Disappointed My Recruit Trying to Book My Best Friend

[jrstephens]

I just talked to one of my best friend's tonight. My recruit had someone(a past host of mine) in my BF's office take up a show(perfectly fine by me). Well my recruit told MY friend today that she booked her a show off the coworker's show for the booking benefit if she wanted to do one in Sept. I had just talk to my friend today about doing a show in Sept. and my friend's mom is thinking of booking off her and doing one in Sept too.

I am upset b/c my recruit is ALSO one of my good friends, and I see this as a little betrayal.

I had this happen to me when I first started selling too with a friend that signed the same time as me. She tried booking some of my family and then when they would not book and told her their friends were going to book off them, she called the friend before they could book with me. Not really suprised about her b/c of the past but hurt none the less.

It just seems that people do more for bookings than I would do. I would never do this to my recruit. I even had a show booked with her husband's cousin's wife BEFORE she signed and offered to GIVE it to her when she signed b/c it was her family. She decided to not take it, I even talked to the host to tell her I had given it to my recruit if she wanted it since they were family.

I try to do everything as God would want me to do and know that I have. I just do not understand why people keep doing this to me, especially people that are my friend.

I did not get into PC to have problems with me friends! And this recruit/friend has just told me this week that she is probably not going to keep on going with PC b/c she is having such little success and she is pregnant and will have to be very careful b/c of some health problems. And maybe that is why she is scrounging for bookings but I would never do this.

Knowing her, she probably does not even think this should be a big deal, just that she offered the booking benefit to get a show. But it still hurts my feelings! And I am not going to say anything to her b/c I do not want more contraversy and I do not want to cause any problems for my BF at work either.

I did tell my BF the booking follows the show not the Consultant, but that will still end up being dicy too.

I also told my BF who asks LOTS of questions when she does a show or places an order that if she had the show for my recruit all questions and issues were to go to my recruit not to me and that I was not REMOTELY mean that as anything mean or nothing to her but that I would not be working for someone's show. That may sound harsh. I would gladly help my recruit with anything else but not with something I feel like should have not been done to me.

UHHHHHH!!!!! I cannot stand for this to happen to me again!!!

Sorry this is so long but I know I can vent to you all and get some empathy from fellow PC friends and consultants.

 

[chefjwr]

I'm sorry Jennifer. I have been down today too. I will keep you in my thoughts.

 

[PCwithStay-C]

Sorry bout the situation Jennifer. I have to say that seems a little backhanded of her to do. Hopefully she is just a little desperate to book shows and wont make a habit out of it.

 

[angmillar]

I'm so sorry! That would've hurt my feelings as well.

 

[Paula R. Lewis]

Jennifer,
I'm so sorry this has happened to you! I can only imagine the pain you are feeling right now. However, in reading your post, I couldn't help but notice that you seem to have a strong faith in the Lord. I hope that, while you are certainly welcome to vent here, that you are "venting" to Him as well. I mean, it's not like He doesn't already know all of this! I hope you will grow stronger in your faith through this, realizing that He has all things under control. It WILL work itself out, if you just turn it over to Him. Maybe not right away, but in time, you will be sure to see.
I pray that you will ultimately see His hand in all of this, and see how He was working for your good all the time!!

Blessings,
Paula

Romans 8:28 "But we know that all things work together for good to them that are called, according to His purposes, in Christ Jesus"

 

[jrstephens]

Thanks for those faithful words of encouragement Paula. I do have a strong faith in God, and I know that the devil will do things to try to pull me down.

Thanks to all of you for your encouragement. I knew I would find that here. It so much better sometime to "talk" to y'all b/c I know y'all can understand better than my non PC consultant friends. Plus, I do not want to talk about it to stir things up either - I know that only makes thing worse.

 

[Paula R. Lewis]

You're soo welcome! I've not had to experience anything like that in my PC business, but I've definitely experienced the "pain" of betrayal! It's not fun, to put it mildly, and it can last for a long time!!

It's great to have a "safe place" to let it out, so I hope we can help you through this, too!!

I wish you all the best, for a "speedy resolution"!!

