Choose to Be a Whale: A Message to Embrace Ourselves

[raebates]

I received the following in an email from a friend. I'm sharing it everywhere. I have no idea where it originated or whether it actually happened or not. What I do know is that I love the message!

Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said:

This summer do you want to be a Mermaid or a Whale?

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans)... They have an active sex life; they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia , the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia . Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they don't have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a coffee with my friends.. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ¨Good gosh, look how smart I am...¨

 

[janetupnorth]

Love it Rae - that is funny!I'm all for healthy but without the stigma society puts on it. If you are lazy and a glutton, then heavy isn't good, but if that is just the way God made you or there is a medical reason, who cares, it's the inside that counts.

 

[baychef]

I am a happy whale....besides, I don't care for fish scales!!! And if I were to go bra-less like a Mermaid...well, let's just say that the oceans would flood the earth!!:sing:

Piggishly yours,
Baychef

 

[raebates]

It was ironic for me to receive this after going through the Clarion Health Building at the state fair yesterday. Every evaluation I went through said I was in excellent health, but my weight made me at high risk for, well, everything. I'm not averse to losing a few pounds. What I know is that right now:

• While I am diabetic and take oral medication, my diabetes is under very good control.
  
• I exercise 6 days a week. I do 30 minutes of strenuous aerobic activity Monday-Friday; 20 minutes on Saturday. I do strength training, including weights, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I do simple yoga stretches on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.
  
• At the age of 46 I have absolutely no joint pain or stiffness.
  
• My cholesterol is very good.
  
• My blood pressure is excellent.

Gee, I guess the email struck a nerve.

 

[janetupnorth]

It was ironic for me to receive this after going through the Clarion Health Building at the state fair yesterday. Every evaluation I went through said I was in excellent health, but my weight made me at high risk for, well, everything. I'm not averse to losing a few pounds. What I know is that right now:

• While I am diabetic and take oral medication, my diabetes is under very good control.
  
• I exercise 6 days a week. I do 30 minutes of strenuous aerobic activity Monday-Friday; 20 minutes on Saturday. I do strength training, including weights, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I do simple yoga stretches on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.
  
• At the age of 46 I have absolutely no joint pain or stiffness.
  
• My cholesterol is very good.
  
• My blood pressure is excellent.

Gee, I guess the email struck a nerve.

Every time I've seen you, you've looked perfectly healthy!
Besides, most diabetics I meet are actually skinny. I hate that they tie diabetes to obesity. Granted extra weight can bring diabetes on but diabetes does not discriminate.

 

[raebates]

Thanks so much, Janet. I can't tell you how much your comment means to me.I struggle a bit with my self-image. Most of the time I fell pretty good about myself. I'm healthy and active, and my husband thinks I'm a beautiful, sexy woman. Still . . .I was a skinny, skinny kid. When I was in high school I started getting curvy. I was still thin, but I definitely had an hourglass figure. My mom (who has a very different build) started making comments about me being "hippy." I wore a size 4 or 5. There was no way I was hippy. However, those comments (along with a lot of other stuff) led to my first diet at the age of 16. Years of yo-yo dieting pretty effectively destroyed my metabolism. I've shared before about my last major weight loss. I've managed to keep those 45 pounds off for over 10 years. I consider that a major accomplishment. Still, I know that my mom (who happens to be visiting right now) considers me morbidly obese. (Yes, I know she has issues of her own.) Her comments to and about me cut right through to that insecure little girl inside. BTW, generally speaking, skinny diabetics are type I. They don't produce insulin. Heavier diabetics (like me) are type II. We either under-produce insulin or cannot properly utilize it.

