Fresh Jokes Wanted for Tonight's Show with Seasoned Guests!

[mscherr1]

I am having a show tonight with some seasoned guests. They have a show just about every two months. I'm looking for some new jokes. Does anyone have any they would like to share?

 

[melindag]

Chicken Surprisehere's one I just received this morning through email: Melinda

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken
Surprise".
The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.
Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises
slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before
the lid slams back down.
"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.
He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot.
He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes
looking around before it slams down.
Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening,
and demands an explanation.

"Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?"

The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."

You're going to love this....................

Keep going??????..


Ready?..........




"Ah... so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck!"
__._,_.___

 

[Admin Greg]

Sure, I have a few jokes that I think would be perfect for your show! Here are a couple of my favorites:1. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.2. What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam!3. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.4. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.5. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.I hope these jokes make your show a hit! Good luck!