Director How Do I Handle a Sticky Situation with Two Consultants and a New Recruit?

[pamperedbecky]

I have a sticky situation and I'd love some input! (sorry - this will be long)

I had a HO lead back in Dec who was interested in the biz oppty. I emailed her and left a couple messages and never heard back. I figured this person lost interest and whatever - I wasn't going to hound her. She ended up calling me at the beginning of February. She wanted to look into it, but just started another job so she was going to see how that went and maybe sign up down the road.

She shared with me that her sister hosted a show in November and that's what got her thinking about PC. She had asked that consultant a couple questions, but didn't care for that consultant. I guess she wasn't very flexible, wouldn't do some things the host had asked for, etc. (She had wanted to do a "Mexican Fiesta" theme and somehow ended up doing a Cupcake Show at the consultant's encouragement). My HO lead knew that typically you sign up under the person you first meet in the biz, but she could tell that she just wouldn't click with this person. So, she contacted the HO and that's how I got her.

It turns out this other consultant is someone I know! I told the HO lead that I knew this other consultant. She's a hospitality consultant that comes to our meetings. Knowing her, I can kind of see why the HO lead didn't feel like she would be a good fit. She's nice and all, but kind of abrasive if you don't know her sense of humor. She's been a consultant for years, but has never been a director (another reason the lead was looking for someone with more experience in the training aspect).

So, fast forward to a month later and we had talked and met and she got very excited about PC. She decided she wanted to sign up now. She told me she felt bad that she wasn't going with this other consultant, even though she felt that consultant was NOT a good match for her and she didn't click with her. She wanted to sign with me. I told her that ultimately it was HER decision who she signs with and obviously it made sense to go with whomever she felt most comfortable with. BUT I told her I'd understand if she signed with the other one. I need to clear my conscience anyway!

SO, the other consultant had called her somewhere in this whole decision process. My new consultant ended up sending her an email, saying she signed with someone else and was very nice about it. She got an email back saying congratulations and it was a nice email.

Well, then I KNEW I had to tell her that I was the consultant she signed with since they'd run into each other at meetings and I didn't want to blindside her. So now she wants to know all the details of why she didn't sign with her and why I didn't let her (the hosp consultant-Chris) know she was talking to me. I didn't want Chris to hound her because the woman wasn't comfortable with her in the first place! Now I'm in a sticky situation. If I tell her why this woman didn't want to sign with her, it'll hurt her feelings and make her feel even worse I'm sure, but she wants me to be honest with her. I also don't feel it's my place to share these things the new consultant told me - that was between her and me.

Here are some excerpts:
"My question to you is, since you knew, before you signed her, that she had been to my show and I was working with her, why didn't you question her on it more? Why didn't you tell me about it?
Could have been super simple, possibly just being that stupid cupcake show. Wouldn't have been an issue, maybe.
That's my big question now, the whys. Is there any that you can answer for me?"
Then her next email before I had a chance to reply:
"I do need you and xxxxxxx both to do me a favor. I need to know what it was about "how I ran my business" that made her look elsewhere. I need to know if I'm doing something to run people off somehow."

I can understand wanting to know this.

I really don't know what to say. How I explained it in my email to Chris when I let her know was that the new consultant was curious to see how another consultant ran her biz and that's why she contacted HO. Then Chris is saying "Well, she has no clue how I run my biz....." and is sounding pretty bitter. I can understand - I've had a repeat host of mine that I kept in touch with out of the blue sign as a consultant with someone else. I saw her post it on FB! But this is a weird situation because we'll be at the same meetings!

Truly the HO lead and her sister who hosted felt that Chris was very rigid, pushed this idea of a show on them when they wanted something else. That's all I know, but I could tell that it put a bad taste in the new consultant's mouth and didn't want to work with someone who was like that. Telling these things to Chris would not be well-received.

I'm not sure how to answer her other questions either. I don't want to make this even more uncomfortable for my new consultant, but I feel like I'm being put in the middle.

Help!!! Aaaaah! Thanks so much - and thanks for reading. I know it was LONG!

 

[pamperedlinda]

Dang!! I feel for you.

Honesty is probably best - but in her case no matter what you tell her it sounds like she will be very defensive. Do you know if she's already hounding this new consultant for answers too? You need to warn her that you told the other consultant so she can dodge her phone calls.