 

[janetupnorth]

Interesting to know about the Type I/Type II.Don't let your mom's comments affect you. My mom constantly comments about the fact that I weigh 125 after kids and she supposedly weighed 110 before and after the kids until she was 45 (that was a comment 2 nights ago), last conversation it was 40 years old. Not to mention I am taller than her. 3 days after Sammie was born, we were walking around camp. (Sammie was induced and I had 5 IV bags pumped in my system in 12 hours so I had to buy new shoes to leave the hospital from the swelling). Anyway, she commented that I looked "fat". I thought my SIL was going to punch her. My husband almost had to hold her sister back. My mom doesn't mean these things maliciously...it's like a person speaking without being fully conscious of what they are saying. If you confront her on it, she truly doesn't get it. I don't let it bother me. My motto: If you don't like me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best!Rae, you are beautiful and healthy and just fine! You always look great and have a wonderful glow and smile about you. The love of Christ shines through you! If that doesn't match someone's stereotype - too bad! Tell they you're getting a new body when you get to heaven...and who knows...maybe being in God's image consists of a few more pounds. ...or a higher metabolism...especially since they'll be a big feast.

 

[pampchefrhondab]

I love this! I've got to send this to my sisters!

Rae, I know how you feel. When we were young at my house my Dad always watched what we kids ate. We could never eat what we wanted, but my Mom always made us finish our plate if we took the food - crazy now that I think about it. I dieted all through my teens and also destroyed my metabolism. I've never controlled my kids eating and have never told them to finish their plates. They are all very healthy weights and have never had to go on a diet. They do exercise - they are all in swimming and my son is in football.

I need to lose weight, but I don't even eat that much to begin with! I really should probably do a diary for a few weeks, track my weight, exercise and take the notes to my Dr. They have tested my thyroid and it was okay.

I was having a lot of joint pain, but it's getting much better since I gave up the Diet Mt. Dew!! I started looking up info. on-line and many others have had the same symptoms from Splenda! I had no idea. I had prayed to God a few days before I gave up the Dew to give me relief. I know it was His guidance that made me stop drinking it. I really don't have any other reason why I decided to stop. It's a miracle.

Thanks again for the story - I love it!

 

[raebates]

Janet, you made me cry. The very fact that your own mom has made such comments about your svelt, athletic self makes me wonder what kind of mental dialog goes on in her head. I know my own mom's has to do with her obese, alcoholic mom. Thank you for reminding me about what's truly important in my life.Honestly, I didn't expect this thread to turn into my own private therapy session. LOL!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

I am a happy whale....besides, I don't care for fish scales!!! And if I were to go bra-less like a Mermaid...well, let's just say that the oceans would flood the earth!!:sing:

Piggishly yours,
Baychef

They don't make sea shells small enough to cover my girls...

 

[Kitchen Diva]

My mother is nice enough to not say anything about my weight, but always comments about my health...and has made comments about things I used to complain about health wise as a child, but she didn't do anything about them because she thought I was just making stuff up for attention. What the heck?!?

Anywhooo- I'll just be the best whale I can be.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Rae - I love you! You are such a gift...
I know how hard you work to be healthy, and how conscientious you are with your diet and exercise. You are an amazing Mom, Wife, Friend, and Woman of God! (if it wasn't your mom - I'd offer to come kick ankles for you.)

(I'm sorry, but some of these posts made me cry. I just wanted you to know how beautiful you are to me.)


Oh - and Janet - how anyone could EVER make any sort of comment about you being heavy is beyond me. You play softball, you fight fires, you dive, you run all over creation with your kids, you bike, you garden...and the list goes on. You have a beautiful body that carries you through the busiest life I've ever seen!

 

[baychef]

I too am sorry to hear about the comments made to you both. I don't recall comments from my Mom, but my brother on the other hand was cruel. He was the oldest...the next brother was the middle child and was too busy to bother with such things. "Busy" as in "experiencing life to the fullest"!

To Rae and Janet...you both are wonderful women. Thank goodness it is our souls that really matter to people. How we treat one another and respect one another. You two both excel in these areas! You both are beautiful women inside and out!

