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Have You Seen the Hilarious Parody Thread for 'Oh Stop It!'?
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Re: Fowl!Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To cockadoodle dooo something.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To prove to the possum that it could be done.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station.
Why did the horse cross the road?
Because the chicken needed a day off.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again?
Because he was a dirty double-crosser.
Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road ?
Because he didn't have enough guts.
Why did the chicken cross the "net" ?
It wanted to get to the other site.
How long do chickens work ?
Around the cluck.
What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning ?
An alarm cluck.
What does an alarm cluck say ?
"Tick-tock-a-doodle-doo!"
Why does a chicken coop have two doors ?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
Why did the chicken end up in the soup?
Because it ran out of cluck.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way?
She was tickled to death.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck?
A bird that lays down.
Why don't chickens like people?
They beat eggs.
Why did the rooster run away?
He was chicken.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
What happened when the chicken ate cement?
She laid a sidewalk.
What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken?
She kicked the bucket.
To get to the other side.
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To cockadoodle dooo something.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To prove to the possum that it could be done.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station.
Why did the horse cross the road?
Because the chicken needed a day off.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again?
Because he was a dirty double-crosser.
Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road ?
Because he didn't have enough guts.
Why did the chicken cross the "net" ?
It wanted to get to the other site.
How long do chickens work ?
Around the cluck.
What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning ?
An alarm cluck.
What does an alarm cluck say ?
"Tick-tock-a-doodle-doo!"
Why does a chicken coop have two doors ?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
Why did the chicken end up in the soup?
Because it ran out of cluck.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way?
She was tickled to death.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck?
A bird that lays down.
Why don't chickens like people?
They beat eggs.
Why did the rooster run away?
He was chicken.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
What happened when the chicken ate cement?
She laid a sidewalk.
What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken?
She kicked the bucket.
The_Kitchen_Guy
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Why did the chicken cross the road?As answered by various celebrites:
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it overcame a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
HILLARY CLINTON: It had two right wings and was part of a vast conspiracy to force all chickens to cross the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What Do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?
CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity and that you have severe chicken envy.
BILL GATES: I have just released Chicken 2012, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook--and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of Chicken2012.
EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said Unto the chicken," Thou shalt cross the road" And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
PLATO: For the greater good.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
And my favorite answer…
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. Alone. In the rain.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it overcame a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
HILLARY CLINTON: It had two right wings and was part of a vast conspiracy to force all chickens to cross the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What Do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?
CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity and that you have severe chicken envy.
BILL GATES: I have just released Chicken 2012, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook--and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of Chicken2012.
EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said Unto the chicken," Thou shalt cross the road" And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
PLATO: For the greater good.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
And my favorite answer…
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. Alone. In the rain.
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