When Sheila wakes up and reads this she will have the very diplomatic answer for you

 

[finley1991]

I agree with Linda about her not being the most receptive to feedback. I would just tell her that the consultant felt you were a better fit for her and ultimately it was her decision... good luck!!! HUGS!!

 

[Chef Kearns]

Becky you'll need to tell Chris that you aren't comfortable sharing the details of the situation. Let her know that you are sorry that the situation hurts her feelings, but it was just a coincidence that the HO lead got you. She could have very easily gotten someone else in the area and Chris would never have any of her questions answered.

I hope you can find some peace in this mess. I don't think there is a way to make everyone happy, but if you aren't comfortable sharing don't do it. It will only murk the waters.

 

[pamperedbecky]

Thanks! Good point about if the lead went somewhere else, she never would have even known. Or gotten answers. The more I tell her, I think the worse she'd feel. And it's really not even a specific issue. I just think it was more of a personality clash. Who knows. I did let my consultant know that Chris wants some answers. Man I hope she doesn't call her! Ugg. We'll see.

 

[finley1991]

Clearly Chris doesn't want to face the reason she's not recruiting...

 

[BethCooks4U]

I would just tell Chris that you got her through the HO lead system and that in the conversation you asked and she admitted working with Chris but that she wanted someone more experienced as a recruiter so she went to HO. I'd also point out that we all know it is the recruit's decision who she signs with.

If Chris wants details I would just ask her how that would help the situation and if she thinks it would do anyone any good to persue it further. She needs to let it go. Tell her that you have talked to people and then they signed with someone else. It happens.

 

[pamperedbecky]

Aaaaahhh. Just clicked "send" while gritting my teeth. My reply to her has been sent.

 

[Sheila]

I'm a trainer at heart, so I'd have talked to the new recruit, explained that Chris has asked for constructive criticism and that, as her hospitality director, you feel responsible to help her learn how to be a better consultant AND a better recruiter. I'd have asked her what info I could share & then I'd have met in person with Chris & reminded her that she did ASK for the constructive criticism, so she has to accept is as just that and not a personal attack. If she agreed, I'd have asked the first two debriefing questions: 1) If you could only list ONE thing that you'd do again, what would it be & why? 2) If there was one thing that you could have done differently, what was it & why? AFTER I had those answers, I'd have given her the info from the New Consultant and we'd have discussed it in depth ... then gone back over the 2 debriefing questions ... 1) Now that you know what [New Consultant] said, what's the ONE thing that you would do the same & why. 2) Knowing what you know now, if there was one thing that you could have done differently, what would it be & why?

If she doesn't have an answer to #2, she's a useless cause on constructive criticism.

(Linda, thanks for the vote of confidence! )

 

[cenouctosturo]

I agree with Sheila - Chris does need to know how she can better her business but being as correct as possible about is necessary. I would want to know if I had done something to offend someone.I myself signed under someone else other than a girl that I had done about 5 shows with. I hadnt heard from her in a few years and I had moved an hour away from her.. I wanted someone local and the person I signed under is higher is the company and has more years experience. I dont regret my decision but I still feel bad bc of all the time the other girl spent doing my shows. Although the other girl did say to my recruiter that she wouldnt have had as much time to devote to me as my recruiter did and I prob wouldnt have grown as much as I have with all the training that I have

 

[BethCooks4U]

Often it's personal opinions and perception. Personalities mesh and they clash. Most of the time it's just a matter of impressions and personal preference and not something someone did wrong.

My team has a mix of personalities. There is one in particular that we all wonder how she gets business she is so abrasive but she does. Her people love her.

This consultant asked for answers to why and she deserves that but my opinion is that she will be hurt no matter what. I would not go into details and would say (truthfully) that the new consultant didn't feel they meshed and she wanted a more experienced recruiter. That hurts enough.

You have to get along with both and both will likely attend the meetings so you have a fine line so that it doesn't affect everyone.


ETA: As far as the consultant talking the host into the cupcake party: In her defense, how often have we heard that it is our business and we should decide what we're making and only offer that to the host so we can keep our kit simple. She just may be going on that philosophy. That doesn't make her a bad consultant and it doesn't make the recruit unreasonable for wanting to work with someone else.

Personally, I offer my hosts too many choices but it is so nice when today's show recipe is the same as tomorrow's when it comes to cleaning and packing up.