Paula

 

[stayinathomemama]

Jennifer,
All you can do is hold yourself to the standard that you know God would hold you to. The other element is forgiveness. I know that can be hard, but it is the most important gift that God gives us. If you conduct your business ethically and fully relying on God, He will honor that.
Make yourself available without stepping on your recruit's toes. I currently have a consultant who just qualified and hasn't done anything for her guests that she serviced (won't return calls, etc.) I am considering how to tactfully recruit two of her customers. It gets touchy. I guess that I will just have to send an email to tell her that if she is not reaching these guests, that I will. I would hate to lose possibly great consultants because she won't follow through.
I'll say a prayer for you, your business and your situation.
God Bless.

 

[Christ Follower]

Jennifer,

I think your integrity in all of this speaks volumes. The fact that you would never do that to her (or anyone for that matter) does not go unnoticed! Keep up your good work and stand firm in the Faith. God definately will bless the work of your hands and see you through this. He always has ways of teaching us in the midst of "difficult" situations.
Be blessed!

 

[cmdtrgd]

Jennifer - What I would do is tell your recruit you would prefer to keep your bf as your customer. I had a similar situation when I first started (I was on the other side) with a sale - I was trying to get my last SS pack and was almost there and was out of people. My recruiter said those words to me and they were kind and to the point. Not a problem.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

I just talked to one of my best friend's tonight. My recruit had someone(a past host of mine) in my BF's office take up a show(perfectly fine by me). Well my recruit told MY friend today that she booked her a show off the coworker's show for the booking benefit if she wanted to do one in Sept. I had just talk to my friend today about doing a show in Sept. and my friend's mom is thinking of booking off her and doing one in Sept too.

I am upset b/c my recruit is ALSO one of my good friends, and I see this as a little betrayal.

I had this happen to me when I first started selling too with a friend that signed the same time as me. She tried booking some of my family and then when they would not book and told her their friends were going to book off them, she called the friend before they could book with me. Not really suprised about her b/c of the past but hurt none the less.

It just seems that people do more for bookings than I would do. I would never do this to my recruit. I even had a show booked with her husband's cousin's wife BEFORE she signed and offered to GIVE it to her when she signed b/c it was her family. She decided to not take it, I even talked to the host to tell her I had given it to my recruit if she wanted it since they were family.

I try to do everything as God would want me to do and know that I have. I just do not understand why people keep doing this to me, especially people that are my friend.

I did not get into PC to have problems with me friends! And this recruit/friend has just told me this week that she is probably not going to keep on going with PC b/c she is having such little success and she is pregnant and will have to be very careful b/c of some health problems. And maybe that is why she is scrounging for bookings but I would never do this.

Knowing her, she probably does not even think this should be a big deal, just that she offered the booking benefit to get a show. But it still hurts my feelings! And I am not going to say anything to her b/c I do not want more contraversy and I do not want to cause any problems for my BF at work either.

I did tell my BF the booking follows the show not the Consultant, but that will still end up being dicy too.

I also told my BF who asks LOTS of questions when she does a show or places an order that if she had the show for my recruit all questions and issues were to go to my recruit not to me and that I was not REMOTELY mean that as anything mean or nothing to her but that I would not be working for someone's show. That may sound harsh. I would gladly help my recruit with anything else but not with something I feel like should have not been done to me.

UHHHHHH!!!!! I cannot stand for this to happen to me again!!!

Sorry this is so long but I know I can vent to you all and get some empathy from fellow PC friends and consultants.

My question is: Would a FRIEND really do this to a friend? It sounds like you have modeled for her the ethical way to handle bookings - and yet she chooses to take a different route.

You have taken the right path - and in the end, you know that God will bless you for doing the right thing!

I had a similar situation where another PC consultant in my church actually convinced a girl that it was okay to sign with her - even though I was the one who had cultivated the relationship and had been talking to her.......I was very hurt at the time - but now I see how God is blessing me & my business - and she has gone inactive. Not to say "So There!" - but just know that God will bless you for doing what is right!

 

[finley1991]

Jennifer,

I can hear your disappointment in your post and you have every reason to feel this way. My only suggestion would be to maybe refocus your energy here and work on getting more leads. It's easy to dwell on something that happens like this but it won't help your business. Ask the Lord for guidance on this and you will get it. In the meantime, get busy and get bookings.

One thing I always tell my consultants is: "If you're not asking (for shows, recruits, orders, etc.), someone else is." Your story proves that point. I'm not saying what she did was right, but she was only doing her job in asking...

Good luck!

