Director Heading Back to Japan for a Few Weeks

[Sheila]

Rumor has it that if we don't return by the 25th of July, hubby will loose housing. So we are going to go back sometime around July 18th (as close to the deadline as possible!), get our names off the evacuee list & then return to the states on our own terms. We are planning to live stateside for a while & make some short visits to Japan to keep the military happy. But I can't really advertise that on Facebook since we have other wives in the command as my FB friends. So for any of you reading my FB status wondering what the heck happened & why we are going back ... that's the reason! It's just temporary.

 

[Teresa Lynn]

WAIT, we haven't had a chance to hang out yet!!

 

[Sheila]

I'll be back! LOL

 

[Ginger428]

For sure, we have to meet up at Conference!!

 

[Sheila]

I'll be there! With my Chef Success button on!!! LOL

 

[cincychef]

Ok I am not one to get into the threads that people start trouble on, BUT all I can say is that Sheila posted a very similar post over on chefsuccess and someone is really being over the top on it. I know Sheila has been very active on both boards and always quick to step in with a helpful comment or suggestion. And the worse thing I can say about her is that she adheres too closely to the rules (Sheila I know you will take that as a compliment ) The whole thing Kind of ticks me off.

 

[Chef Kearns]

I'm going to comment even though it goes against my better judgment. Sheila's post does read like she's trying to get away with something. I can completely understand the other military spouse taking offense to her post. I often find Sheila's post and comments a little too know it all, but I try to just keep my mouth shut to keep the peace over here. I'm not saying that her actions are wrong, but the tone of the post reads as if she's trying to fly under the radar with this one. JMHO

 

[cookingwithlove]

The other poster on the other site has her right to question Sheila's post. While we assume Sheila is doing what is ethically correct, because we know Sheila, this other poster is new and very committed to her military role. I admire someone questioning the actions of another if it looks to be unethical.

 

[cookingwithlove]

Sheila, I am not accusing you of anything, because I have no ideas of the rules. I just think it is wrong that everyone jumped on top of her for questioning your actions. You have many devoted friends on these boards, you should be proud. I am sure she did not realize your committment to ethics. It sounds like she is in a different branch of service with different rules so you can understand her concern.

 

[Sheila]

We are not advertising because I don't want anyone to misinterpret what we are doing and misinform the command with false info. We are not breaking any rules, the kids & I will be going back within the required time frames to conform to all the rules. I was raised to follow the rules and my dispatching background at the Police Department just reinforced that thought process. I don't do anything that I wouldn't want to explain in a court of law. Life is much easier that way. Chef Kearns, sorry that you find me offensive. I really am a nice person who will drop what I'm doing & go out of my way to help others any time that I can. But we can't please all the people all the time, huh?

 

[Sheila]

She's not bothering me.

 

[akaskydebil]

Sheila - ever feel like people are talking about you "behind your back" but yet to your face since they know you are here and reading these posts?

I must say that most of the inappropriate comments are made on CS and its very nice to find this site to be more 'mature'. I wll just say, if anyone reading this has a problem with what I say or anyone else, can I please recommend that you simply address it with myself or with them directly or leave your thoughts of them out of the post? Talking about people "HERE" about "THERE" like they aren't going to read or knowing they will yet acting like you're not bashing them to their face is uncalled for. Again this site is more mature than that.

 

[Sheila]

Funny, huh?

I can handle it though. My job gave everyone personality tests back in the 90's and the company doing the tests said I was in the wrong profession, that I should have been a judge (because I can objectively see both sides to every story). Most people sway to one side or the other & really can't grasp why someone would consider a different train of thought or route to accomplishing a task. So it's harder for them to think outside the box and try new ideas. I can't just look at one side, I step back & look at the whole picture, trying to figure out the thought process behind someone's actions. So I tend to offer suggestions to others when I see them only looking at one side. Not to make them mad, but to try & help them see both sides of a story. I'm a teacher at heart and have always loved helping others to learn and grow when/where I can. If there's one thing that I've learned in my 43 years on this Earth, it's that what we dislike most in others is also what we dislike about our own personality. Human nature is a funny thing.

 

[akaskydebil]

I'm done reading the post about all of this on CS as I can see both sides but the other party in that post is just being plain rude (IMO). I'm not siding in either way but simply find the other comments to be in attack mode and un-called for.

I don't assume I know people and I have never even seen her pop up before on CS but my current 'personal' conclusion is that she is a gem to live around or work with....resident nark.

Yep, karma finds everyone it should... hehe

 

[cincychef]

I'm done reading the post about all of this on CS as I can see both sides but the other party in that post is just being plain rude (IMO). I'm not siding in either way but simply find the other comments to be in attack mode and un-called for.

I don't assume I know people and I have never even seen her pop up before on CS but my current 'personal' conclusion is that she is a gem to live around or work with....resident nark.

