Okay, so I’m not quite sure if this post is going to turn into venting or asking for advice or what I’m looking for, but here goes. As of right now I am currently inactive. I joined PC one year ago. A close family friend signed on, who was only 21 at the time, and seemed to be having so much fun with it. Seeing her made me think of PC as something I could do. I didn’t think of a young college student as the typical PC consultant, but realized it was possible. So my friend gave me all of the recruiting info, took me to observe one of her own first shows, and did a really great job recruiting me. When it came time to sign on, she told me that her and her director, who I knew from previous shows, had talked it over and decided I should sign under the director to help keep her from losing her directorship. So knowing nothing about the way recruiting or any of that works, I did. Well it turns out that her director is not exactly the supportive or motivating type. She did lose her directorship, right before I signed, so she lost all her consultants, and I was her first new one. She was not on speaking terms with her own director, also my current director, and tried to convince me that I shouldn’t be either. Because of their whole situation, my director and I were both hesitant, and never ended up contacting until recently. I must say, she’s wonderful. But I feel so embarrassed at being inactive and at the way I’ve worked my business that I sort of dread her calls or e-mails. I never had many bookings to start, and didn’t generate them from the few shows I did, so I got frustrated and burnt out easily. I still haven’t done a real cooking show. I’ve had mostly catty shows, and three cooking shows, but all three shows had a max of 3 people in attendance, and I didn’t do a demo. I have a major fear of public speaking, and am so nervous at the thought of doing a real demo that I talk myself out of pursuing bookings. For example, a few months ago, my former manager mentioned wanting to book a show, but I never followed up. My reasoning was that he was a former consultant himself, and went to culinary school, and I was afraid he would think I was awful. I’ve had two eye opening experiences over the last few days that have made me realize I was being foolish and I need to start working my business again. I love PC, I’m in need of the extra income and flexible hours, it fits my life well, and the products really sell themselves they’re so great. I want to do it. I guess I just need a kick in the butt to get me going. And some good ideas on how, since I have very few former customers and hosts or leads to work with. Wow, it took me a long time to say all that. To those of you still reading, thanks, and I apologize for my wordiness. Any advice is greatly appreciated!