 

[pamperedgirl3]

One thing I always tell my consultants is: "If you're not asking (for shows, recruits, orders, etc.), someone else is." Your story proves that point. I'm not saying what she did was right, but she was only doing her job in asking...

Good luck!

It sounds like both Jennifer AND the recruit both talked to the friend TODAY! What a crummy situation! Good luck, Jennifer!

 

[Teresa Lynn]

I'm going to have a lot of unkind posts following this but here's my take on this ........ hold your head up and think iI've done a great job as a recruiter, she's asking EVERYONE for bookings. I know I personally preach that to my cluster there are times when I fail to ask everyone. (sometimes I prejudge them, other times I DON"T want to work with their personality etc.)

In a nice way, I guess I'm saying Get over it and be glad she's working her business. I am not taking your recruiters side or attacking you but, I think she was doing what seeemed right to her!!

Many of our customers do not realize how PC works and maybe your friend thought you would benefit too.

 

[Kathytnt]

I talked to my recruiter today who is also my Director - To be ethical I let her know that my sister had given me the name of a friend who says that she has lost touch with her PC consultant. Well her PC consultant is my Director. I will try to contact this person - I don't know if it is a case where she just doesn't feel 100% comfortable with my direcotr as her PC rep or what. There is a PC rep in our area that is top cookware seller and Director and some people on this list have raved about what a wonderful Director she is but I just don't (and my sister and her friends) don't care for her. THey just don't click.

Got off track there a little but there is a certain amount of ethics involved. If I book a show with this person or take her on as a customer I would certainly steer her back in the direction of my firector first if she is interested. I try to treat others the way I would like to be treated. I don't think what your friend did was right - There is enough business out there for all of us but you have to work the business not book everyone else's firends for yourself.

 

[baychef]

WARNING...LONG post!As with Teresa and Kathy...my posting may go against the popular way of thinking on this particular thread.

I have been on both sides of this issue. Jennifer, unless you bless and release...this may turn into an ugly mess of not only losing business, but more importantly friends.

I will try my best to explain my own experiences. My recruiter's cousin booked a fundraiser off from me. It was a whole $100 fundraiser. My recruiter who had become a friend, suddenly turned cold, never explaining why. Our director was a relative of my recruiter and eventually, I had to have our director be the go between to try to resolve this. It was suggested that I talk with my recruiter and explain what happened and I did. I was told by my recruiter that she was more upset with her cousin. LONG story short...she was still upset with me. This lead to months of hurt, anger and disappointments on everyone'e end. My recruiter stopped doing meetings (no director or hospitality in this area at the time) and I started having my own meetings to keep my team alive. I was told by our director that my recruiter would not be attending. Occasionally she would and it would take a freshly sharpened forged cutlery knife to cut the air.

At this point, I was tired of being remoseful, apologenic (sp??) and realized that no matter what I did or said...I was forever going to wear the scarlet letter. When others decided to hold on to this, I decided it was time to move on. My recruiter eventually quit and went with another DS. My director tried her best, but I could tell in little ways, that I was never completely "forgiven". Eventually, she went with the same DS company my recruiter did.

I now have a robust and growing team with a very awesome upline director. ALL OVER A $100 FUNDRAISER!!! I even offered to pay her the $20 I "earned" from the fundraiser...which after expenses I earned nothing (no trips or TPC was earned either!)

On the other end, I have had one of my downline try to recruit people that I have tried to recruit and do shows from my customers. And tell me things that we said about me from former hosts. As much as it hurts, my wonderful upline has me now thinking as a director...we want what is best for our downline. And I want happy customers. I now tell all of my recruits and my team...THERE ARE NO TERRITORIES. I have developed friendships with my hosts and my downline. It boils down to...some people like to work with you, some don't. Sometimes there are hosts that will book off a friend to help the friend. I am not going to go to one of my team members (who I want their business to grow too) and tell them hands off. It is their booking. At least it is my team that benefits and in the end I benefit as well.

I DO so VERY MUCH know how hurt your feelings are. You may have to separate business and friendship...for the sake of your friendships and your business. Bottom line...give it to God and let him handle this...or it will handle you. Give yourself time to feel hurt and mull it over, but then let it go for your sake. Many {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}!

 

[jrstephens]

Thank you all for your support and encouraging words.

I do feel I need to clarify a few things for some.