Yep, karma finds everyone it should... hehe

Those were my thoughts exactly and I haven't gone back to the post on cs since the first time I looked.
What I love about this board is that even though some people might not have a good personality for me to be their "girlfriend" Everyone is really mature and helpful and supportive of each other. Even if I might not want to meet someone for a cup of coffee and a chat, I love the different view points we can lend each other at a business level.:angel:

 

[pamperedlinda]

I'm done reading the post about all of this on CS as I can see both sides but the other party in that post is just being plain rude (IMO). I'm not siding in either way but simply find the other comments to be in attack mode and un-called for.

I don't assume I know people and I have never even seen her pop up before on CS but my current 'personal' conclusion is that she is a gem to live around or work with....resident nark.

Yep, karma finds everyone it should... hehe

wish we had a "like" button! lol

I still read it, only because it's rather entertaining. Sheila is holding her own over there, but I'm ready if she needs me! :devil:

 

[akaskydebil]

It is entertaining to a point as its like a daytime soap opera but like you, I can only take so much before I get in the ring and put on my boxing gloves.

Glad 'she' isn't my neighbor or co-worker, I'd be in jail.

 

[Sheila]

She got mad that I called her "sweetie" ... is that a derogatory term? Really??? I seriously thought it was a term of endearment. I use it all the time with my Mommy friends & I'm sure I've used it here before too. Do you girls think that's an offensive word?

She's definitely got her panties in a wad. But she's not raising my blood pressure, only her own. Life's too short to get all worked up over a misunderstanding.

Linda & Melissa, you two are funny! But try not to let her get to you.

 

[pamperedlinda]

She got mad that I called her "sweetie" ... is that a derogatory term? Really??? I seriously thought it was a term of endearment. I use it all the time with my Mommy friends & I'm sure I've used it here before too. Do you girls think that's an offensive word?

It could be, depends on the tone she's reading into it - and I'm pretty sure she's probably reading it with a sarcastic tone......"bless her heart"..... lol (as John (pampered1224) would say "you either just said 'I love you' or 'f*#k off' " lol!)

 

[Chef Kearns]

She got mad that I called her "sweetie" ... is that a derogatory term? Really??? I seriously thought it was a term of endearment. I use it all the time with my Mommy friends & I'm sure I've used it here before too. Do you girls think that's an offensive word?

She's definitely got her panties in a wad. But she's not raising my blood pressure, only her own. Life's too short to get all worked up over a misunderstanding.

Linda & Melissa, you two are funny! But try not to let her get to you.

Yes, it can be condescending. Especially considering the kind of conversation you guys are having. The little winks you put at the end of a condescending, know-it-all post are especially annoying as well, just fyi!

 

[Sheila]

Amazing! I'll just say it ... some people need to grow up and act like an adult.

 

[Sheila]

Oh, and Linda ... I seriously wasn't trying to be derogatory to her. If I was, I'd have told her to "quit living like an ostrich, pull your freaking head of the sand and join the rest of us in the real world."

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Who needs to grow up?

Someone who has a different point of view and disagrees with you? Or those who choose to take part in a hidden conversation that is gossip and maligns someone who can't speak up for themselves as they are being talked about?

I'm sorry - but it's been done to me on this site, before I became a director and could read the nasty comments that were made about me in a private thread (oh, and I've read them all now - so I know)...and I will take exception to ANYONE doing it to someone else.

Be a grownup and keep your disagreements with the people who are part of it - not hidden in secret with your friends. THAT is junior high behavior. Real integrity and character would have taken the whole thread offline on CS, instead of continuing to feed it and keep it going for several pages.

Now - go ahead and malign me - passive agressively () or straight out - I don't care.

 

[cookingwithlove]

She got mad that I called her "sweetie" ... is that a derogatory term? Really??? I seriously thought it was a term of endearment. I use it all the time with my Mommy friends & I'm sure I've used it here before too. Do you girls think that's an offensive word?

Just my 2 cents. I would not like to be called "sweetie" in this type of way. The 2 of you are at odds on a very important issue for both of you. You using the word "sweetie" came off very condescending. It is one thing if you are friends in a friendly situation or if someone just posts some sad information and you are giving them comfort, then the use would be appropriate. But you are not friends and there was no comfort let alone understanding of her given.

Sheila, you are often very level headed, but this time I think you have taken this very personally. I would have as well. I think she has gotten under your skin, because you are treading a fine line with the housing situation. You admitted this yourself. You attacked her first when you told her “but until you are living our nightmare I'd appreciate if you refrain from condemning the choices we feel we are forced to make.” She was not scrutinizing your choices as a parent, but your walking of a fine line of the rules. She was not “condemning” you, but letting you know there are military spouses on the board too and to be careful. You claim to look at the bigger picture in situations. The bigger picture includes her argument as well.

