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Dealing with the Loss of a Pet: Coping with My Son's Bird Passing Away

T
tpchefrebecca
My son's bird Quincy died today. I feel so awful because I just lectured him about his homework and responsibilities. He is 8 and just hasn't been doing his chores. I was so upset with him that while I was talking with him I asked him if he fed the birds. He goes upstairs and comes down the stairs crying his eyes out.

I know he is only 8. He takes care of the birds, takes the dog out for excercise, and does homework 1 page a day. As I am typing I can see he has a full day. I am debating putting him back in Karate. Not for responsibility but for fun. I just don't want to overload him.

Poor guy. He is so sensitive. I told him we could get another bird and as I said it I wanted to take it back. I know Leo (the other bird) will need a friend soon. I don't want him to up and go too.

I know this is not PC, but any advice on what to do would be great.
 
Rebecca I am so sorry to hear about your bird. I know this might sound kind of silly but let him know he was not the one that killed the bird. When I was about 8 yrs old I forgot to feed my dog on Sat. and the next day I was trying to get her to eat and she wouyld not eat or go in her dog house (it was raining) and the next morning (Mon) I went to go check on her and she was dead. I was so sure that I had killed her. She really died of old age.
 
Rebecca - maybe you need to schedule some time with him this weekend (not assuming that you don't do this already)... If he is slacking and this just hit him, just like an adult (actual even more so), he needs a fun break from all his "responsibilities" and some rest and hopefully he'll start to do better. Take him to do something he'll enjoy!

...and like Jennie said, remind him that it wasn't his fault the bird died...the death of a pet at that age can hit you hard...
 
Oh, I am so sorry! Remind him how much you love him! Tell him it wasn't his fault! And that there are lots of ladies all over the country praying for him right now!
 
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Thanks, he is making his 1st communion this weekend and family are coming into town and it is just crazy.

I know it is not his fault. However, my exact words to him during the lecture were" I bet you haven't fed the birds yet!" That is the devestating part. The actual timing was just awful. I feel like a complete heartless witch.

We are taking the puppy to puppy class tonight and I hope it gets his mind off things. I will make sure we have a special day though. That is a great idea. Maybe I will do it Sat. while my mom is here to watch my daughter. I love my son to death and just want the best for him.
 
Jennie4PC said:
Rebecca I am so sorry to hear about your bird. I know this might sound kind of silly but let him know he was not the one that killed the bird. When I was about 8 yrs old I forgot to feed my dog on Sat. and the next day I was trying to get her to eat and she wouyld not eat or go in her dog house (it was raining) and the next morning (Mon) I went to go check on her and she was dead. I was so sure that I had killed her. She really died of old age.
Click to expand...

I had a similar incident with my pet skunk (yes, a real live scented baby skunk). I didn't feed him one evening and the next day he was gone. . .my dad made me feel like it was all my fault that he left. I still feel bad today even though I know it was either time for him to live by his own clock (they are nocturnal) or something came and ate him.

Please, just let him know that it wasn't anything he did wrong.
 
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I will definitly let him know that it wasn't his fault. He is a very sweet boy and I know he does his best.

Thanks for the well wishes. I will have him read this thread before bedtime. Thank you everyone!
 
I wish you lived closer we've been trying to get rid of my daughter's English Budgie. We had 2 Squeak and Sqwauk 1 died cuz it went without water she'd cleaned the cage and forgot to put the water tube back in.... The other one is soooo hearty. we can't find anyone to take it, we've even called pet stores.
 
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That is so thoughtful. Have you tried the paper? Yesterday at the petstore (went to puppy training class) he wanted to get another right away and name him Quincy 2. I still have to talk to my husband about it.

My son is doing well and seems to have slept well. We'll see how the day goes.

Thanks for the thought :)
 

Related to Dealing with the Loss of a Pet: Coping with My Son's Bird Passing Away

1. How can I help my child cope with the loss of a pet?

Losing a pet can be a difficult experience for both adults and children. It's important to acknowledge your child's feelings and provide them with support and comfort. Encourage them to express their emotions and share memories of their pet. You can also create a special memorial for the pet, such as planting a tree or making a scrapbook.

2. Is it normal for my child to feel guilty about the loss of their pet?

Yes, it's common for children to feel guilty when a pet passes away. They may blame themselves for not taking better care of the pet or for causing its death. It's important to reassure your child that they are not at fault and that they did their best to take care of their pet.

3. Should I get another pet to help my child cope with the loss?

It's important to give your child time to grieve and process their emotions before considering getting another pet. Rushing into getting a new pet may not be helpful and could even cause more emotional distress. Instead, focus on helping your child remember and honor their lost pet.

4. How can I support my child's emotional well-being during this time?

Aside from providing emotional support and understanding, you can also engage your child in activities that they enjoy, such as playing games or going for walks. Encourage them to talk about their feelings and let them know it's okay to feel sad and to take their time in healing.

5. Should I enroll my child in activities to keep them busy?

It's important to find a balance between keeping your child busy and allowing them time to grieve. Enrolling them in extracurricular activities can be a good distraction and provide a sense of routine, but make sure not to overload them. It's also important to check in with your child and make sure they are not using activities as a way to avoid processing their emotions.

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