1. My recruit who is my friend KNOWS this person is one of my BF. So, there is no doubt that she knows who she is to me.

2. I talk to this BF almost everyday, so, it is not that I had not contacted her. We talk about PC almost every conversation. And she had just decided that morning from all the talk to consider doing another show to get the cookware and had just contacted me that morning to let me know.

3. I am not going to make a deal out of this with my recruit/friend. As I said in my first post, I a not mentioning this to her b/c I do not want to cause further problems with her or my BF. Other than my husband this site is the only place this has been and will be discussed at b/c I know God will not bless me for going out and spreading this and making a big deal out of it. That is not the Christian way. I will be blessing and releasing as soon as God works me thorugh this.

This hurts me b/c my recruit use to also be my coworker and we are still very close to the point of that I was the only one other than her husband that that knew they were trying to get pregnant for the past year or longer. If not for the close friendship and the knowing that she knows that my BF is my BF and a host, it would not have hurt so bad.

I have to kindly disagree that there are not "territories" for consultants. There may not be any lines drawn around the area, but there are certain areas that b/c of my faith and values that I would never go into when I know for certain another consultant has friends in it.

God has already blessed my business through this TODAY. My BF is booking with me and her mom told her yesteday that she wants to host another show too. SO, I got two bookings out of my conversation with my BF last night.

Now I do worry about the booking benefit from the host of my recruit since she booked my BF's show off it but I hate to contact for the benefit b/c I do not want to make the situation make a turn for thw worse. I am kind of hoping the host will just decide to not even use it. I am leaving it to BF as to whether or not she wants to offer it. She said this morning she would ask her and see.It would mean more Panaroma points for me, but at this point they will not be worth it if they are going to cause me any problems with my friend/recruit.

Thanks for listening y'all!

 

[baychef]

Jennifer, you have every right to be hurt. By saying there are no territories, I don't believe that gives everyone permission to purposely go out and seek everybody else's friends, etc. There are other DS companies out there that tell their consultants that once a customer has ordered from a consultant...then no other consultant from that company can sell to that customer. This is totally wrong for first the customer and second, a new person coming on board with their company. Many have had success with this company, but many have bit into it and found themselves with no business.

I know that you will work through this and hopefully, there may come a time and place that you can share your feelings with your recruit. Unfortunately, this happens more often than we think. Some people just do not think ahead of how it will feel or they are just oblivious to what they are doing.

Hope it all works out for you!

 

[jrstephens]

My BF just stopped by and when she asked her beautician to order she told her she had to call me b/c she decided to do a show for Sept herself. YEAH

 

[BethCooks4U]

Jennifer - What I would do is tell your recruit you would prefer to keep your bf as your customer. I had a similar situation when I first started (I was on the other side) with a sale - I was trying to get my last SS pack and was almost there and was out of people. My recruiter said those words to me and they were kind and to the point. Not a problem.

When a recruit and a friend are mutual friends I have told the friend that it is okay to order or even do a show with the new consultant to help her get started. (My best friend did a catalog show for a new consultant she didn't even really know so that she could qualify.) The friend is going to be the customer of the friend she feels most loyal to and shouldn't be torn apart. It hurts all the friendships. - Sometimes they order alternately with both depending on who needs the help that month.

My niece did a show for me and her friend ended up signing. Now the niece is thinking of signing (they both live in TX and I live in NC). I have told the niece that it's up to her and that it would help me just as much if she signed with her friend (one step closer to director there). Either way I will be her upline and will help her all I can.

Give your friend your blessing to order for the other friend. If she wants to be your customer and the other friend is being too aggressive then have a talk with the consultant friend but know that this is a delicate area to be walking. It's better to share than hurt either of the friendships.

 

[jrstephens]

Give your friend your blessing to order for the other friend. If she wants to be your customer and the other friend is being too aggressive then have a talk with the consultant friend but know that this is a delicate area to be walking. It's better to share than hurt either of the friendships.

My friend has orderd from her before and with my blessings. She will call to make sure it is ok before she does it. I am fine with her ordering but not fine with her hosting. She also usually generates a few bookings and by her hosting for someonelse that would loose me future bookings too.

I am perfectly fine with any of my friends or family ordering from anyone else to help them out but hosting is a different story.

And my recruit is not friends with my BF she just knows her from going in the office she works in sometimes.

 

[BethCooks4U]

It's really up to your BF what she does. If she wants you to be her consultant then she needs to tell your recruit that she is yours.