending until around 8:30-9pm. That puts me home way too late to try to get ready for work the next day as I still work full-time in addition to my Pampered Chef.

Well...I have one girl on my team that drives an hour and fortyfive minutes each way to my meetings. For a several years I drove over 2 hours to attend monthly hospitality director meetings. I stopped going when my director said she would be doing them again last year, but she still isn't consistant. Hmmm...maybe I need to get back in the car because when I was attending those monthly director meetings my business was hot. This year I missed the excellence award by $2,130...not that I'm counting.

The whole point of my reply is if you want to learn and grow - a meeting helps. If you really want one then keep asking until you can find one that works with your needs.

 

[raebates]

This is what I was thinking. I know it stinks...but possibly the recruit just clicked better with your director, and made it clear that she wanted to sign with her.

Although I agree that it would have been best for your director to discuss it with you, conversations like that are difficult for some people, and she may just not have the skills to handle it with you, so she avoided it.

My thoughts, exactly.

 

[Jinkies]

I just talked to my Director about it and we both find that it's just awful what you're going through, Kayleigh. I have been in this business for over two years and I haven't heard of anything so mean. I personally would come right out and ask your Director about it, especially if she has that nasty habit of taking consultants for herself. I would also encourage you to have your own meetings! Good luck!

 

[sassypip]

I am sorry this happened to you. I would have felt the same way. JUst keep doing what you are doing and you will be successful. (((HUGS)))