Now Kitchen Diva...about those sea shells...are we talking conch shells or those teenie tiny little iddy bitty shells that are smaller than one's finger tip?!?! Ha! Not to worry...being "well endowed" has just as many negatives as positives!!

 

[janetupnorth]

Thanks guys, but I really don't take Mom's things personally. I can see in her and her sisters how much they were hurt as children with comments. I can tell it is just a spewing of what was told to them year after year. We've broken the cycle in our family. My daughter KNOWS she's cute and healthy and no matter what she is highly valued by God. I watch closely how my kids are treated NOW. They already separate good from bad and when they hear a bad comment Sammie already says, "I know that isn't true Mom, they are just saying that because of their hurt. They need Jesus in their hearts or Jesus to help them. I'll pray for them." Love my little girl!!!!

 

[raebates]

We've broken the cycle with our son, too. He was the short, chubby guy in elementary and junior high. In high school he suddenly grew several inches and thinned out. He's got a very athletic build and a healthy attitude toward food. I think we sometimes forget that these days young men are inundated with almost as many unrealistic images as young women are.

 

[pampchefrhondab]

It's nice to break the cycle that's for sure. I've done the same w/my children.

One time we went camping w/my parents and my Dad tried to tell my son he was having too many pancakes and too much syrup. My husband actually yelled at my Dad about it (told him he's a growing boy and to leave him alone) because he knows how much he would do that to us kids when we were little. He did come from a family of really obese people though. I think he was always worried about us.

My parents don't say anything to me anymore - thank the Lord. My worst memory was when we were watching home movies. My Dad had taken a video of me walking to the road w/my bike and said, "I took this so Rhonda could see how big her butt is." He said this in front of people outside of our family as well! What's amazing is I was not fat, I was 5'9" and about 135 pounds for goodness sakes! Of course, I thought I was fat.
I hope I have never said anything to my children that hurt them like this!

 

[pampered1224]

Thanks Rae!!!
I have been heavy since I was nine. That makes 40 years. According to the councelor that helped me sort out my life in my very early 20's, it was my mom's fault. Now, I know that is a major cop out but a normal dinner conversation went something like this: "Eat that! There are children all over the world starving." 20 seconds later, "Geez, you sure are getting big!". Well, with such support as that, what the heck was I supposed to do? I ate everything ever put in front of me except liver! I had one other issue to deal with, my grand mother, my best friend int he entire world died when I was nine. All the older relatives refused to let me go to the funeral to say good bye. I healed the hurt with things like, twinkies, brownies, cans of - yes I did - frosting and jars of hot fudge! Just a spoon mind you! I am now a 49 old almost 385 pound person who runs around constantly doing this that or the other thing but have never gotten control of my eating. I am a type 2 diabetic, high blood pressure and high cohlesteral person with it all under control with meds. My heart is sound, my brain is a mess but really, whose isn't! But I am happy. I have great friends, a partner who loves the day lights out me no matter what - it has been 23 years - and a family who now understands that they screwed up! To late but heck. So I 'll take being and looking and being built liek a whale any day. Besides, I have been heavy for so long, I am not sure I could handle being anything but!
So thank you Rae for making my day! Luv YA!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

I too am sorry to hear about the comments made to you both. I don't recall comments from my Mom, but my brother on the other hand was cruel. He was the oldest...the next brother was the middle child and was too busy to bother with such things. "Busy" as in "experiencing life to the fullest"!

To Rae and Janet...you both are wonderful women. Thank goodness it is our souls that really matter to people. How we treat one another and respect one another. You two both excel in these areas! You both are beautiful women inside and out!

Now Kitchen Diva...about those sea shells...are we talking conch shells or those teenie tiny little iddy bitty shells that are smaller than one's finger tip?!?! Ha! Not to worry...being "well endowed" has just as many negatives as positives!!

Um, not the tiny ones- thankfully the girls managed to blossom beyond that- but not a conch shell either- more like the shells that pearls are made in.