Discover the Best Source for Humorous Sayings to Spruce Up Your Outdoor Sign!

[kcjodih]

Anyone know a great website to find humorous sayings? My boss would like to put some on the outdoor sign to draw attention/give a smile but neither of us are creative. I've seen them in the next town over regularly on a few signs but need a source. One example on a car radiator place was a sign that states 'great place to take a leak'

 

[Tropicalburstqt2]

What kind of business is it?

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

My boss told me to change the stupid sign, so I did.

 

[kcjodih]

My boss told me to change the stupid sign, so I did.

LMAO...LOVE it KG! Not sure he would, but I sure do!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Gardening Jokes, Puns, Riddles, One-Liners, Humorhttp://www.vegard.net/about/one-liners.phpThe QQQ Files » One Liners.

 

[kcjodih]

What kind of business is it?

It's retail - frozen foods. It doesn't have to be related - in fact it might be better if it's not. There's just alot of sayings around town that make you smile, or things that make you go hmmm......

 

[Tropicalburstqt2]

How about... "Ignore those last two marquees!"

 

[Tropicalburstqt2]

There's a place that always has good ones. I'll find out where they get them next time I'm in town.

 

[kcjodih]

How about... "Ignore those last two marquees!"

Thanks Amy, much appreciated!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Red meat is not bad for you.
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Five days a week my body is a temple.
The other two it's an amusement park.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

When you work here, you can name your own salary.
I named mine, "Fred."

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.* * *If we weren't meant to eat animals then why are they made of meat?

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

One more then you're on your own...WHATEVER HITS THE FAN WILL NOT BE DISTRIBUTED EVENLY.

 

[rennea]

We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.

Oh I love it:thumbup: :thumbup:

 

[rennea]

One more then you're on your own...

WHATEVER HITS THE FAN WILL NOT BE DISTRIBUTED EVENLY.

I need to put this one on my office door at work. My office door is right next to my employee board. PERFECT

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Patrons Are Requested To Refrain From Disposing Of Their Cigarette Butts In The Urinal As They Become Soggy And Difficult To Light.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Always give 100% at work:
12% Monday
23% Tuesday
40% Wednesday
20% Thursday
5% Friday

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

MEETINGS:
A practical alternative to work.

 

[KellyTheChef]

MEETINGS:
A practical alternative to work.

LOL My DH would LOVE this one...I think he ends up spending about 2 days a week in meetings!

 

[chefann]

This blog has LOTS of pics of church signs that are really funny: Crummy Church Signs When they don't have pics, they do post the text. Like one that says "God, shelter us under your car" which must be a "typo" for care.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

I like, "HAVE A SPIFFY EPIPHANY"Is that anything like a COOL YULE?

 

[Tropicalburstqt2]

What about, "The person that does our signs is on vacation. Come inside for the message"

 

[katie0128]

I'm having a good day... DON'T screw it up.

I've quit listening, why haven't you quit talking?

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

I'm having a good day... DON'T screw it up.

I've quit listening, why haven't you quit talking?

A variation that's appropriate for certain people here...

I've quit reading, why haven't you quit posting?

 

[Tropicalburstqt2]

I couldn't agree more KG!!

 

[katie0128]

If you have quit reading, how do you know I've kept posting???? Hmmmmm...

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

My favorite post from that user:

This message is not visible because Moronica Dimwitz is on your ignore list.

 

[kcjodih]

When you work here, you can name your own salary.
I named mine, "Fred."

OMG, OMG, OMG sooooo LMAO KG!!

My hubby's name IS Fred! NOT calling MY salary that LMAO!!

 

[kcjodih]

Thanks again for everything KG!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

This blog has LOTS of pics of church signs that are really funny: Crummy Church Signs When they don't have pics, they do post the text. Like one that says "God, shelter us under your car" which must be a "typo" for care.

And if the guy sheltered is from Midas or Car-x, by the time he's out from under there, God will have a new exhaust system, shocks, brakes, air filter and new wiper blades.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Thanks again for everything KG!

You're welcome. And remember...

WARNING!
The chlamydia you got in Vegas will not actually stay in Vegas.