Celebrating 150 Years of Family Farming: Honoring the Past with a Slide Show

[crystalscookingnow]

My DH's family has been farming the same ground for 150 years. We are having a party this Saturday to celebrate the anniversary. I am making a slide show with pictures from the early 1900's - now. My MIL gave me a bunch of pictures to scan/include in the slide show. My DH was married previously & she included a couple of pictures from that wedding day. None of them have his ex in them. One is a picture of MIL & FIL in their wedding day attire & the other is of MIL, FIL, SIL & DH. I'm having a hard time including these pictures... I'm not sure why. I just have a funny feeling in my stomach when including these. None of SIL's first marriage pictures are included, nor are our wedding pictures (I'm gonna put some in!!), or SIL's current marriage.

What would you do? Include them or not? DH says he doesn't care one way or another.

 

[pamperedlinda]

They are probably including those because they look good in them (we all like to look our best in pictures - right?) So long as the X isn't in them I'd go ahead and put them in. Be sure to find some really good ones of your wedding to include - people just might think that the other pictures were from your wedding too.

 

[pampcheflisa]

wow - that is a tough situation!!
I know for me personally, I am kind of a pushover, so I would probably include begrudingly just because I wouldn't want to upset my MIL. But, if it makes you that uncomfortable, could you just gently tell her the truth, that these pictures make you think of your DH's first marriage and is there any way you could include similar pictures from your own wedding?

That's a tough one though, I wish you all the best!!

 

[dianevill]

I would include them. I was married previously, and my dad died a couple months after our wedding. I have pictures up around our house of him and my mom and him and me that are from my wedding. My DH has no problem with it - he knows I love him:love:.

 

[crystalscookingnow]

They do look good in them & I know that she spent a lot of money on the pictures. I'll probably just get over it & include them. Sadly, the other pictures wouldn't be confused with ours... We eloped & have no family in our wedding photos! LOL...

I'll just turn my head when those are on the big screen.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

You cannot expect a family to flush away X-years of their lives because you don't like one of the characters in that part of their story. My first marriage was a full ten years of my life and it is a part of my family's history, like it or not.

 

[Jenni]

If he had kids with her I would put them in other then that I might burn them...hehe

 

[DebbieJ]

I'm with KG. Put them in.

 

[Teresa Lynn]

I agree with KG it is part of history, I'd be gracious include them and don't turn away when you get to that part be proud, you're the wife he is with now.the one thing special we did that cost way too much $$$ when we got married was to have photos done in albums that said "our son's wedding" , "our daughter's wedding" to give each set of parents.we were married in June, gave the albums over Labor Day went to visit for Thanksgiving his 8 year old sister wanted us to look at the album with her.... My husband's oldest brother had divorced in September (NO mention at either of his brother's summer weddings) so my MIL cut the EX SIL's face out of EVERY picture or cut the pictures in half and put them back in. I was sick when she could have just put them away or given them back to us.The SIL was an artist and had done pencil sketches, pen and ink and water color portraits of my husband's little sis and had them framed and gave to them. she probably had 25 they had hung proudly until the divorce then my MIL BURNED them so there would be no reminders. To this day I think my SIL might have wanted them for when she had her own family

 

[chefmeg]

You cannot expect a family to flush away X-years of their lives because you don't like one of the characters in that part of their story. My first marriage was a full ten years of my life and it is a part of my family's history, like it or not.

on this note~my sister completely deleted her 1st DIL from a family picture using her computer! That is just wrong and told her so.....KG's right...family history is what it is and there just isn't a thing we can do to change it!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

on this note~my sister completely deleted her 1st DIL from a family picture using her computer! That is just wrong and told her so.....KG's right...family history is what it is and there just isn't a thing we can do to change it!

In a perfect world.....I would agree - but in a perfect world, we wouldn't have to deal with broken families, and these issues wouldn't come up.

I have removed all remnants of my DH's ex from our photo albums, and actually, so has his family from theirs. It was a bad time for all of them, and not one that they care to be reminded of. She wreaked havoc on our lives when we were dating (4 yrs after the divorce that she initiated) and when we were first married. She is a crazy woman. She is still in this area, and we do run into her occasionally. I don't want my son saying "Oh mommy - there's the lady in the pictures!" I don't want him to identify with her in any way - I try to shield him from her, because I honestly don't know what she might say or do - even to him. She wouldn't be included in any family history that was going up on a screen, I can guarantee it!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

My ex's family puts the FUN in dysFUNctional, and I have an ex BIL who's primary function in life is to provide carbon dioxide for the trees, but I don't understand why people do silly things like cut faces out of photos or Photoshop people out of family pictures. I would never do that. It's all part of my history. My ex did a couple of things that were horrible, but that's all part of her, um, charm I suppose.As for the ex BIL, don't worry - he speaks highly of me, too.

 

[crystalscookingnow]

The pictures are in there, even though they make me a bit uncomfortable.

On a side note... The reason that I considered not putting them in is because they were married for not quite 10 months & they had no children. There are other 'nice' family pictures from that time that did not include the wedding day. They had pro pictures done just before the wedding.