Sheila, you are often the one who gives the advice and for someone in that position, it is hard to take advice from other people. My advice would be for you to let this subject now rest. There is really nothing else constructive that can be said and neither you nor her will listen to the other. Also, it is only the few of you on this board still keeping it alive. I am not a smily face kind of girl, because I speak what I mean and I don’t use a wink or a nod to soften the blow. If you need them feel free to insert them in my text as needed.

 

[Sheila]

I wasn't referring to YOU Becky! Various opinions are what make the world go around. There are definitely times when we all stand around scratching our heads & wondering what someone else is thinking, but there are very few people who make me just want to knock them upside the head (IE child molestors) ... certainly not anyone that I've encountered on Chef Success or Director's Chef Success. I'm just amazed at how offended some people can get over comments that other people wouldn't think twice about. I've been on Mommy board 4.5 years. Out of 100+ women, there were TWO who were causing turmoil. A bunch of the moms left the boards because of those 2 women. The few who were left (30 or so of us) went over to a private password protected forum about 3 years ago and are still thriving. We talk about super sensitive issues involving raising our children and there is ZERO drama on that board. Maybe it's the "sister" bond that we've formed over the years that makes it easier for everyone to communicate without hurt feelings? Heck, most of us have had more babies since we first formed our group and even with all the pregnancy hormones we haven't had issues. I've seen more hurt feelings on CS & on DCS than I've encountered on the Mommy forum. I find that weird! The only thing that I can figure out is that there are constantly people coming & going, so the true long-term bonds just are not happening?

Have I been derogatory about the CS poster over here? I was serious when I asked about the "sweetie" comment ... I wasn't saying that one to be offensive or to talk about her behind her back. I was trying to further my education. I really don't get why anyone would take that to be condescending, but apparently some people do. When I use that term, it's usually because I wish I could just hug the person and make all their pain go away (after they've lost a friend, family member, pet or are having health issues or just having a rough time in life). When I used the word "sweetie" responding to her I was NOT thinking "you're stupid", nor do I feel that way now. My opinion is that she's lead a sheltered & naive life (which I'm sure is a much more pleasant life not having to worry about the big picture) but I can't live my life believing that anyone (or any agency) has all the answers. It's impossible for anyone to know everything that there is to know. We are all constantly learning, growing and evolving. I actually have many friends in Japan who walk outside look at the beautiful day & scratch their heads at how anyone can be worried because they don't see, smell or taste radiation, therefore it can't possibly be dangerous to be there. I just can't live that sheltered. I was the 2 year year old who tried to take apart the toilet to see where the water went. I wasn't satisfied with it just going down that hole, I had to see where the hole went. I needed the WHOLE picture! LOL

 

[Sheila]

Wendy, I actually don't mind constructive criticism. I definitely respect your last post and the way you approached it. I've already tried to explain on CS that I didn't elaborate enough and that I wasn't trying - nor will I try - to do anything against the rules. I don't appreciate her not knowing the whole story & popping in there with her opinions of what she thought I was trying to say, but I've already acknowledged the fact that I failed to elaborate enough. I posted with the expectation that my audience was the ones who had been following the evacuation posts and already knew what was happening. I was wrong in that assumption. As for her attempt to threaten me ... it's not really a threat if there's no offense for her to report. She would end up being the one wasting military time having someone investigate me to try & find an offense that doesn't exist. And she's really not getting under my skin. I don't spend all day thinking about her or her opinions. As I just said in the post to Becky, I can't live as sheltered in life as she appears to be.Again, I'm not trying to fly under the radar or do anything shady or against the rules. I'm trying to protect my munchkins as much as possible from extra health hazards while conforming to the rules set forth by the military. I'll definitely pay attention in the future where I'm using a term of endearment to see if it's phrased in a way that might be read different from the intention. I didn't respond to her on that subject because I didn't want to stir the pot. I agree with you, she & I are not going to agree on this subject. She seems to be convinced that I'm going to intentionally do something wrong and I know that I won't. There's no point in continuing to argue that with her.Becky ... I forgot to ask ... IS there a way to delete threads? How???

 

[pamperedlinda]

I forgot to ask ... IS there a way to delete threads? How???

You should be able to delete it by going into the advanced edit screen on CS

 

[pamperedlinda]

if you want to delete on DCS you need to contact Deb or Greg (unless it's changed over here)

 

[cmdtrgd]

A few comments..."Sweetie" is a term of endearment in the south. Just like "hun", "darlin", "ma'am" and Mr., Mrs. and Miss. This is the culture. I can see how it can be misinterpreted, but it was not written that way.Secondly, I have no knowledge of the rules, so IS Shelia not following them? I know Shelia and would and have trusted her with my "issues" (I don't have kids so I have issues) which is difficult for me to do. I know she is an honest person with amazing integrity. Look at what the post really says...If you wonder what is going on when you see me on fb, this is why. And that they are doing this to "keep the military happy". She is following the rules (as far as I know) while doing something she doesn't want to do and putting herself and her babies in danger in order to support her husband who is fighting for us! I'm not sure how that could be misinterpreted???